Let it fall from my hands (original) (raw)

After Teresa died, almost seven years ago now, I consoled myself by listening to Neutral Milk Hotel's album "In the Aeroplane over the Sea". Now, I'm listening to VNV Nation, mostly their songs about lost love. It helps me dwell on my problems. As if....

Joe broke up with me a month ago. At least officially. It started years before that, but I was too blind, deaf, dumb and hard-headed to notice.

I really doubt that I'll find contentment until I have a new husband with a relationship that is truly what I imagined the last one to be. The big problem is that I doubt I have the motivation to do anything until that happens. Any eating, sleeping, activity or enjoyment of life I have right now is at the prodding of others. Who in their right mind would want a relationship with such a person?

I'm sure that my position is not impossible, and it's certainly not rare.

Check back in six months.