F*CK Customers! (original) (raw)

i would've written this sooner, but i've been in a nyquil statement of mind lately. this all occurred early saturday morning. on the weekends, i don't have security, so it's just me. it was just before 5am, probably closer to 4:30am. this guy comes in wanting a room for the rest of the night. that's cool, i tell him that check out is at 11am and he said that was fine. i tell him he needed to be 21, have a valid ID, and a credit card. he said he was 21, showed his ID, and then said he had a debit card. i said that was fine, ran it, gave him the keys, and sent him on his way. now, i had already ran the audit and was actually folding bills at the moment of check in. so i had to go back and post rm and charge. no big deal. i needed to finish w/the bills so i could go deliver them. so i see dude coming through the lobby holding hands w/what is obviously a "working girl". i mean, it was painfully obvious. so i'm thinking, greeeeeaaaaaat......

well, i finish up w/the bills and start to head down the hall. i get towards the end of the hall and this lady pops her head out and was like, "um, some employee just came down this way and was blaring their music". i told her there was just me at the hotel and that i had just checked someone in (who happened to be next door to her) and they had just gotten in. i apologized for the music and she said went back inside.

i get back up to the desk and she calls. come to find out, it wasn't her, it was her "partner". o.k., cool. i'm all for equality, so why couldn't you just say it was your wife? why make it a point to stress to me that she's your partner. *sigh* whatever. so she says that they've got their music up fairly loud and they can hear it. "you've already talked to my partner and so far everything during this stay has been just awful...", blah, blah, blah. well while she's chomping at the bit, i pull the log book and their account to see that they've been here for 3 days and nothing has been logged that they've had issues or complaints about anything. claiming that the laundry machines are coming on all by themselves at 6:30 in the morning and that the employees are loud in the mornings. *egh* wtfe, lady. i tried to explain to her that there's only two employees in the ENTIRE hotel at the hour of 6:30 in the morning and that we are conveniently located right next to 2 air force bases, so what you're hearing is explosives and jets going off, etc. that wasn't good enough for her. finally i get her to stfu and get off the phone, so i call the other room. twice. no answer. not happy. i call the woman back and tell her i've called twice and that i'm really sorry and blah fucking blah.

she calls back a second time. *ding* round 2 has commenced. this time not only is their loud music keeping them up, but now it's a combination of that and their loud sex. *smacks forehead* great. the only thing running through my mind at the moment was, "at least they attempted to turn their music up". ha! anyway, she's all yelling at me on the phone and finally i told her, "i have no problem giving you a 100% guarantee for this evening and i'm sorry, but i was unaware that you had already experienced issues over the last few days, but now if you'd allow me to get off the phone, i'd really like to evict these people from my property....if that's o.k. w/you".....all w/a smile. *grins*

*grrr* so now i'm pissed. i had to issue a 100% and now i've lost business on my shift, on top of the fact that now i have to go boot this little bastard AND his hooker from my hotel. i'm a little territorial, so when it's my shift, it's my property b/c it's my responsibility. ya know? anyway, by this time, the breakfast lady is there so i grab her to join me in the ousting of said douche bag. we get down there and it takes dude for fucking ever to get to the door. he *finally* gets there and i tell him: "you have 10 minutes to get you and whoever else is in there, out, OR i call the cops and THEY will escort you out. make it happen." of course he was all compliant and not 10 minutes later, he comes back to the front desk (by himself, i could be guessing here, but i'm assuming the hooker went out the back door) to turn in the keys. both keys are there and as he's walking away we have the following conversation:

"by the way, don't ever come back here. ever."

"bu-but why?"

"b/c not only have you cost me money, but i've lost business b/c of you. not only that, but you forewent any warning that i tried to give you when i called your room twice and you didn't answer. so, don't. come. back. i will remember your face."

"well i didn't wanna stay here anyway!"

"right, you go w/that. next time go to a place that charges by the hour and save yourself the trouble. your MAMA!!!" the breakfast lady is JUST dying, but she's never seen me go off on someone before. she knows i can get crazy, but she's never really seen me in action. i never did hear back from the lesbian fem-nazis. if it didn't mean my job, i'd have told that bitch that if she was getting some actual DICK then she wouldn't be so fucking hard to please.

not only that, but i charged dude's card and flagged his account so he can't dispute the charges. *grins* yeah, that's how i roll.