promises (original) (raw)

I am amazed tonight, on the edge of what I can comprehend yet ready to embrace more, about my week and life and growth. I am in love with my relationships, and my intense emotions.

I apologize in advance that some of these phrases will be cryptic, and yet... consider them placeholders. Fill them with whatever intensity of emotion or moment of calm flashes or drifts into your mind and heart.

The tingling sharpness, relaxing excitement of whiskey or wine.

Confidence, pride, respect for myself: assurance of place amid the thoughtful, wise people I choose to surround me.

Sobs that felt like they pulled my heart clear through my ribs and spine.

Exultant, eager light-heartedness for creative love.

Astoundingly productive responses, from sparks of fiercely defending my perspective to the realization that I can surrender in apology. No need to fight for myself, simply acknowledging that I want to grow.

Excitement for the possibilities of retreat...space, time, reflection, satisfaction, soothing...yet sadness at stepping away from the life I have built.

All of this, intensely. Almost too intensely, tiringly. All of these feelings I don't think I named or welcomed, before. I welcome the growing sense of calm that I can claim my place as a woman, yet I will still walk amid the intensity and push into it.

What moments of intensity stay with you, from this week?

Also, I'm tending towards an intention of writing a reflective post once a week; that seems accessible. I have jury duty (!) mid-week, so next week's post might come out of that time sitting around. A possible topic is reflecting on a difficult interaction with a religious leader...

the audience: home

the feeling: grateful

the bard: Autumn in Amherst (internal)