ikerbecks (original) (raw)

Title: Seeing him cry
Pairing: David Beckham/Iker Casillas
Summery: Iker Casillas bids Real Madrid goodbye, and David Beckham watches the press conference on TV.

Beckham knew it was coming...but he didn’t know that it would be this devastating...

With his eyes fixed on the TV screen, he stops rocking a sleeping Harper back and forth. He freezes holding his daughter gently in his arms. The sports channel is bringing him the fresh tearful face of his beloved live at his home. Beckham swallows hard in an attempt to press down the sudden dark bubbles of pain that were trying to float up his throat.
The headline flashing on the screen is clear and loud.
“Iker Casillas delivers his farewell speech in Tears”
Beckham watches the tearful face of the Spaniard. Iker's tears are like diamonds on the floor, they always bring Beckham down. Truly, seeing him cry has always been the most painful thing for the Englishman. He watches the usually rapid speaking Spaniard chocking in his speech, again and again. He sees the beautiful, ever so youthful face of San Iker crumbling under the weight of the cruel world. The shutters and the flashes of the cameras never stop for a second, how can they? The fall of a Hero was a rare scene and for everyone to watch, good and bad alike.
He feels sick in his stomach and takes his sleeping baby daughter to her room, to lie her down on the bed. He tacks her in softly and leaves the room. He hasn’t felt his light headed and helpless in years, not since 2006, when he had to prepare for leaving Real Madrid. The heaviness in his chest seems to grow by each second. He could never stand the tears of Iker’s eyes, even though there have been plenty of them from Iker in the course of life. Beckham just hasn’t been able to get accustomed to Iker’s tears. He just can’t stand to see Iker in pain, like he can’t stand to see Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz or Harper in pain. He doesn’t like it much either when Iker cries of happiness. He adores it when Iker is that out of this world happy, but given an option, he would still rather have Iker not crying. At any situation, Iker’s tears make him feel weak. He checks his phone again, and sees if any new text has arrived. None. He scrolls up to see the last message he sent to Iker. “Take Santos Marquez with you, please.”
Yes, he suggested Iker to take his lawyer and agent Santos Marquez with him for the press conference, at least. He did not want Iker to bite the bullet and go to confront the journalists’ jaw alone, especially, with a news like this. He had been impatient ever since Iker had texted him that Real Madrid wanted Iker to pilot solo in the Press conference. No officials wanted to relate themselves with his departure. Especially, Perez. They wanted Iker to host the conference alone, so it would look like the decision to leave Real Madrid was taken by Iker himself. It was outrageous, especially, given the fact that Iker did not want to leave Real Madrid in the first place, ever. Iker could have revolted, but he was too shocked and grief stricken. Iker was ashamed of himself and his recent performance. Being the Saint he always has been, he took the blame on his shoulders. He decided to accept the Club’s decision and all the condemnation. He agreed to their decision and went on to face the world alone with no friend or foe on his side.
Everything was done on a short notice. The club just let Iker know of its decisions and plans. There was no place left for any saying from Iker’s side. They called for the press conference right after the day Iker was sent the official notice of discharge. Iker was given no time to think or prepare himself. However, amid the world crushing down Iker let Beckham know of the news. Beckham was shocked at news of Iker’s departure of Real Madrid, but he was more shocked at the Club’s crude treatment toward Iker. He could hardly imagine Iker leaving Real Madrid, but what he absolutely could not imagine was Real Madrid ‘pushing’ Iker out of it.
He was furious. He wanted Iker to fight back and sue Perez. But he stopped pressing on Iker, when a text arrived from the side of the goalkeeper.
“David, their eyes...hurt me. I can’t.”
Beckham eyes the text one more time. Those few words said so much more. He couldn’t even imagine how could they ever be so despicable to someone as amiable and loyal like Iker. They called him “Saint Iker”, didn’t they? He called Iker instantly after seeing the message, they spoke for a while. Iker’s sobs were very clear, and each hit Beckham’s heart with precision. He tried to soothe Iker, and tell him that it is not the end of him. Iker is more than the Club. Iker is the Golden glove Winner, the World’s Best Goalkeeper. He pleaded to Iker to think about Martin, the young Iker. However, nothing worked for the moment. Beckham understood Iker’s fear, thus allowed him to fall into pieces over the phone. Because if Iker didn’t cry it out then, the sorrows will nest inside him forever. At any rate, it is better to grieve at times than being afraid of your emotions. It is something Beckham has learned greatly from Iker.
The goal stopper was never quite capable of hiding his emotions. His tears made him famous among many other things. Whenever there has been a big win or a defeat, the internet was spammed with Iker Casillas’s tearful photos. Not that Iker ever cried on purpose, or loved to be so emotional. It was just something innate about him. The world viewed him from different angles for it. Some called him a Saint, some called him weak. At the core, however, the Spaniard was a strong person, and his emotions expressed his strengths for him. Iker was no typical man, who would hold back his tears to cement a male egoistic image merely for the sake of the world. The truth is, it takes incredible amount of strength to cry and be naked emotionally in front of the whole world, and then still continue your walk. As clichéd and phony it may sound but shedding tears is not always a sign of weakness.
He bitterly remembers those times in 2006, when he himself had to make Iker cry. He had to leave Real Madrid to join LA Galaxy, and leave his love behind along with a part of himself. He remembers, in a moment of utter weakness, how he wanted to choose Iker over everything in the world. He wanted to give up every single thing that he had achieved in his life-- to be with Iker, and how Iker with his tearful eyes stopped him from doing so. Iker cried so much that Beckham feared the goalie would die. Beckham literally saw and felt that the Spaniard was hurting. Beckham was afraid, he wanted the pain to stop, save Iker from the pain. The images come to him flashing.

“I want to be with you. I want you, Iker. Nothing else. Nothing else matters. I will retire. Start businesses here, in Madrid.” Beckham said holding Iker’s tear-glistening face. “I choose you, Iker. I love you. I can’t take this anymore.” He kissed Iker’s temple, eyes, cheeks, lips, his beautiful hands in frenzy. He wanted to free and save his love from being in pain.

He was always weaker than Iker. He was and still is afraid of extreme emotions, because they hurt like bloody hell. Iker was much stronger, he could embrace pain, sadness, grieve endlessly, and cry his heart out. Beckham always fears that it will kill him, but the truth is Iker is way stronger for that. He remembers the stillness in Iker, when he disapproved him to stay, asked him to leave. Beckham was taken back and was full of love for Iker than ever, because it was Iker who saved their love, and saved him. Beckham could have never continued to be the man he was after deserting his children selfishly for his love. Iker saved him from becoming a hallow man. Iker, even though was hurting tremendously, made the right decision for them.
The phone buzzes, bringing him back from his voyage of thoughts.
It’s Victoria. “Hey, dear”
“Hello honey, what you doing?”
“Nothing much, darling. Just put Harper into sleep. How you doing?”
“Splendid, I am just grabbing a quick lunch at the office. It is completely mad down here today. All the models are doing their trials. Are the boys back from school yet?”
“Not yet, but they should be home any moment. Don’t worry. I got it at home.”
“You are a daring, David. What would I ever do without your support? Did you have your lunch, by the way?”
“Well, no. but I will. You enjoy your meal, babe. I am waiting for the boys.”
“Okay, see you at dinner. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
She doesn’t know about it yet. Beckham hasn’t found a time to tell her. They usually have a busy life. Plus, Victoria has been quite busy with her upcoming Victoria’s Secret Angels fashion show. She would get upset, too, if she comes to how awfully the goalkeeper has been treated by his club. No, Victoria doesn’t hate Iker. She is a grateful woman in nature and she knows how much she owes the Spanish man.
His heart feels tighter, and he sighs. His heart drifts to Iker again. He knows Iker is crying right now. The boy, who grew up in Real Madrid, won more major trophies with the club than anyone else in the history of Club football as a captain, and found out his soul mate in this very club, is crying. He knows the boy, who planned to retire and die at Real Madrid, is hurting terribly. But he also knows that Iker will be alright. These tears of Iker will not be the end of him. Iker will be alright for his son, his love David Beckham, his responsibilities: his wife Sara and his mom and dad. Iker will cry, but make the right decision. Beckham surfs the internet on his mobile for a while, his subscribed news feeds are flooded with Iker’s tearful face. He runs a hand through his hair and groans under his breath in frustration. It fucking hurts to see him cry.
Beckham can not help but shudder as he tries to comprehend the gravity of the situation. This messy departure and appalling treatment from the club has tarnished the entire journey of Iker with Real Madrid. Iker, surely, will never ever be able to look back at his journry without the dreadful memories of the disastrous ending. He wishes he could leave with his jet right now, and be at Madrid in few hours to hold Iker in his arms. He wants to hold the man whom he owes his heart, life, family, fame and all the happiness that he holds today. He wants to see Iker cry, even though seeing him cry is the most painful thing ever.
He huffs, and dials his pilot’s number and books a flight before midnight. He isn’t as strong as Iker and he will never be. He can’t endure this feeling of pain in his chest for long; neither can he stand to watch Iker go through it for long. He must be with Iker. Because that’s the least thing he can do. Because Iker's tears are like diamonds on the floor that he must pick up. Iker's tears always bring him down. He can not help but give into his emotions once again. He does a little math in his head. He will prepare a nice super, feed the children, and take leave from Victoria as soon as he can. He feels a bit relief. If everything goes right, he should be in Madrid about 12 hours from now, holding Iker in his arms and seeing him cry.