Fic: A word (Royai) (original) (raw)

Title: A word.
Characters/Pairings: Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye
Rating: PG
Word Count: 288
Summary: He knows it, but it's just a word, and he's not sure why he's so afraid to let it slip away.
Notes: God damn motherfucking otp.

Sometimes he’s afraid that he’s forgotten how to say her name.

It’s not as if he doesn’t remember it. His mind knows it just fine. It’s a word, a simple word, and he remembers saying it a hundred times before, but his mouth has forgotten. Whenever he sees her he can feel the sound struggling to escape his throat, but it snaps and mutates into grotesque new shapes before it can leave his lips and he hears “Lieutenant” when he’s sure he meant to say “Riza”.

And he's scared of how easy it's become; how automatic it is to translate her name; and he's frustrated and angry because he can't say four simple letters and he wonders what he's so afraid will happen if he says them. He tries to sound it out even when she's not there just to prove he can, but it never comes out the way he wants it to and maybe he's just saying it wrong.

He wonders how on earth it could be slipping away when it’s there, choking him, it’s on the tip of his tongue, just give him a minute, he knows this one, but the instant it hits him there’s no one around and he wonders what he was about to say.

It's not fair, he thinks, and it doesn't make sense, he knows, but no matter how hard he wants and tries and needs to say it it's too late. It's no more than a word on a piece of paper, four letters he doesn't recognize and he could probably say them if he wanted to but he's not quite sure what the point would be, anyway.

"Lieutenant"

Riza.

"Hawkeye"

Riza.

Sometimes he's afraid he'll forget it completely.