Creative Vomit (original) (raw)
Thu, Dec. 19th, 2013, 02:42 pm
THE POEM IS IN THE SECOND PARAGRAPH OF THIS BLOG. HERE IS A COMMENTARY FIRST
Contrary to my incredibly infrequent and rather streaky posting track record of the last couple of years, I do still love blogging and hope this trend of mine becomes a habit once again. For now, I'll just by posting my latest poem, "Movie Poem". The poem is meant to attack who I consider the two most unjustly profitable filmmakers of recent times and perhaps ever, Jason Friedberg Aaron Seltzer. For those you who do not know who they are, allow me to enlighten you as they certainly don't deserve and "positive" fame. Friedberg and Seltzer are most know for all the films in the "Scary Movie" franchise. So if you see any detestable, lazy parody to come out in the last 15 years, it is a good bet they were largely or exclusively involved in its writing. If the word "Movie" is at the end of the title, it's an essentially suicidal bet they were not involved at all. Actually, I don't think they were involved in "Not Another Teen Movie", but that's the only exception, I believe. Anyway, I have long enjoyed ripping on them to the point at which many of my friends are likely tired of hearing me complain about them, but it is fun to attack them as commentary on all sort of reprehensible issues to be taken with these two morons still getting work. I mean their films are all hated by virtually every source of reviews from professional critics to imdb and or rotten tomatoes bloggers. And yet, no matter how etrocious the reviews to Date Movie were, someone still invested in Epic Move; no matter how abominable the reviews were to that and its follow-ups such as Dance Flick, Disaster Movie, or Vampires Suck, their low-budget films continued making profits and thus the two remained employed. A couple of years ago however, their vulnerability proved to finally appear when some studios who were originally stupid to green light a 3D parody the two idiots wanted to make; but the producers evidently realized that funding a 3D film would cost more than the income of previous Friedberg/Seltzer films had indicated this one would make. The studio therefore, canned it. Friedberg and Seltzer therefore got Ketchup Films (yes, that's the studio's real name) to fund, "The Starving Games". And how did that do? Well it came out last month and it is already entirely viewable on youtube. Maybe their incompetence has finally caught up with them.
AND NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, "MOVIE POEM"
Shall I compare ye two to purest souls
Of those whose immortal words fill us whole
For ages to cherish each sacred page
Of storytelling from that of a sage?
Or shall I compare thee to something less
Like to a lobotomized worm at best?
For thou, not quite the truest men of heart
Whose eloquent humor sounds like a “fart”
Of human clichés brought unto the screen
Aimed to appear as shockingly obscene
And perhaps shocking to those pure of brains
With so little their craniums contain
More air than cells to use to give a fuck
For you to so unjustly make a buck
Oh dear Sam Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Where far art thou cinema turds occur?
Deny one hit film and take less credit
And ever shall thy names be linked to shit
For thou two souls who think that just because
A trend has earned any pop-culture buzz
‘Tis worthy of a lazy parody
Called “SOMETHING” followed by the word, “MOVIE”
With screenplays stolen from each written source
You mock with your recycled jokes of course
‘Cause G-d forbid a joke that either one
Of you thought up; slapstick, or just a pun
‘Stead of over-the-top imitations
In each of your anemic creations
Upon a 96th year came that May
The first to start your dynasty to stay
When billboards showed the boxers of Leslie
Thus we all thought Naked Gun 4 we’d see
But alas! For ‘twas the first time you scarred
Parody’s name when you showed us “Spy Hard”
And yet the Wayans brothers thought that you
Were perfect to help bring a franchise new
Therefore, 4 years passed when there came to be
The first to start the trend, “Scary Movie”
A generally popular release
To audiences who were frequently pleased
And all the fans who’d yet to have enough
Knew not what challenging roads to come rough
What reprehensibilities did wait?
When suffrage meant one Scary Movie’s fate
Of each sequels so inevitable, yet
Unnecessary except for to get
Greater joys of unethical riches
From suckers as the studios’ bitches
But would one sequel satisfy the senses
Of mercenary masters of offenses?
Or were you doomed to feel we’d mindlessly
Succumb to pay for Scary Movie 3?
Wouldst thou dirt champs insult us anymore
With genius films like Scary Movie 4?
I beg you not deem this franchise alive
Still after making Scary Movie 5!
If the “Scary Movie” sequels were all
You’d done to lead to your critical fall
Perhaps I would let you two off the hook,
But after all the profits you both took
From film goers and studios alike
‘Tis time your souls went on a Hell-bound hike
But then, I guess the trailer was enough
To confirm, “Date Movie” was the same stuff
To contaminate our brains when we’d see
That rubbish or even “Epic Movie”
Or your “Disaster Movie” or “Dance Flick”
Who blew a buck on “Vampires Suck” to pick
So they could waste time on something so lame
They almost gave in and saw “Starving Games”?
Fri, Jul. 19th, 2013, 09:40 am
mozartzbitch: (no subject)
Say, would anyone here be perhaps interested in adding some illustrations to this piece
Who The Fuck Stole Culture
‘Tis the standard belief to the progressive mind
That no generation should ever fall behind
Thus as mankind evolves from a past generation
The next era should feature its own innovations
But unfortunately, to my greatest dismay
There are periods for which I dare not to say
Were particularly if at all for mankind
Necessary in reflecting those days behind
In the not so forgotten of ages to pass
There did live a great lineage of fads doomed to last
Such a chapter in the late twentieth century
One that could have been so revolutionary
But instead it was a time in which agencies
Felt that time had come to preach complacency
In an era so meager of its innovations
That the decade I speak of defined a “creation”
As something fabricated from recycled thoughts
Made basically the same as long as they had got
Something generated from electronic toys
With computers graphics or some synthesized noise
And while these gadgets nurtured our ears and our eyes
The toys and fashions never failed to surprise
And as Reaganomics for eight years reigned supreme
This now nostalgic generation it would seem
To have dwindled through ages and to some passed days
A splendor to some while to others’ dismays
In the musical realm of this nostalgic age
A dancer to synhthpop could be called a sage
He could be a pervert with artificial skin
But each move and each sound allowed himself to win
Evidently bottomless residual wages
And immortal status in pop-culture’s pages
And meanwhile in this same period came to be
A famed “Artist” whose name suggested royalty
Whose Oscar, golden globe, and seven Grammy’s were
Earned from 9 albums this age and his 7 tours
Then a dancer from Bay City, Michigan came
Whose sex-life we knew more of than her own last name
And though we know she’d not been “touched for the first time”
To number 1 in charts would her many hits climb
From New Jersey, a great gospel talent emerged
For when she sang of all her “love for you” she surged
To the scene as an all-time cherished voice unfurled
For audiences to love in all of the world
Now I know what you’re thinking for at least you must
Wonder at this point why I call this time a bust
Well you see, just because some components were fine,
That does not mean that it was a time to define
Consider “Escape Club” to see what I mean
Whose two motives combined to make up one theme
That dominated throughout all of their songs
‘Cause their lyrics sure couldn’t for three minutes long
Excessive patriotism didn’t come tough
For Bruce Springsteen to think that ONE theme was enough
As long as its volume was excessive in size
And its synthesized sounds bytes worked to compromise
Or when Survivor satisfied Rocky fans’ senses
With one note in the bass line and but two cadences
In the realm of this era’s music beyond pop
I dare not to declare this decade was to stop
All decency and reason to musical art
Rather tear each hot genre steadily apart
Like Metallica bringing the decade a new
With head banging drug culture teens could relate to
Although they relied on influences brought in
By other crucial figures like Iron Maiden
With boundaries crossed past the many conventions
From the long-since traditional 4/4 inventions
And though 4/4 remained the beat regularly
The patterns could alternate rather frequently
Thus the apparent chaos much felt metal was
Gained a wide range of audience’s perhaps ‘cause
The apparent chaos these musicians displayed
Served to illustrate the messages these song said
Which was to these songs’ benefits generally
‘Cause lyrics sure seemed worthless to those like Ozzy
Then the word “underground” always could justify
Lazy heavy metal for consumers to buy
Claiming they were lost souls so devout to their art
That they had to sell out so they could be a part
Of the “rebel” tradition of grunting and curses
To clean out their consumers’ wallets and their purses
Thus the groups didn’t care how much bad or much good
Did society gain when the “Business is good”
Referred to “Killing” as their business of choice
When Combat Records spent 8 grand to hear this noise
Then hedons such as Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee
Knew that breaking the law was bound to guarantee
Recurring residuals from the teen hypocrites
So record companies could prey on this bullshit
In the film industry of these peculiar days
Funds went to the nirvana of lazy screenplays
Brought from checks signed by conservative producers
Fed up with innovative financial losers
Thus explosions and sequels were where money went
And on moderate gambles the rest would be spent
But if ever a novel idea did come
The industries jumped out to reap every sum
With more sequels or rip-offs everyone could tell
And when nothing else worked, films knew bare tits would sell
Take such a novel conflict as teenage frustration
A screenplay idea studios did not ration
What with all the innovations in “Ridgemont High”
‘Twas inevitable pop-culture milk it dry
Like the fallback conservative lowest of lows
Turn this coming-of-age gem into a TV show
And before the teenagers were too old to use
There were bottomless screenplays to throw at John Hughes
Whose mild comedic yet dramatic zeal
Worked to give this genre quite standard appeal
And this evolved to get rather complicated
In the best of ways when there came “Karate Kid”
This wonderful look at the 7-year strife
To so agonize through a teenager’s life
But what goes up must come down though all execs cringe
Thus before such times came, industries had to binge
On relentless merchandise to throw until you
Bought your ticket and cursed at “Karate Kid 2”
And naïve fans who thought one sequel was enough
Supported its cartoon show, comic books, and stuff
In fact they were even dumb enough to go see
The abominable “Karate Kid 3”
Now the technical realm of the film industry
Wasn’t bad! In fact it was quite good actually
With computers just starting to take the big screen
Rather novel visuals could illustrate scenes
With puppeteers and hand made designers on call
‘Twas not ‘til the next decade computers ruled all
Like the Lucas or Henson- inspired designs
In the earlier films that were all intertwined
With well-written stories that needed not rely
But instead they were merely complemented by
These creative designs and well-thought out efforts
For a wonderful blend of great quality works
But each “Star Wars”, “Indiana Jones”, or “E.T”
Allowed “Labyrinth” or “Dark Crystal” to come to be
Or hilariously bad Schwarzenegger flicks
Like “Conan” or “Command0” to throw in the mix
Thus the action genre reached a dominant high
When bad-ass one-liners and sick deaths reached the sky
For the limit of how violent one could be
To still remain shocking for viewers to see
Like when audiences would find it rather tough
To top “Alien” grossness way far from enough
The genre first started to look sick in “First Blood”
Though Stallone kept his shirt off to “pose” as a stud
And though “Predator” may have been worse than “Freddy”
Producers kept making flicks more and more bloody
But rated-R shock value did not just need gore
For defining this era needed a bit more
As studios said, “ ‘Animal House’, thank you so
For sharing your wisdom for us all to know
That cinema doesn’t need well-written scripts
But junk-induced actors and SHIT LOADS OF TITS”
“Revenge of the Nerds” bring this film to the screen
Show those tits and pussies teenage boys haven’t seen
‘Police Academy’ wasn’t funny; no care
It still featured women who were totally bare
Let this tradition stay for a new generation
So new fans can pay up from every nation
If any omen could come for hearts to contend
‘Twas the promise of this decade one day to end
For the future prospects of life always leave fear
To who dread life whenever it can look too unclear
And for those who dreaded the time of which I speak
Their greatest Christmas gift was knowing one more week
Did remain in this era some dare not bring back
But hope the new days re-grow
Sat, Jun. 15th, 2013, 06:09 pm
mozartzbitch: Along awaited post
Alright so I haven't posted a real poem in a LONG time. I just wanna really get some work in this summer on this art form that I really lost some of my touch in. CRITIQUES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and I really gotta think of a good now for this piece
The dice of life how many times
We roll each sacred day
For head or tails on any dime
We toss to find the way
To wait and see
What comes to be
Never to know
What could be so
Nor ever free
From that which we
Now live as though
To forward go
For ev’ry gift ‘cause I said, “yes”
I’ve cherished in my heart
That one word as well, I must attest
Has greatly torn apart
Many mem’ries
That weren’t to be
Although opposed
To much of those
For gifts to be
Or woes to see
Now saying, “No” as time goes by
Can be an omen too
For many times have come when I
Did not know what to do
But honestly
What times do we
Know what to say
On any day
Short of time’s test,
Which word was best
Every choice, be it seem less or not
Every reason we’ve possibly thought
Logic or illogic who was to know
Genius or foolish in hindsight it shows
Make a choice once before you’re a hero
Make it again and a fool’s path you go
One struck of good luck is one moment’s bliss
One struck of bad luck is a lifetime missed
Comes day’s end when I can decide
What should or not have been
For but my own thoughts deep inside
None other’s thoughts to mean
Be nice it could
Knowing what would
Though sad a lot
To know what’s not
What could be so
We’ll never know
Tue, Feb. 28th, 2012, 02:56 pm
So the last post, the general concensus was for me to pay attention to my wording and generally flow of the essay. This time, I worked to pay attention to my choice of words particularly (thank you [Unknown LJ tag]) and I stopped to listen more carefully to how much sense the overall writing sounded to me (thank you [Unknown LJ tag]) so let's see what oyu guy think of this next practice essay.
1. Identify two inluences that would facilitate language acquisition during early to middle childhood, citing examples of each:
Language acquisition in early childhood is facilitated by exposure and recreation. Structured exposure to language provides young examples exampels of speech from which to model. Recreation allows the children to then practice the lanugage among their peers. Both components work for children to learn all roles of a language and confirm their grasps of them.
Constant reading to an infant is crucial early language development. Noam Chomsky firstly, discusses children grasping basic language components who need to grasp excpetions too. Reading demonstrates a wide range of language rules, but also implants excpetions. A child may learn though speech for instance, that if you see more than one of something, the word to describe them ends with an "s" sound. The child must also however, learn that not every plural word ends with an "s". When adults read to infants, the infants also however, gain deeper understanding of components like syntax. The consistent sentence structure demonstrates to infants the general order in which sentences are written or spoken. As the infants hear these words, they develop extensive speech examples to model from.
Recreation for children is essential to developing language through practice. Lev Vygotsky viewed infants' zones of proximal development vital for adults to assessing children. The non-structured opportunity for children to play and communicate together lets them freely practice language they have developed and allows adults to observe how much language the children have efficiently grasped. As children communicate in non-structured environments, they demonstrate language they have learned well enough, that they can comfortably express it. Thus adults can determine children's ZPD's by observing exactly how much language the children are capable of freely acquiring and comfortably expressing. The next step then prompts the adults to pay attentions to common deficiencies in the children's language to correct and which positive language areas to continue promoting.
Adult involvement is essenstial in all levels of early language development. It requires direct roles between adults and infants, but adults are responsible to nurture the methods. Parents and teachers are responsible to expose infants to a language. Infants practice it among, parents, teachers, and peers. Parents and teachers then continue exposing and developing a language for children's consistent development.
Fri, Feb. 24th, 2012, 10:02 am
mozartzbitch: Critiques are always welcome and in fact, encouraged.
So first off the bat, I've been working for months on the CSET to get a certification in English to add to my credential. I have studied a lot for it and have put in some pretty dedicated hours. I merely however, have no idea if I have studied the right way at all. So Im just going about it the best and seeing what happens. So Im just posting my practice essays here. For this practice essay, I responded to a sample question on the characeristic of good journalism. I don't know if this essay is the right idea, but it seems consistent with the practice book asked for. Any critiques on my views would be most appreciated. Please also note that I only put an hour into this particular draft because that's all the time I'll get on the test:
Good journalism should educate audiences on important issues and develop insight on the multiple perspectives to those issues. Journalists may have their own personal opinions for or the topics, but must be mindful of all arguments are both sides. Journalists attempting to sway audience's opinions need to be especially mindful of their all potential arguments against their particular opinions. Journalists open to all arguments toward issues can emphasize the reasons to support them and rectify any argument against them.
Good journalism is directly demonstrated through Monroe's motivational sequence; attention, need, satisfaction, visualization, and solution. An effective journalist gains the audience's attention by immediately alerting them of an issue. The journalist then efficiently convey appropriate rationale to investing attention to this issue. By understanding thier audience's value, the journalist effectively conveys to the audiene positives or negative impacts have resulted or could due to the topic. Journalists also keep all opinions in perspective to show open-mindedness to their audience's contrasting opinions.
Poor journalism is bias and one-sided. Explaining issues from an overly positive or negative viewpoint without acknowledging each counter-argument is propoganda, not journalism. Such journalists do a disservice to their audiences by not allowing ample opportunities to evalute each side to an issue. This causes a loss in credibility to the journalist. A spectator who is educated not decided on issue and witnesses such a bias description of it will lack respect and therefore sympathy as well in favor of that jorunalist. Audiences not educated on this issue except for a bias account on it may unfairly sympathize with the journalist.
Fri, Aug. 12th, 2011, 11:15 am
mozartzbitch: Perhaps my final revision
Before I go any further, I would just to take a moment to express my amusemet in the fact this long since gone from a group site to post writing to my own personal blog essentially. So
octaveleap thank you for keeping it up. I actually looked among the archive posts and unless someone posts before September 10th other than me, I will have been the only one to post here for 4 years. Well it amuses me. Oh well. On with the post.
You can always do something more with an essay, but I'm starting to reach the point where I might be wise to just leave it. If I didn't have 500 word limit, I'd certainl build on it more, but I've really done what I can to squeeze in all the content to thoroughly explain my points in 500 words or less. Well this essay is exactly 499 words according to the word counter on the site. So I'm fine on that. I think I should actually include the questions TFA wants the essay to answer, so here there are:
1. Why do you seek to join Teach For America?
2. What would you hope to accomplish as a corps member?
3. How would you determine your success as a corps member?
Through Teah for America, I wish to provide**( Read more...Collapse )**
Thu, Aug. 11th, 2011, 12:20 pm
mozartzbitch: My TFA letter of intent revision. I am aware of several typos I'll fix later, I promise
So first and foremost, my deepest appreciation to
twirlynoodle for her dedicated, thorough, and noteworthy observations on my last draft of my TFA application. Each comment was actually rectified in some way shape or form in this next draft.
So here are a few changes I'll eplain first. I acknowledge a criticism my Mother made which I have responded to. She feels my thesis statement should immediately express my desire to teach music. Originally and for a period afterwards, I didn't like that because I want TFA to know that my main goal is to primarily TEACH regardless of the subject area. Now it was twirlynoodle who did not feel the essay was always consistent. Specifically, she took this issue with the opening sentence to the closing paragraph in the last draft. I therefore, felt that I needed to just make sure my opening statement really cover EVERY sentence in the piece. Then naturally, I just rearranged the closing paragrpah because I realized that it looked like just a collection of cliches I copied and pasted from careerbuilder.com . I then looked over the essay and realized that posting my interest in teaching music from the start however, made a lot more sense. I realized that adding the music component in made for a much more heartfelt answer than the previous draft's opening cliche similar so many I have previously riddled the paper with and have worked to eradicate. I also realized that it put all the remarks of the essay into better perspective. A topic sentence should be consistent with every statement in the esay's remainder. And as I am working to advertise myself as a music teacher whose goal is to edcuate students with that art form, I should implement it at the beginning. I stand by my idea that TFA is looking for educators who are out to teach regardless of what. I merely realized in this next drat, that I could cover that point AND that I want to do so through music. I also squeezed in two stories for the third paragraph on how I assess growth. I'm not quite sure it was the best idea to sacrifice description for narration as much I did in paragraph 3, but the content certainly shocases my point. So without further ado, HERE IT IS: ( Read more...Collapse )
Wed, Aug. 10th, 2011, 02:09 pm
mozartzbitch: My TFA letter of intent; state what you wish, but please try be constructive, not condescending
GO MOM!
My Mother rules! She has been up at 4:30 a.m. the last two mornings and will be up at 4:30 again tomorrow morning to help me with this essay. I love her so much, and can't tell you how fortunate I feel to have my parents like mine right now!
Anyway, so I am working on two application essays. I am applying to Teach for America's gradate students corps program and Claremont Graduate University's English master's program. So for those who to take a look at my revised TFA application essay, here it is. Criticisms are encouraged and appreciated.
Fri, Jul. 8th, 2011, 12:16 pm
mozartzbitch: (no subject)
I actually completed this piece about a week ago, but I different parts were on different computers so pasting them together took a bit longer than I intended. Nonetheless, Here is my Dodgers ballad crossing between a heroic epic and an elegy.
Fri, Jul. 1st, 2011, 11:44 am
mozartzbitch: What's this? A post on "hug_ninjas_lair"?
I'm curious how many if anyone will read this post besides me as I can't remember anyone posting on this site for years. Well I thought this might be a good spot to post this rather epic I have completed. There is just one thing though; this isn't the whole poem. This is probably about a third of it. I have been working on this ballad on two different computers. I began writing it two days ago on my office computer which I am writing from right now. I then added added a bit that night when I worked on my home computer. I added a bit more at work yesterday, completed some other parts at home and have yet to paste both parts together. It is an extensive ballad documenting the Dodgers' entire history since their conception in 1882. For now though, I just included the section about their Brooklyn years. More will come, fear not. And although I'm not aware of anyone beside me who's ever had anything to do with this site and is a Baseball fan at all besdies me, I hope someone can at least appreciate the work put into it. In fact, I'm curious how much of this poem can actually be transalted if you don't know anything about the Dodgers' history. Please read all the same and I'll clarify any historcial facts you can't understand. For now, I'm just including the part of the ballad the documents the Dodgers in Brooklyn. And actually, there's a missing verse I'll include later.
( Read more...Collapse )