Bruce's journal (original) (raw)

From: "James Rennison"
To: "Trash"
Subject: Pants Crisis

Dear Trashers,

I need your pants! Poor Susan has packed her bag for a weekend of Frisbee throwing in Bristol, but due to an unfortunate oversight has forgotten to pack any pants!

Can anyone with a spare pair of size 8 pants please hand them in at my desk. Together we may be able to spare this poor woman from going commando all weekend.

Thank you for your time, sympathy and, most importantly, pants,

Jim.

Self-Proclaimed Floor 5 Undies Secretary.

From: "Susan Luke"
To: "James Rennison", "Trash"
Subject: RE: Pants Crisis

I'll also be needing an extra pair to string up JR by his testicles for causing me such embarrassment.

From: "James Rennison"
To: "Trash"
Subject: Re: Pants Crisis - An Apology

I would like to publicly apologise for high-lighting Susan's pant related problems in such a public forum. Apparently her cry for help was intended for me alone and I have unintentionally betrayed a confidence.

I trust you will all put from your minds this awful situation and will resist the urge to raise it in conversation with friends and family or on radio chat shows.

I will, of course, return all the pants so generously supplied, to their respective owners. Except for Neil's which I intend to wear on my head.

Jim.

PS. I should have mentioned that I was only looking for clean pairs of pants, but the thought was much appreciated.