You've done a bad, bad thing (original) (raw)

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

12:33PM - .

last night i got drunk and went to a coffee shop that high school kids frequent. i spent two hours trying to pick fights with minors and shamelessly hitting on their girlfriends in front of them. i'm implusive, i have control-issues, and i like to drink. oh, and i threw away a bunch of my parents stuff because of a long-lived vendetta.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

9:15PM

sometimes I cause girls to break-up with their boyfriends leading them to believe will be together only to drop them and then take pleasure from the control i have.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

8:15PM - An Introductory Sin

I just got turned on watching the part in the movie Karla when Karla lets Paul fuck her unconcious 16 year old sister...

Yeah, I'm going to hell.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

4:57PM - 16 years old

My sins: (too many to list here)
i had sex in my parents bed.
I am a klepto.
i've been arrested for shoplifting, but i still do it.
i cut myself everyday.
all i want to do is drink and have sex and smoke.
i smoke the magical herb called marijuana, and it is the most beautiful substance i've ever tasted.
i lie to everyone i know.
i hurt people constantly and get a strange pleasure out of it.
when one of my friends likes a guy i do whatever i can to make him mine.
when my parents aren't home i invite boys over to play :).....i make my little sister stay upstairs and watch tv.
when i eat too much i puke so i can stay 100 pounds.
i love being the thinnest of my friends.
i cheat on my boyfriend frequently.
i contemplate suicide almost everyday
many more unlisted and to come...

Current mood: blank

Monday, October 12, 2009

1:14AM - i'm really really sorry

the only sin that actually makes me feel guilty:
i dropped my brother's hamster and her head got hit (like seizure or something) and since then she's been losing weight.
then my brother gave it to one of his friend and i've never seen it again.
i hope she's okay now.
i'm sorryyyyyyyyy, hamster!!!!!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

10:58PM

A few new sins to confess since my last confession:

- I slept with one of my best straight girl friends while we were drunk, knowing that she wouldn't remember it. And I don't feel any guilt for being the cause of her cheating on her boyfriend because he is an ass to both myself and her.

- That happened on two occasions.

- This was a while back, but I broke into my dad's house and stole his favourite material possession and pawned it because, even though I love him, I still dislike him for not being around often in my childhood.

- I haven't been praying daily like I should.

- My friend wants to start a Bible group, but I'm too lazy to read the Bible.

- I enjoy writing and reading sadistic, torturous, and morbid stories and whatnot.

- I genuinely find nothing wrong with murderers, cannibals and the like.

- I am turned on by blood, gore, violence and rape.

That's all for now. 'Til next time, sinners.

Current mood: exhausted

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Saturday, June 20, 2009

11:31PM

Huh, so many sins, yet when I have a chance to let them out I can't think of any. Well, for now:

- I'm attracted to girls (and I am one)
- I enjoy drinking
- I'm cold to people and don't even know why
- I've contemplated suicide
- I lie all the time, usually for no reason
- I have a strange fetish for horror
- I push people who care away because I'm scared to get close to them
- I have a very morbid, violent mind and desperately with I didn't
- I've masterbated :o
- I tend to have a hard time relating to people's suffering
- I've downloaded illegally
- I'm scared to no end about going to Hell.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

11:25PM - save your sorry's for the judge...

i shop-lift for the rush.
i do drugs.
i embezzeled 67 grand from a family business.
i lie constantly.
i break my knuckles for pills.
i use people like condoms.
i hate myself.
i decieve just about everyone.
i hate my family.
i overdozed 10 times in 8 months.
i systematically play with people's emotions for shits and giggles.
many more to come...

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

1:43PM - guilt, regret, remorse, shame... ignorance

Im so glad i found this community, because im needing to vent about the things i do, which are very, very bad. I seem to believe that if i dont think about my "sins", they will go away and they wont bother me, but sometimes they end up hurting you in the long run and bother you constantly until you cant take it anymore. In my case, ive done a few terrible things and continue to do them, and ive been labeled a "selfish" person by others because i dont seem to care who i hurt in the process of my own personal gain. However, my actions dont hurt the people who dont know about them... in this case, my boyfriend, who loves me and does all that he can to help me and make me happy. I go out and lot and I sleep around, i cheat on him constantly, lie to his face and tell him i was doing something else. I feel terrible for this, especially when i go home, hug him, pretend everything is okay. When i am away from my best friend and lover, i live a seperate life, sortof like a party animal. He doesnt like drugs, and he knows i smoke pot all the time, but what he doesnt know is that i also do crack, blow, pills, and sometimes heroin, constantly. If he ever found out i was a junkie whore, he would leave me and hate me, his heart would be broken, and i feel bad for this because i value his friendship, seeing that he is the only true friend that i have (others use me, and im fine with that...) Basically i am confessing to get this off my back, because most of the time i try to ignore it when im back home around him, i live with him, and until i go out again i shun this aside and pretend that ive not done the things ive done. Ive stolen money from him to support my habit, spent his money on cocaine and other things, and he has been giving me money to help me buy a car, but sometimes i use that for drugs also.
I feel horrible about myself for these awful doings. I know that after anyone reads this they will assume i have no heart, no morals, no respect for other people's feelings. I do. Dont get me wrong. The situation with him is somewhat justified, because, a bit of personal information here: we dont exactly have the most satisfying relationship, and in fact i think that me and my boyfriend would be better off as friends. I wish i had someone else, so i go from guy to guy, party a lot, all without him knowing a single thing. Then i come home and i lie to his face, lile straight up, tell him something completely false. My guily conscience is starting to get to me though. last night i was fucked up and he didnt know, i came back and i couldnt look him in the eye while i lied. I am afraid that one day he will find all this out... and when he does... his heart will be broken. I believe that "what J doesnt know wont hurt him", but one day, im sure he will... he will know that i am a liar, and since we started dating i have never been faithful to him. One day he will hate me, and not only will his soul be crushed, but so will mine, for he is the only single friend i have who understands me... but if i hide so much from him, how can he understand me at all, you see?

Please tell me what you think about this... and i am a tough person i dont mind HARSH criticism... i come here to be abused, i deserve it, i am a sick bastard for doing the things i do, dont hesitate to bash me, i need some discipline for my wrongdoings. I feel bad inside my heart but i continue to do it, continue to use him, use drugs, use others, use, use, til i have no self to respect. But ignorance is bliss and by not thinking about it, i am free... until it finally tears me apart. That is the beauty of sin.

Monday, September 8, 2008

2:05PM

I lay awake at night wondering if there is something wrong with me. No doubt there is some dark thing festering deep inside.

I cannot let my friends and family know. I have to surpress my most psychotic fantasies from everyone else around me, but I get the feeling sometimes that perhaps they know of the evil that lruks within me.

I don't enjoy thinking about what it would be like to dismember and disembowel my friends slowly..... thankfuly I can keep it all under control. I'll just be spending a lot of money on buying guinea pigs or rats.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

1:29PM

I feel bad because I called a friend and told her that someone in our class was having an affair.

I have a friend who sweats easily and smells bad, I've been complaining about her to some people, 'cause we go to the gym together, and she doesn't shower afterwards, then my car smells like shit.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

5:34AM - sigh

i love the fact my girl is bi...and i have fantasies about having a three some...
i enjoy violence, blood gore.
having my neck bitten turns me on
i love the fact that my girl loves porn almost as much as i do....
i enjoy anal and oral sex
i like to wear womens clothes
i enjoy pain so much that when i get my tattoos i get turnd on
i am fiendishly protective...
i am fiendishly jealous...
even before i joind the military my dreams have been haunted with death and killing...
i watched my bestfriend die in my arms...and couldent do shit about it...
i like it when my girl ties me up and beats me...
i wish i diddnt hate people as much as i do....
i find most of humanity a discusting and gross cancer of this earth....
i hate my self with a pashion...

Saturday, June 7, 2008

7:51AM - just three for now

i am physically abusive to my boyfriend

i do not want to be close to members of my family because i fear incest occurring

i used to have sex with animals, and probably still would if my boyfriend were interested instead of jealous.

i bet some are wondering why sex with animals doesn't freak me out but incest does... and really i can't explain that one at this moment

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

3:47PM

- I slept with a minor.
- I took my friends virignity and then ignored him afterwards for about a year
- I took money off my little brother for drugs and took ages to pay it back
- I had sex in my little brothers bed and forgot to change the sheets
- I had sex in a childrens playground
- I slept with some one who had crushed on me for a year partly to get back at a girl who fancied him and partly to settle a bet on how large he was
- I throw guys out of my bed when I am done with them and shout at them if they complain
- If someone upsets me I pick apart every inch of thier character so I am sure I have severely damaged thier confidence for a long time
That will do for now

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

6:49AM - I'm a sinner

and I like pushing others to sin too. Its part of how I make my $. Drop by sometime. Some of my work is... detailed out... in the blog.

and Good Morning!!

;>

Current mood: chipper

Saturday, February 2, 2008

8:26PM - Sins

I am in love with my best friends girl friend.

Friday, January 11, 2008

11:50PM

she's really just too stupid.

a fine fuck, but she's too stupid.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

3:19AM - Bitch.

I'm telling everyone I know of how my New Years day went, and about the guy who I sincerley thought, (in all fairness, I was terrified about him) was about to rape and kill me.... and I'm especially going to tell his new girlfriend about it...

....because his new girlfriend isn't me.

12:32AM

I visit my exes website daily.

its been nearly four months and Im nowhere near single.

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