In memoriam's Journal (original) (raw)

Remembering Loved Ones	[25 Oct 2007\|03:05pm]
[ mood \| sad ] Fall is such a sad time for me. I lost both my mother and brother in the Fall. The weather turning cold, the wind whipping my face, the leaves falling and plants turning brown, to me it all spells loss and grief. It can be very trying just to cope with life's little things when you feel so sad. For me, it helps to talk about it. I've noticed there is not a lot of response here. That's why I'm on Groups like this one where I can actually get a response: http://www.respectance.com/group/The-Grieving-Process/ It has helped me a lot and I wanted to recommend this to the group. I hope this helps. Be well and God Bless,Marie

[25 Oct 2007|03:05pm]

[ **mood** |

sad ] Fall is such a sad time for me. I lost both my mother and brother in the Fall. The weather turning cold, the wind whipping my face, the leaves falling and plants turning brown, to me it all spells loss and grief. It can be very trying just to cope with life's little things when you feel so sad. For me, it helps to talk about it. I've noticed there is not a lot of response here. That's why I'm on Groups like this one where I can actually get a response: http://www.respectance.com/group/The-Grieving-Process/ It has helped me a lot and I wanted to recommend this to the group. I hope this helps. Be well and God Bless,Marie

remember

	[23 Jun 2004\|09:20am]
[ mood \| crushed ] today would have been my sister's 22nd birthday. she died in a train accident on dec 9, 2000. i miss her horribly. her death was so huge in its own right that i'm having a hard time figuring out how to remember her LIFE when i think of her. the pain of her death feels like my brain is being crushed. does anyone else have this problem and if so how do you deal with it? are there specific ways you've been able to honor their life and assimilate their death so that it doesn't overshadow the person?an article about my sister's death:Dec 11, 2000 - 12:32 AM - R-MWC student survives leap from trestle -By Jeffrey Sykes - The News & Advance - Capt. Jason Ferguson of the Monelison Rescue Squad rode to the hospital with Randolph-Macon Woman's College first-year student Esther Coker after her four-hour nightmare some 180 feet above the James River. "She just appeared not to be seriously injured. Just very cold," Ferguson said when asked about Coker's condition. Members of the Lynchburg Fire Department's Technical Rescue Team lifted the 18-year-old Houston native from the 18-inch ledge that saved her life at approximately 10:20 p.m. Coker was taken to Lynchburg General Hospital and released Sunday afternoon, according to hospital staff. Coker's companions Saturday night were not as lucky. Sara Corvington, 18, of Massilon, Ohio, and Conrad Frazier, 19, of East Hampton, N.Y. were both killed after they were forced from the Riverside Trestle to avoid a northbound Norfolk Southern freight train around 6:30 p.m. Saturday. Amherst County and Monelison Rescue personnel pulled their bodies from the Lynchburg side of the James River a short time later. No one knows why the trio was on the trestle, which spans the James River from Lynchburg to Amherst County.

[23 Jun 2004|09:20am]

[ **mood** |

crushed ] today would have been my sister's 22nd birthday. she died in a train accident on dec 9, 2000. i miss her horribly. her death was so huge in its own right that i'm having a hard time figuring out how to remember her LIFE when i think of her. the pain of her death feels like my brain is being crushed. does anyone else have this problem and if so how do you deal with it? are there specific ways you've been able to honor their life and assimilate their death so that it doesn't overshadow the person?an article about my sister's death:Dec 11, 2000 - 12:32 AM - R-MWC student survives leap from trestle -By Jeffrey Sykes - The News & Advance - Capt. Jason Ferguson of the Monelison Rescue Squad rode to the hospital with Randolph-Macon Woman's College first-year student Esther Coker after her four-hour nightmare some 180 feet above the James River. "She just appeared not to be seriously injured. Just very cold," Ferguson said when asked about Coker's condition. Members of the Lynchburg Fire Department's Technical Rescue Team lifted the 18-year-old Houston native from the 18-inch ledge that saved her life at approximately 10:20 p.m. Coker was taken to Lynchburg General Hospital and released Sunday afternoon, according to hospital staff. Coker's companions Saturday night were not as lucky. Sara Corvington, 18, of Massilon, Ohio, and Conrad Frazier, 19, of East Hampton, N.Y. were both killed after they were forced from the Riverside Trestle to avoid a northbound Norfolk Southern freight train around 6:30 p.m. Saturday. Amherst County and Monelison Rescue personnel pulled their bodies from the Lynchburg side of the James River a short time later. No one knows why the trio was on the trestle, which spans the James River from Lynchburg to Amherst County.

[5] remember

	[03 Feb 2004\|12:32pm]
[ mood \| crushed ] Hello, my name is Janece. 23 year old old young man from Hungary. 5:20 this morning, my wife passed away in my arms... I really don't know what to do with myself other than crawl and mope. Someone suggested find a haven where others understand what i'm going through. Bianca was 19 years old, she was in a horrible accident while she was pregnant with our twin girls in September. She miscarried the twins two weeks after and kept to herself the severe damage done to herself in order not to worry me. She finally told me she was dying in December, we got married three days before Christmas. Somehow she knew it was coming, told me to not to be afraid... Not to be sad, she wouldn't be in pain anymore. I can't help but still be upset. ( Falling angel.Collapse )Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read.I hope to find some kind of friends here.--Jan

[03 Feb 2004|12:32pm]

[ **mood** |

crushed ] Hello, my name is Janece. 23 year old old young man from Hungary. 5:20 this morning, my wife passed away in my arms... I really don't know what to do with myself other than crawl and mope. Someone suggested find a haven where others understand what i'm going through. Bianca was 19 years old, she was in a horrible accident while she was pregnant with our twin girls in September. She miscarried the twins two weeks after and kept to herself the severe damage done to herself in order not to worry me. She finally told me she was dying in December, we got married three days before Christmas. Somehow she knew it was coming, told me to not to be afraid... Not to be sad, she wouldn't be in pain anymore. I can't help but still be upset. **( Falling angel.Collapse )**Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read.I hope to find some kind of friends here.--Jan

[1] remember

::.;:- now i'm bound by the life you left behind...	[30 Jan 2004\|12:48pm]
[ mood \| depressed ] This is my story...My best friend, Amanda commited suicide October 16th, 2003. I'm not exactly sure why... well- yes I am. She had told me that her step-father raped her and had planned on killing her. I told her to get some help (police, child protective services, etc.) she had told me that she did. So for the next month or two- I thought everything was alright in her family. I called her a week before she died, and heard Him screaming at her in the background.I figured he was drunk or something. But.. something went wrong that night. I don't know what it was, but she was pushed over the edge. A week later, after he went to Pennsylvania, she commited suicide. The song... strawberry gashes by jack off jill... that's exactly what happend.Her brother called me two days after and told me. I overdosed and was sent to a psych ward for suicidal teens for a month. It did nothing, it did not take away the lonliness of losing your best friend. The only person in the world that made me feel of worth. That stupid Evanescence song.. makes me bawl. I can't help thinking of her.I'm angry... that she left me. But I know that I'm just being selfish. She called my cell phone the night it all happend. I was studying and I couldn't use the phone... I pressed ignore not thinking anything bad would happen. That was my mistake... and I feel so guilty because of it. Why not let me die, instead of her. I want it... she probably didn't. A couple of times I've had this dreanm... it's been really weird. Apparently, in this dream, I'm Amanda. You can see Him screaming at ,e to 'keep my filthy mouth shut', or he'll kill me. The next thing is me grabbing a rope, jumping off my back porch. And I (Amanda) hang myself.Then I usually wake up.Writing this is probably pointless, nobody is going to read it. Hmm.. I'm not sure why I waste my time doing these things.

::.;:- now i'm bound by the life you left behind...

[30 Jan 2004|12:48pm]

[ **mood** |

depressed ] This is my story...My best friend, Amanda commited suicide October 16th, 2003. I'm not exactly sure why... well- yes I am. She had told me that her step-father raped her and had planned on killing her. I told her to get some help (police, child protective services, etc.) she had told me that she did. So for the next month or two- I thought everything was alright in her family. I called her a week before she died, and heard Him screaming at her in the background.I figured he was drunk or something. But.. something went wrong that night. I don't know what it was, but she was pushed over the edge. A week later, after he went to Pennsylvania, she commited suicide. The song... strawberry gashes by jack off jill... that's exactly what happend.Her brother called me two days after and told me. I overdosed and was sent to a psych ward for suicidal teens for a month. It did nothing, it did not take away the lonliness of losing your best friend. The only person in the world that made me feel of worth. That stupid Evanescence song.. makes me bawl. I can't help thinking of her.I'm angry... that she left me. But I know that I'm just being selfish. She called my cell phone the night it all happend. I was studying and I couldn't use the phone... I pressed ignore not thinking anything bad would happen. That was my mistake... and I feel so guilty because of it. Why not let me die, instead of her. I want it... she probably didn't. A couple of times I've had this dreanm... it's been really weird. Apparently, in this dream, I'm Amanda. You can see Him screaming at ,e to 'keep my filthy mouth shut', or he'll kill me. The next thing is me grabbing a rope, jumping off my back porch. And I (Amanda) hang myself.Then I usually wake up.Writing this is probably pointless, nobody is going to read it. Hmm.. I'm not sure why I waste my time doing these things.

remember

	[13 Sep 2002\|02:24pm]
[ mood \| calm ] I think the loss that has most impacted my life was the death of my half-brother, Aubrey. He had been out for a late-night walk in mid-winter of 1998 when a drunken driver ripped around a corner, and spun out of control. Aubrey was pinned between the vehicle, and a large tree. They said he was almost cut entirely in half, but the worst part of it was that he survived. They believe he could feel everything, but no one was ever certain as Aubrey had slipped into a coma. He was comatose for six days before he died.He passed January 12th, 1998. It was supposed to have been his 22nd birthday.Aubrey and I had been very, very close. We were best friends, really, and I don't think I would have ever been able to cope with his death if a friend hadn't introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan. It helped me deal with each emotion I felt as I grieved. Anger, regret, sadness, and an overwhelming emptiness that I couldn't describe to you now if I tried.

[13 Sep 2002|02:24pm]

[ **mood** |

calm ] I think the loss that has most impacted my life was the death of my half-brother, Aubrey. He had been out for a late-night walk in mid-winter of 1998 when a drunken driver ripped around a corner, and spun out of control. Aubrey was pinned between the vehicle, and a large tree. They said he was almost cut entirely in half, but the worst part of it was that he survived. They believe he could feel everything, but no one was ever certain as Aubrey had slipped into a coma. He was comatose for six days before he died.He passed January 12th, 1998. It was supposed to have been his 22nd birthday.Aubrey and I had been very, very close. We were best friends, really, and I don't think I would have ever been able to cope with his death if a friend hadn't introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan. It helped me deal with each emotion I felt as I grieved. Anger, regret, sadness, and an overwhelming emptiness that I couldn't describe to you now if I tried.

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