100. Apple's new on-line music service sold over a million songs in its first week of operation, stunning industry analysts. Some critics say that the number is overinflated; to quote one, "The five-hundred thousand times Aaron Bleayart downloaded 'I Touch Myself' shouldn't count." (original) (raw)

58.) Pop diva Celine Dion recently took the stage in Las Vegas, starting a three year run that will include performances 5 nights a week 40 weeks a year until 2006. The Bush Administration has given her 48 hours to leave before they start bombing.

59.) For a contest sponsored by the Aerospace Industries Association, several high school students built a rocket that reached the height of 1,500 feet while towing two raw-eggs and then parachuted the eggs back to earth unbroken. "It's not as easy as it looks" said one NASA official.

60.) Madonna will reportedly release a new music video that will protest the US war in Iraq. Ironically, it will add one more horrible bomb to America's arsenal..

61.) A Pennsylvania lawmaker wants to rename a bridge in Pittsburgh "The Fred Rodgers Memorial Bridge", after the late children's show host.... So children who grew up watching Mister Rodger's Neighborhood can kill themselves by jumping off his bridge. OR Legislation is still pending on "Snuffaluffigus Memorial Hospital"

62.) A Southwest Florida community hospital says it will no longer deliver babies. It will, however, still offer babies for takout or eating in.

63.) A man was arrested in Florida after sending a minor naked pictures of himself, then showing up at her house with two condoms and a lint brush. The man has been charged with imitating shekb.

64.) The TIVO company has reported that the most paused moment of the Oscars was Julia Roberts' entrance, while the most replayed segment was Michael Moore's acceptance speech. Also, TIVO reports that your roommate secretly gets a boner every time they show Denzel Washington.

65.) According to an Austrailian newspaper, much of the country's electricity may soon come from pig poop. In a related story, American scientists are looking into getting power from Bush's foreign policy.

66.) A Boston high school teacher has been suspended after he allegedly brought a dead coyote to school earlier this month and skinned it in front of his students. It was part of a class entitled "How to scare the fuck out of your students".

67.) Seattle police are wondering how thieves managed walk off wearing 300 pairs of women's undergarmets while the store was open. I'll tell you how: Practice, practice, practice. I'm practicing right now.

68.) According to reports, a brawl between two male exotic dancers ended in tragedy after one of them hit the other one with his car. Said one official, "this is why cockfights are illegal".

69.) Last week Federal investigators discovered that the Energy Department sold 23 trucks for 17 cents and a $9,000 copier for a nickel, among other things. The Energy Department explained that it was all stuff that The Justice Department had left at their place before they broke up.

70.) A Wisconson man recently passed a milestone after ingesting his 19000th Big Mac. Shortly thereafter, he passed another milestone into the toilet

71.) In a recent Rolling Stone interview, Lisa Marie Pressly admits to having sex with Michael Jackson "for a while" during their marriage... In a related story, I can no longer acheive an erection.

72.) Critics of the female teenage pop duo "Tatu" say that the girls' music is only popular because the two are lesbians and make out in their videos. In their defense, one fan said "They make music?".