Tales from the Brynmawr Season 2 (original) (raw)

01:58 pm - Tales from the Brynmawr Season 2
Note to Fans: The Cast of the Brynmawr has been changed somewhat this season due to Contract Disputes, and the following characters have left the series.

Craig: (aka Cpt. Crackhead) The schizophrenic, delusional, obsessive compulsive, sometimes nudist who's quirks included but were not limited to: Arguing with the third floor tenants without leaving the second, Talking to people who left the room an hour ago, Threatening passing housepets, Dragging branches and twigs into the bathroom and washing them to use as decorations in his room (big branches) and leaving the crap he washed off in the tubdrain.

Mitch: (aka the Phantom Pisser) Also schizophrenic, heard voices coming from passers by and the occasional inanimate object. Often held conversations, or at least tried to with each, delusional, combative, with a marked obsession for body fluids and low grade pornography. Surprisingly adept Guitar player. Quirks included but are not limited to: talking to himself, knocking on tennants doors at all hours to beg for money or food, leaving bizarre or strangely considered gifts at people's doors such as half finished grooming aids, foreign coins and the occasional crystal. Having hours long rants on the back porch to whoever it was that talked to him last(usually in his comestained boxers), left the floor of his room covered in torn out pages from skin mags that had to be scraped off with a putty knife. Poor Chucky. Poor, poor Chucky. Most importantly, he managed to pee all over every bathroom, all three back porches and various parts of the cellar at least twice a month for the entire duration of his stay until he was finally caught and evicted. He even manged to peg the landlord's office door once.

Joe C. (aka Chef) The 400lb walking libido was a personal favorite and loved by all. Not insane, but played it very well when angered. He used to run a meal program for tenants that wanted to contribute a bit each month to the food fund. from what I hear a great cook. Most noteable achievement: Chasing (waddling really: he can only move so fast) Mitch around for two days with a club in his hand and tearing Mitch's bicycle literally to pieces. He caught Mitch the following day to much celebration. We actually watched that show from the back porch while refreshments were served (beer and a joint) by R. and the Dogfather, our landlord.

Farewell travellers. You shall be missed. Uh huh.

Here at Laughing Nimrod Productions we realize quality performances like these are going to be hard to live up to. but we intend to work harder than ever to bring you nothing but the best non-lethal(we hope) comic insanity fitchburg, MA can offer. In that spirit, we present to you:

Tales From the Brynmawr!

The Dogfather: The landlord. Over worked, horribly underpaid 'tard herder and Chief Human in Charge.

Janrae (1st fl.): Middle aged SF writer and internet junkie. Wonderfully prolific writer. Put upon, highly stressed, unhappy, and a brilliant cynic. Occasionally known to let a cast iron frying pan speak for her when accosted by the neighbors. Has for a roommate Levi, a mixed breed dog with a strange attitude and endless energy that will without provocation utter incredibly human sounding yelps.

Gus (1st fl.): Schizoid, mumbles obscenities to himself and will occasionally fire rude comments at passersby as he walks away. Has been known to try to touch people's faces for some reason.

Chucky (1st fl.): The janitor and maintenance man. Afflicted with a horrendous stutter and a taste for really cheap beer. Gregarious and somewhat put upon.

Dave (1st fl.): Recluse and heap big Disco fan living in the room below me. Not too bad but he needs to stop playing that fucking disco or he has to die. Just because.

Cool George (1st fl.): Unobtrusive, married owner of the largest goddam Rottweiller I've ever seen. Named Rocky, of course.

Rob [Cool George's brother(1st fl.)]: Mostly drunk, sometimes stoned, sometimes funny, likes to punch the George he's not related to.

George (2nd fl.): Abrasive, Amazingly stupid Sexist Letch with a penchant for getting shitfaced and falling down stairs, slamming into walls face first and hitting Rob in the fist with his face. Predictably enough, many of his injuries result from attempting to grope a certain TS's rear end without her permission. Strange how even after two black eyes and numerous bruises he still doesn't get it.

Lena (2nd fl.): Funny, 4'11" white haired granny and mother to Cool George and Rob.

Frank (2nd fl.): 58 year old amateur PC repair fanatic who's running short of parts, patience, and beer. One of the veterans, he's been here for more than a decade.

Dave (2nd fl.): Paranoid, chronic complainer, threatens to call Health Dept. daily. Often seen walking downtown wearing a dreadlock wig and shouting obscenities at cops. A little off.

Roger (2nd fl.): Drunk and toothless, Seems friendly enough. Inordinate number of female guests. They seem friendly too. *g*

Louis #1 aka the Denmother (2nd fl.): somewhat oblivious to what's said to him. Thick headed. Collector of stray winos and indirectly the cause of most of the current problems on the second floor including: Shit found in both 2nd floor bathtubs, gum on the floor (same location) sand in the bathtubs, dunkin donut bags and leaves stuffed in the toilet, a set of works found on the left second floor bathroom and dirt, vodka bottles and various debris strewn hither and yon.

Louis #2 aka Screwy Louis (2nd fl.): Seems we have another Mitch in training. 5'3", talks incessantly to himself, picks his privates in public, doesn't wash, and doesn't seem to register when he's being talked to. Much comic potential here.

Natalie or "Yours Truly" (2nd fl.): Writer, whiner, Resident Loudmouthed trannydyke and part time urban commando. Has this absurd notion that women and queers are people too. Rude, subject to fits of depression, Visciously and aggressively sarcastic. All in all a pretty nice girl. *cough*

Peter H. aka "The Vandal" (2nd fl.): Seventy year old who on occasion goes on a spree of vandalism whenever he's kept awake more than two nights in a row. Problem: He's never actually vandalised the person responsible for keeping him up. One day we hope his aim improves.

And the rest: There are at least ten others living in this bldg. Most of them are on the third floor and for the most part they consist of your basic thirty-fifty somethings just working or not, drinking, smoking, and generally carrying on. Some of them may develope as characters as time goes on. More later.

And here's the punchline for those of you who don't get it. I'm not kidding.

**These people are real.**Here's to a GREAT second season!
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Current Music: Rolling Stones: Paint it Black