I am very inappropriate (original) (raw)

Hi. I haven't been around much. I had jury duty part of the time. It was actually kind of interesting, to tell the truth. Thankfully it was a civil case and I didn't have to hear anything too gory. A former employee of a check cashing place here in Tucson was suing for wrongful termination. It's kind of complicated in Arizona because we're a right to work state, which means you can leave a job any time you want for no reason or any reason, and they can fire you any time they want for no reason or any reason, except an unlawful reason. For example, they can't fire somebody for getting married or divorced, they can't fire somebody for alerting the authorities of criminal activity taking place within the company, etc.

The former employee was suing under the whistleblower clause because he'd alerted higher management that the company was passing counterfeit $100 bills. The company said they fired him because he intimidated other employees and created an uncomfortable working environment. It was awesome watching the company's state director on the stand. He looked like Mickey Rourke trying to impersonate Michael Rosenbaum trying to impersonate Zoolander. It was so fucking funny, the ways his eyebrows moved over his shaved head like they were sentient. Plus, he lied a lot. Like, ridiculous lies that he had no reason to tell except he maybe just wanted to lie on the stand. His story flipped around more times than his eyebrows. There's a tiny paragraph about the trial here if you want to read it.

And tomorrow's my day off, finally, which of course means I'm going in to work for 8 hours. Because one of the women I work with, well, let's just say either she seriously needs to go in and get her immune system checked out, or she's faking sick again. She's sick at least once a month. Nobody gets serious colds and bronchitis once a month. It's really, really starting to piss me off because, seriously? She gets to be a drama queen and moan about how she's dying and make everyone scramble to cover for her and I think she just loves the attention. So she gets her attention and to stay home and play the poor little princess, and I get to work on my day off. Awesome.

And I didn't kill anyone tonight, though I seriously considered getting a cattle prod. Not to hurt anybody just, you know, to urge them on when they need to hustle. Because when I say, "Hey, I need you on register right now," I don't mean, "You should really stay back here scrubbing that one dish for another five minutes."