Rise of a religion, and empires 2. (original) (raw)

| | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

I'm going to write about love. People (especially younger people- This is for them) can take it or leave it but I really hope that at least someone out there would listen and take in even a small bit of what I say because this is really important.

Before we go into what love is, we need to first, through a process of elimination, say what love is NOT.

Love is not just a feeling. It is not just an emotion.

People focus far too much on what is known as romantic love (Greek term: eros). Feelings are fleeting, and if you just focus on them then love could be there one day and not be there the next; It could even be there one moment and not be there the next! This is not the way love should be. If love is subject to mere whim then there might as well not be love. Personal preferences and likings are whimsical but please do not apply it to love unless you want this "love" to be extremely fragile and not able to stand up to any sort of a test whatsoever. When the feeling isn't there, boom! That's it. This easy-come, easy-go conception of love is downright harmful.

Love is not about you. It is not about what you're getting out of the other person.

What happens when love is carried out in a self-centered manner is this. Each person carries expectations on what he or she would and should get out of the relationship and how the other person should be in general. It's the old "what's in it for me?" and "What have you done for me today?" Love thus becomes completely conditional upon the performance of the other party. "If you love me, you would change" "If you love me, you would do this" and "I've done all these things for you, didn't you see?" or "I made these adjustments, why can't you?". If the expectations aren't met, then it's Fail Time. Enough failures then boom! It's done. This vending machine conception of love would be one heck of a tough thing to live under. Love is not bought by anyone's good behavior. It is not some kind of a "deal" that you sign up on and then cancel out of.

Okay, all these things about what love isn't. Then was IS love?

Love is selfless giving (closest Greek term: agape). Part of this selfless giving involves commitment, and the other involves a whole lot of work. Yes- WORK. A love relationship takes quite a bit a work to maintain, which may surprise a lot of people. If someone is not prepared to commit and do some serious work FOR and WITH this other person (of course, it has to be two people doing it at the same time- Love has much more to do about what you do than what you feel) ...then there had better be some second thoughts about whether it's love that's being done instead of something akin to liking, appreciation, infatuation, "luv", "wub", et cetera.

Some finer point regarding the characteristics of love and I'll be done.

Love is patient – Since you're committed to the other person, it takes patience to work things through even if it's something small like waiting for your wife to finish choosing what to wear.

Love is kind – It goes without saying that you had better be nice even when you don't exactly feel like being nice. Control yourself, before doing anything hasty that might hurt the other person.

It does not envy – You and the other person is a team now. A team member doesn't say to the other team member, "Hey! Last night I scored more points than you" or "How come you always get the better T-shirt?" Team members don't compete with each other or get jealous of each other (e.g. what each person has accomplished or how much money that person earned) because at the end it's about the team.

It does not boast – "See how much I've done for you lately?" is NOT the best thing to say to a love one if you want help or concessions. Not only boasting is practically bad, it's bad on principle [see what I mentioned above about "vending machine love"]

It is not proud – When you love someone you treat him or her as an equal (parent-child notwithstanding). When you want something, you can ask an equal instead of commanding an underling.

It does not dishonor others – We all know it's way easier said than done, but flinging insults and insinuations only serve to drive people apart. You do not "win" an argument or a shouting contest. Love and respect goes together.

It is not self-seeking – Again, love is for the benefit of the other. What you seek is not you but the wellness of the other. Love often involves sacrifice.

It is not easily angered – When you get angry, what you can easily forget is the fact that you two are supposed to be one team instead of one person going "against" this other person. Do not forget that the two of you are supposed to stand together, be patient toward one another, and also...

It keeps no record of wrongs – Forgive one another of wrong and slights (perceived or otherwise; It takes communication to figure out and smooth out misunderstandings. Again, this takes work; To just be upset takes no work but it only leads to harm. Even working out an apology takes work!)

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth – If and when you notice something is really amiss with the other person, you would have to lovingly and patiently correct him or her. Just standing by and let the other person self-destruct or others-destruct is not what one would define "freedom". Be patient, be kind, listen, but also be not afraid to speak out. Silence only isolates and separates.

It always protects – It is also your job to protect your loved ones, including slights and slander, whether coming from other people or even from yourself.

Always trusts - How well can a team function when you can't trust each other? Give the benefit of the doubt, forgive, and work to build trust.

Always hopes, always perseveres – Don't give up the first moment something goes wrong. I know this is a broken record by now but love takes work and patience. For love to last, there must be perseverance and hope.

| | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

Memetics is a sham model. It does not reflect reality. Memetics assumes boundaries around memes where there is NONE. There is no real boundary because how each supposed meme is "seen" by each mind is subjective in nature. Pseduo-science. "Memeticists" can pump out all kinds of numbers based on this sham model.

Post A Comment | | Flag | Link

| | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

There's something brain-dead about automation. It is the process in which intellect is REMOVED from tasks, and not inserted. We are not competing intellectually with machines- We are competing with the removal of intellect.

Post A Comment | | Flag | Link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shmoo

"After it came out both the left and the right attacked the Shmoo," according to publisher Denis Kitchen. "Communists thought he was making fun of socialism and Marxism. The right wing thought he was making fun of capitalism and the American way. Capp caught flak from both sides. For him it was an apolitical morality tale about human nature... I think [the Shmoo] was one of those bursts of genius. He was a genius, there's no question about that."

Post A Comment | | Flag | Link

| | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

Kruger and Dunning set out to test these hypotheses on Cornell undergraduates in various psychology courses. In a series of studies, they examined the subjects' self-assessment of logical reasoning skills, grammatical skills, and humor. After being shown their test scores, the subjects were again asked to estimate their own rank, whereupon the competent group accurately estimated their rank, while the incompetent group still overestimated their own rank. As Dunning and Kruger noted,

Across four studies, the authors found that participants scoring in the bottom quartile on tests of humor, grammar, and logic grossly overestimated their test performance and ability. Although test scores put them in the 12th percentile, they estimated themselves to be in the 62nd.

Meanwhile, people with true ability tended to underestimate their relative competence. Roughly, participants who found tasks to be relatively easy erroneously assumed, to some extent, that the tasks must also be easy for others.

Post A Comment | | Flag | Link

| | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

It doesn't matter who the heck you vote for, everything stays the same.

http://www.businessinsider.com/super-rich-win-the-fiscal-cliff-battle-2013-1

All those left wing / right wing protests? Didn't make a dent of course. Tea Party? Was that at somebody's house? Occupy Wall Street? Was that a concert? Who knows, who cares...

Never gonna waste my time voting again

3 Comments | Post A Comment | | Flag | Link

| | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |

Great article.

http://jezebel.com/5903254/are-you-a-dick-on-purpose-or-were-you-just-born-that-way

"On the one hand, I think that moving our collective thinking away from "nurture" and closer to "nature" can benefit people who are vilified and marginalized for innate characteristics (high-five, gays!). But, on the other hand, "nature" can cut both ways—racists love to spin systemic social issues into innate characteristics (no high-five for you, eugenics), and I'm certainly not interested in forgiving assholishness on the basis of DNA. (And anyway, our broader goal should really be to render "nature vs. nurture" irrelevant—it shouldn't matter whether any person was "born" or "made" in any way, because people are people and people deserve respect.)

"I guess my point is, I don't care about your genetic code, nobody gets a free pass for being a dick. If your mom's a dick and your dad's a dick, maybe it's hard for you to not be a dick, but please, just TRY. That's your responsibility as a human. And if you even don't bother trying, then you, my friend, are a fucking dick."

Oh yes. Good point.

1 Comment | Post A Comment | | Flag | Link