Semi-Successfully Depriving Electrons of Entropy (original) (raw)
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May. 30th, 2015
08:53 pm - Verse
Blissful Storms
Feet above rain drums roof
Lightning flash
Thunder boom
Clock reads 3:30
Feet against soles
Belly touching back
Beard ruffling neck
Breathes exhaled against ear
Shift as lay back down
Hold hands of encircling arms
Quiet voice mumbles from behind
"Go back to sleep. I'm here."
Bliss
©2015. John P. Clizbe
Oct. 17th, 2013
06:30 pm - Today's Little Epiphany
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,..." -- Shakespeare, 'As You Like It', Act II, Scene 7
It is an irony I have found in this thing called life that, while it is the character who gains my attention, so much more often, it is the player himself who has the interesting story to tell.
May. 28th, 2013
04:04 pm - Smile!
Somewhere out in Str8 Amerika is a 6'9" blond Morman basketball-playing Whovian N00Bian who thinks a tattoo "we" would call a "TARDIS tramp-stamp" would be "A Good Idea™."
The only possible response to the tattoo would have to be "Is it? Is it REALLY?"
Current Location: 97.148510°W 32.681365°N
May. 3rd, 2013
01:39 am - Cats: 6, Mankind: 0
If faced with the decision t choose between a man and a cat for a companion, I think I'd choose the cat(s).
I've noticed a habit in the men I know that they only communicate with me when they want something. Advise, chat, what have you. If I call, they'll "Call you back"and never do. If I send email, i don't even get an acknowlegment that it was received.
On the other paw, the most desired spot for the cats is by my side. They don't ask for a lot, but seem to be happy without measure just to be next to me.
Current Location: 97.148510°W 32.681365°N 700ft ASL
Jul. 25th, 2012
05:04 am
Getting reacquainted with old friends
"...The greatest drug of all, my dear, was not one of those pills in so many colors that you took over the years, was not the opium, the hash that you smoked at houses on the beach, or the speed or smack you shot up in Sutherland's apartment, no, it wasn't any of these. It was the city, darling, it was the city, unreal city, the city itself. And do you see why I had to leave? As Santayana said, dear, artists are unhappy because they are not interested in happiness; they live for beauty. God, was that steaming, loathsome city beautiful!!! And why finally no human lover was possible, because I was in love with all men, with the city itself. And Malone was crazier than I. You could tell from his face how deep the disease has eaten into his system. The life of his flesh dwindled, but his spirit ascended like the angels into a perfect love--and yet he was still stuck with his mortal body and his mortal lusts and mortal loveliness: You can't live on the promise of a casual smile which passes while you sit on the stoop waiting for the breeze from the river--demented queen! You can't love eyes, my dear, you can't love youth, you can't love summer dusks that washed us out of our tenements into the streets like water falling over rocks--no, dear, madness that way lies. You must stick to earth, always, you must love another man or woman, a human lover whose farts occasionally punctuate the silence of your bedroom in the morning and who now and then has bad moods that must be catered to." -- Andrew Holleran, Dancer from the Dance. 1978.
Current Location: 97.148510°W 32.681365°N 650ft ASL
Jun. 29th, 2012
09:09 pm - Romney Mitt, the Demon Barber of Wall Street
| Attend the tale of Romney, MittThe bully in the bully pulpitHe's got your back like Norman BatesAnd he'd love to talk but the limo awaitsFor Romney, for Romney, MittThe Demon Barber of Wall...Street |
|---|
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Jun. 17th, 2012
07:39 pm - Kill da Wabbit! Kill da Wabbit!
Current Location: 97.148510°W 32.681365°N 650ft ASL
01:10 pm - ...You're Doing It Right!!!
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
10:51 am - All Kinds of Beautiful -- Todo Tipo de Bello
He is absolutely gorgeous and the combined iconography of the Orthodox church and La Día de los Muertos is wonderful.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
May. 12th, 2012
05:46 am - A Year
"How is it possible, after all, that someone should simply vanish? How can someone who lived, loved, and wrangled with God and himself just disappear? I don't know how and in what sense but they're here. Since time is an illusion, why shouldn't everything remain?"
— Issac Beshevis Singer, Shosha.
"But now I know in my heart what before I understood only in my head: We don't fall in love for reasons. This is the source of love's meaning and our obsession with it. In an age where every phenomenon is assumed to have an explanation, love keeps us human; love taps us into mystery, into that which we can't control or explain: love, and grief.
"To love is to willingly lower our defenses, a terrifying prospect in any time and place but especially so at a time and in a place where we perceive ourselves as having so much to defend ourselves against. To love is to give oneself over to another, to entrust to someone else a power that all good sense would have us reserve to ourselves. So we give away some part of ourselves, to find that part returned to us tenfold, in ways we never could have predicted and cannot rationally understand. Loaves and fishes. Miracles happen."
"I love better now, more wholly and completely, not because I have learned some exotic technique but because I know death."
— Fenton Johnson, Geography of the Heart.
Thank you, BooBoo, for the years and the unlimited love. I love you, Yogi.
One year ago this morning:
Post #1 Post #2
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
May. 11th, 2012
12:00 am - Do Not F**K with Project Maintainers for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Tabasco
-------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [Sks-devel] Debian binary replacement Date: Thu, 10 May 2012 23:25:20 -0500 From: John Clizbe Reply-To: sks-devel To: sks-devel
Sebastian Urbach wrote:
Hi,
The subject says it all. Please consider the readme file.
Quoting from the above: ( LART-Hammer of Thor behind cutCollapse )
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
May. 9th, 2012
04:00 pm
Damn allergic rhinitis. My nose is running like a coke fiend.
Time for the NasaCortAQ and Astelin.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
04:03 am - Well, F**K
The friend I was going to spend this weekend with just sent me an IM on Yahoo canceling out until Memorial Day weekend.
I sure hope my doc calls in that Klonopin refill or I'm going to have to rely on Vicodin and Vodka.
Strangely I've had a sense of foreboding he was going to cancel since last week when we set this up.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
May. 4th, 2012
09:28 pm - The Final Week Until Hell Day.
Just a week to go until it will be May 12th again.
Those so inclined light a candle, say prayers that the day will pass without too great a level of pain and grief.
It's been pretty stressful since Easter.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Apr. 10th, 2012
02:28 am - What do you get when you combine 70s porn, political sex scandals, and lots of choreography?
In today's unpredictable political polls, sometimes you're on the top, sometimes you're on the bottom.
Are ready to have a candidate you can really get behind?
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Current Mood: 
giggly
Apr. 9th, 2012
07:02 pm - More Intake of Chocolate May Yield Lower Body Mass Index
More Intake of Chocolate May Yield Lower Body Mass Index
Clinical Context
Chocolate appears to have a beneficial role in blood pressure and insulin sensitivity, according to Grassi and colleagues in the March 2005 issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, and in cholesterol levels, according to Allen and colleagues in the April 2008 issue of the Journal of Nutrition. However, the benefit of chocolate intake might be offset by the caloric intake.
This cross-sectional study by Golomb and colleagues assesses whether the frequency of chocolate intake is associated with body mass index (BMI).
Study Synopsis and Perspective
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
02:50 am - The Year Is Almost Over
Survived Easter. Last Easter was the last time David and were able to speak to each other, the last time he got to say "I love you, Yogi." He told me to come back up to the rehab Wednesday, but Tuesday he was having trouble breathing and was sent to the ER and transferred to ICU. On oxygen, he couldn't really speak and it was within a couple days he was intubated and sedated.
I guess the association was too much. I avoided chocolate bunnies, replenishing my jelly bean supply (most only available this time of year), even M&Ms -- all the things David used to buy for me.
Now I just have that dread date in May left to face. It's a few days after the same event for Bear, so maybe we can help each other through together.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Apr. 4th, 2012
07:49 pm - 18 Most Manly Fonts
Click image for more
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Mar. 7th, 2012
04:30 pm - If Facebook was around during WW II
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Jan. 20th, 2012
04:19 pm - Food Porn: Recipe Found
(Click to be transported to the recipe)
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Jan. 19th, 2012
06:11 pm - Food Porn: Sin. It's As Easy As 1 - 2 - 3!!!
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
05:26 pm - Hell with the BBQ Sauce -- The 'Chef' Is Smokin' Hawt
Click to enlarge
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Jan. 1st, 2012
06:38 pm - Best Fortune Cookie
Last night's Fortune Cookie: "Now is the time to set your sights high and go for it"...
We did :-)
Dec. 11th, 2011
02:42 am
at night with bear
we spoon fingers lace soft light glows ginger moustache I smile peacefully you sleep
sonorous breathing finger traces ripple back fur contentment whispered
strong arms cradle chest waxed whiskers nuzzle neck soft heartbeats souls smile
Dec. 10th, 2011
06:49 pm - A Screaming Comes Across the Sky...
Ha wa Ri ni katazu, Ri wa Ho ni katazu, Ho wa Ken ni katazu, Ken wa Ten ni katazu.
Injustice cannot conquer Principle, Principle cannot conquer Law, Law cannot conquer Power, Power cannot conquer Heaven.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Nov. 29th, 2011
08:32 pm - Bar Troubleshooting
Symptom: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear. Problem: Glass empty. Action Required: Find someone who will buy you another beer.
Symptom: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, and the front of your shirt is wet. Fault: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face. Action Required: Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror. Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Nov. 28th, 2011
10:50 pm - I Want This Lamp
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Nov. 14th, 2011
01:00 am - My Insomnia Explained
Hypnos and Morpheus are rumored to be in a triad with Dionysus and are spending all their free time at Bear Runs on the Aegean.
Get Back to Work You Two.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Nov. 13th, 2011
11:10 pm - Cowboy Haiku -- Reflections on Rodeo
So many Cowboys.
Taut Wrangler butts drive me nuts.
Never enough rope.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Nov. 12th, 2011
07:59 pm - The Bear 411 Drinking Game
Inspired by my FB post...
The Bear 411 Drinking Game:
- Take a shot every time you see a picture of a household pet elevated to child replacement status.
- Take a shot every time you see a picture taken in a mirror with a visible mobile phone.
- Take a shot every time you read the phrase "I don't bite...hard!"
- Take a shot every time you see a photo taken, inexplicably, in the driver's seat of a car.
- ...
Readers?
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Nov. 3rd, 2011
09:31 pm - So... Last Night...
I see his headlamps show up in the driveway, pop out the back door, pluck a convenient(ly preselected) rose from one of the bushes and climb in his car.
He had me at "Awww, thank you. Wow, you're even cuter in person."
Wonderful pizza dinner where we talked for a couple hours. Then we talked and snogged in my driveway for bit over 90 minutes.
All in all... A WONDERFUL first date. I look forward to the second.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Nov. 2nd, 2011
12:34 am - Random Día de los Muertos/All Saints Day thought...
I was downstairs shaving, that's my entire head except for mustache and goatee, and I recalled the first time I did it. It was close to this date in 1998. The next morning at work, I was my typical stoic self, and one of the PC guys stopped at my door and flippantly asked, "Going for the Macho Daddy look?"
I looked over at him and swiveled my chair so I was looking him directly in his eyes and very quietly said, "My father has Stage 4 lung cancer. He'll be lucky to see his 65th birthday. The chemo is making his hair fall out. Anything else you care to ask?" I turned back to my Sun and went back to reading the previous night's email.
Until then, I had only seen that color of ashen face on the Dead.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Oct. 19th, 2011
05:25 pm - Flowchart Guides Readers Through the 100 Best SF Books
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Oct. 8th, 2011
11:39 pm - QotD
"One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know." -- John Kenneth Galbraith
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
03:25 am
New BF?
Someone to date regularly?
Maybe MORE later?
Watch this space.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Oct. 7th, 2011
01:51 pm - Bohr-ing Quotes
Niels Bohr was born at Copenhagen on this day in 1885. His genius was challenged by his physiologist father, and he entered a competition from the Academy of Sciences to solve a scientific problem - his paper was published in 1908 and won the gold medal. He received his Masters in Physics from Copenhagen University in 1911, his Doctorate in 1913, and the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1922. He taught both in England and in Denmark until WW II. He found work and homes for many Jewish physicists who escaped to Denmark, then went to the US where he worked on the Manhattan Project. He was one of the physicists who campaigned for peace after seeing what the atomic bomb was capable of. His comments on life are filled with non sequiturs and charmingly border on the oxymoronic.
No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical.
Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.
How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.
A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself.
Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.
It is not enough to be wrong, one must also be polite.
The meaning of life consists in the fact that it makes no sense to say that life has no meaning.
All from Niels Bohr, 1885 - 1962
Oct. 6th, 2011
02:16 pm - Perfect. The Eternal Flame.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Oct. 4th, 2011
03:36 pm - Best Birthday Present I Could Wish For
I've been waiting for a copy of this image since it was taken late last September. Today a package arrived with a Kodak Picture Disc and a framed 8x10 of the image. It's the last pic I know of with both David and me.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Oct. 3rd, 2011
04:02 am - The Weekend and the Visitation (Dream)
Laid down about 5PM. crashed hard, not sure if it was a bug or what. woke up at one, pillow soaked with sweat.
With less than 0° 39' 54" of arc left for a complete solar transit, I guess I can look myself in the mirror and sing:
Happy half-a century! Happy half-a century! Happy half-a century HAPPY HALF a CENTURY!!! to me :-)
Yes, a REAL semi-centenarian. The Big 50. It was a truly Phenomenal weekend with David visiting this morning. The weekend was made truly unforgettable with the help of my wonderful friend, Chris. Despite looking like it was going to an incredibly sucky weekend, Chris rescued me Saturday and we spent an afternoon out at the lake relaxing with just the sounds of nature. Came back, took showers and shared making a great taco salad (recuerdas mi hermano, la próxima vez para incluir: Mezzetta Tamed Jalapeños y rodajas negro aceitunas.
David kept his promise and delivered something truly special and unexpected for my 50th: blessings, reassurance, and release. David came by this morning. I was in that 1/2 awake-1/2 dream state from falling back to sleep after we decided to skip church and sleep in. He told me he didn't need to worry about me, it looked like I had good friends looking out for me. I thought I felt someone sit down on the foot of the bed and shake my foot a bit to roust me, like Dave used to do. Then his voice, "John? Yogi? John-John?
"You've cried enough baby bear, I know it still hurts. I wish I could have told you those final three minutes in the ICU but my heart was too week. You were there you said goodbye and cried like I had never seen you. Same thing at the fUNREAL home (I love that term of yours - told you it would be.) You've cried all summer every time you think of me. "The management" had me come keep a closer eye on you when W.D. died, what a horrible way to go. You're one strong SOB and incredibly strong emotional heart, do you know that John-John? I guess the still waters running deep is true about you - lesser men would have crumpled. I think you're beginning to feel some of your gifts. Take it slow. Ah yes, the INFJ-INFP axis? They wanted to wait until they saw the empathy growing and evolving before letting you figure out those two, From what I've seen, you're great in that Counselor-Healer role. No it wasn't a setup at all, been on your path from the beginning. What's it you always say, "We're here for a reason." Trust me, you are. You'll make me proud.
"Who's the guy cuddled up next to you? Ah a "close friend", your marvelous gift for understatement. (*cough-cough* I was here all night, huney OK? Great show. He's got a cute butt.) Although, he's not in or for "The Spot" is he? Ok, I see, don't let romance mess up a great friendship. Great idea. Good, you need a couple like him to fill that empty hole in your soul, sorry for that. I can see you two are incredibly close. What's that? That spark and "For Ever" connection? It's real and you guys were right, it wasn't coincidence. You'll figure out what is was for later. "When the pupil is ready, the Master will appear." LOL That was my Rose Fong voice, I've been waiting to use it. Your other friend Del also is close to you. You've got a great start with these two, < href="http://www.gingerbear.net//Ring_Model_of_Friendship.html">Ring 0 and Ring 1, huh? Then they are special, Good! They both care a lot for you. I know you can relax and let the pain out with these two if you need to, been watching from a distance.
"You got a great start. You'll build more friends, I watch you. YES, trust your instincts you've gotten excellent since my departure. You pick good candidates, but they're not always ready on their end, like that guy from last week. LOL offer him everything he's been complaining about not having and he freaks because he's not orchestrating, Yeah F**king good luck with that with you - You WILL NOT be scripted. Some old friends may or may not return. I wish I could tell you about Cameron & Greg. I know they never met the real you in '99. When you got better, that was late 2002 as I recall and you weren't fully OK for a couple more years. Give them time. Call Randy if you need him. Ditto Arnie.
"John-John it's OK to let go now, not forget, but let go. I'm never not going to be a part of you. I'll always be in your heart and your memories. Baby, it's time. Quit beating yourself up with shoulda, woulda, coulda, The endocarditis was far too advanced when they first admitted me for pneumonia. Quit being afraid of falling in love. You have so many people who care about and love you, I'm not sure how many want to date you for a chance at more. They saw us, they hope it can be repeated with you. Yeah I know, you need someone who can do good Italian, but hey the seafood ban is off, you can do your lobster, crab, scallops, shrimp lasagna. You now where the recipes are. Saw your last few cobblers...WOW, the BSA would NEVER recognize their old recipes. What did you call that one? Dr.Marty Pavelka's Caribbean Rum Apple-Pear Cobbler? Heavens that smelt wonderful. Keeping that base and switching to Bourbon, Peaches, and other spices made that a hit too. Damn, 20 guys ate two full Dutch ovens of cobbler? You the man, Yogi.
"John-John, most precious man of my life, it's OK to go out and start living again. I'm not gone, I'm still with you, just in a different form. I'll always still be with you.
Happy 50th Birthday, Baby Bear, from Daddy Cub Dave. Do me a favor, Keep the Faith for me. May you have an easy fast in two weeks."
LOL, nice hint Davey. Yes, I'll follow it. I found a great Ghandi quote yesterday, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” I know, atonement is a two-way street.
I woke up with tears in my ears. My friend asked "What's wrong?" "David was here. He told me a lot. Thank you for being too tired to race to church. It wouldn't have happened had we got up. Thank you, Bubba."
Those who wish to wish, wish away,
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Sep. 12th, 2011
03:09 pm - It's Recipe Contest Time my dear Bearthren:
Let's discuss everybear's favorite topic: dessert.
OK, last month's Bourbon Peach Cobbler was a huge hit, only dessert where I thought they licked the pan. I'm going to repeat that one, but tune the spices.
What I'd like to do, to slow the locusts that always hit my desserts, is to do another cobbler, but this time with rum. Any ideas?
Pineapple/coconut making a Piña Colada Cobbler seems almost too obvious.
Your ideas? Only rule, rum must be baked into the recipe, no adding afterward.
Comments screened until I get a winner.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Sep. 10th, 2011
03:33 am - So I Write...
When my David died, I had the benefit of being able to go into shock over the weekend and shelter my feelings for a couple days. Today caught me totally off guard, although as soon as I heard Terry's messages, I knew. I wasn't ready for it, but I knew. If things had been OK, David would have called me himself. Now I'm staggering in both shock and grief.
Both Jims gone, both Davids gone, Mike#1 gone. Michael #2 , Craig, and Bucky are all I have left. The more I need the memories to persist the quicker they seem to become fleeting and fade away from me. So I write, not for you, but for me.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Current Music: Turtle Creek Chorale - Looking Forward
Sep. 9th, 2011
11:05 pm - Awwww, Dammit.. I Was Just Making Progress on the Last One.
Went down to get some more iced tea, Mom tells me theres a message on the downstairs machine for me, "Terry something, Mills I think (Red flag raised)." Terry is my ex's WD's partner of eleven years. Cleaned out the queue of new messages. Just 'This is Terry Mills, David Walls friend (Dammit he knows to use partner). I'm calling for John Clizbe, if he could give me a call at NPA-NXX-XXXX,' Same thing for two days.
My sense of foreboding just pegged. Something is definitely not good. I talked to David about a month ago, he was telling me about having colon cancer. I said something at the time and ever optimistic WD replied, "No hurry. I'll be around here for a while still." I came back upstairs, took a couple Xanax, waited 30 minutes and called. Skipped 'Hello' and went right to 'Terry, What's wrong?
©2000 John P. Clizbe
W. David Walls. 13 Dec 1956 - 6 Sep 2011
John & WD - 11 May 1989 - 11 May 1999.
The first 7 years were very good.
Taken 12 Apr 2000. He knew I was leaving TX in a couple weeks and asked me to take some pictures of him that he could use online. I found them while sorting through a bunch of old floppies. The two photo frames on either side of the mantle clock: me on the left, my David on the right.
I remember our meeting. I had escaped the hospital in time to shower and eat dinner before meeting some friends for a TGRA fundraiser at Fort Worth's 651. I fell in instant lust the first time I saw him. He disappeared to go down the street to meet a date but got stood up, so he came back. Bought him a beer. And the rest, they say, is history.
Things went well for abut the first seven years then a black cloud of depression settled upon him, it was depression mixed with bipolar behavior and violent rages. At friends urging, he finally got treatment, but it was over for me. I had weathered all the storms I could and had moved on to David #2, in fact those abusive bouts of rage would be the basis of my own PTSS melt-down a few months later. David #2 got me through that one alive.
From what I did keep up, after getting on medication, both he and Terry were successful apartment complex managers up to the time he got sick and could no longer work. then Terry cut his hours and eventually quit to take care of David full time (Lord, this sounds familiar). A fever Monday sent him to the hospital,Trouble breathing brought intubation and sedation. Tuesday afternoon, heartrate and BP were all over the chart, he was coding. David had worked in enough nursing homes, he didn't want to be hooked to a machine to live. Sometime around 2:00, Terry told them they could stop CPR.
My two Davids, W. David Walls and David Keith Nichols, the sources of happiness in my life for the past twenty-two years gone. Gone in a space of less than four months. February was the garage/office/woodshop/panrty/and storage area burning along with my 74 MGB and 78 VW Bug. Dear God, what a trying year this has been.
At least I got plenty of practicing keening in the last few months.
Goodbye, my Bubba and Goodbye my little BooBoo. I know you're both in a better place and no longer in pain. Dubby, I tried, but would you teach David how to make a decent Chicken Fried Steak?"
May they with the faithful departed rest in peace and rise in GLORY. May light perpetual shine upon them. +++"
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Current Mood: 
sad
Sep. 7th, 2011
11:12 pm - This season Glee goes to New Orleans for Labor Day before school starts.
This season Glee goes to New Orleans for Labor Day before school starts.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
09:29 pm - T-Shirt Time
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Sep. 6th, 2011
11:01 pm - Bastrop, TX
(Click image for map)
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Sep. 5th, 2011
06:18 pm - Getting There... Acceptance.
I Shall Miss Loving You
I shall miss loving you.
I shall miss the Comfort of your embrace.
I shall miss the
Loneliness of waiting for the
calls that never came.
I shall miss the Joy of your comings,
and the Pain of your goings
and,
after a time,
I shall miss
missing
loving
you.
Shame there's not a TCC recording online. I'll look and see if I can find an MP3. It was like being wrapped in the arms of an old old friend listening to this. Why not? So many friends are members or past members.
I'm getting there. It's still painful at times. I have good friends who help make it hurt less.
And one very good friend who shared my getting to this point.
I've loved. I've lost. I am still living. I am still loved.
[Edit: m4a/AAC (3.68 MB)]
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Sep. 2nd, 2011
12:17 pm - How it all began
I've told this story to friends, but don't recall telling in in a post. (I may have, I just don't recall.)
Tuesday before Thanksgiving, 1999. I had taken a week off to go out and visit David. Got into SNA early afternoon, dropped things at his apt, and went out wandering the mall nearby (South Coast Plaza, for those in SoCA) before dinner. Had a wonderful meal at fantastic seafood place complete with a bottle of champagne to celebrate my freedom from the pyscho ex and finally making it out to OC to visit my best friend (& LD FB), David.
Later, when we got back to the apt, we walked out on the porch to watch the lakes and listen to the water that flowed through the complex. I walked up behind David, put my arms around him by placing them over his shoulders, leaned down and put my chin on his shoulder, and asked, "Dave, you think we'd ever make it as a couple?" He leaned his head back to look at me and simply said, "Yep." Best.Night.of.My.Life.
David had already made plans for us for the weekend in Palm Springs, so that turned out to be our unofficial honeymoon (Room had a kitchen, we didn't have to leave to eat *evil grin*, but did on a couple occasions.). The real honeymoon came the next October, with 12 days on Oahu.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Sep. 1st, 2011
11:08 am
Successfully moved clothes into the 'other' dresser without 'incident'. I guess the card got a lot of it out of my system.Left the stuff of David's that's only one size too small until I see how long it'll take to lose the rest of the weight for them to fit. May just box them into the garage depending on how the rest of the rearranging goes.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
Aug. 30th, 2011
08:43 pm - Deep Slow Breaths and Let the Klonopin Do Its Job
Still wiped out from last night's card from David find. Got up normally today, but was exhausted by 10:30. Gave up and crawled in bed with a teddy bear. Got back up at 5:30 feeling sort of normal.
Current Location: 32.68140166°N 97.14843°W 578ft ASL
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