Sharing (original) (raw)

[Crossposted to my personal journal and friends-locked there]

OK, this is a "Requesting Advice" post.

Childminder had a dentist's appointment today, so instead of changing the complete day of childminding, I said I'd have both girls and work whilst I had them. Liesl then took over when she came back, giving me a good crack at the afternoon of work. Seeing how Tim is in a Pit Orchestra all this week, I'll be on my own every evening, so experience tells me I'll end up working then anyway...

My question is this: How do you deal with the question of sharing?

When Jared was a tiddler, I used to come down pretty heavily on the side of the Other Child (whoever that might be at the time), because that's pretty much what I *think* my parents did with me (Mum, if I'm wrong, I'd love your opinion!). I think it qualifies as "being nice to guests".

With Ellie at home with me most of the time, it isn't an issue that has come up much, but with the recent onset of 2ness, it's starting to rear it's ugly head. It is particularly noticeable when Ellie plays with our next-door neighbour, Evie. Now, she *loves* Evie, and Evie loves her. They cuddle, skip together and hold hands for no apparent reason. Evie is a year older, so I *assume* that she's a bit more canny.

It was open warfare today! Ellie was pulling at Evie's clothing to try and get her away from the toy in question, every toy was only wanted when the other person had possession of it, and at one noteable moment, Ellie scratched Evie (not on purpose, it was a combination of all-in-wrestling and clothes pulling with a rough fingernail).

I ended up taking Ellie upstairs and putting her in her cot to calm down as she was just *awful*! Now this is a child who apologises to cats for walking too quickly for them to keep up (Thoo walks to heel!) and to adults for not holding hands. I don't get where this Jekyll and Hyde thing is coming from and I don't want to handle it in the wrong way.

How do you teach them to share? I seem to remember I just dealt with it on a case by case basis with Jared, and eventually he got it. I just wonder if there is a better way of dealing with it than taking the questionable toy away (which doesn't work too well, as every toy is questionable when another child has it).

Opinions sought!