Vast Space of One's Mind... (original) (raw)

			Vast Space of One's Mind... What I Do In This World....

			09:07 pm December 24th, 2010

			11:29 am December 24th, 2010

	Writer's Block: Welcome home Welcome home Do you prefer to live in a region with a temperate climate or four seasons, and why? Reply 643 I rather live in a place that has 4 seasons so you can enjoy the wonders of how god made the seasons. You get to have all different styles of clothes and living depending on which season you are in. You can do different sports and activities so you aren't doing the same thing all the time. Life is a game of change and it is fun when you can embrace it.Tags: writer's blockwhere i am: HomeListening To: Ferngully ~ Movie

			09:40 am December 24th, 2010

			12:10 am April 14th, 2009

	Such Is Life I don’t know if this post will even encompass a full idea or if it will just be random ramblings or what it will come of, but I feel just writing so we will see what is going on in my head I guess. There is so much that I am worried about right now and a lot of it is things that none of my friends know about it, so I am to scared to talk about it as it would change how many of my friends looked at me. One of the main things that I am thinking about though has to do with Felicia and the boys, and whether or not we are really meant to be together or if we are just trying to make something work out of nothing. We both completely love each other, that is nothing that is trying to be argued or discussed. But one thing that we have to consider is how many things in life that we are completely different on that we argue about on a daily basis. I was writing to someone the other day and I was bringing up something that my aunt told me a long time ago. She told me about when she divorced my uncle, that before she started looking at other guys, that she sat down and wrote a list of 100 things that she would want in a guy. She told me it was a list of anything and everything from the biggest things like religion, to the smallest things like how many covers on the bed. When she originally told me that, I started laughing at some of the small things that she told me about because in my mind I couldn’t comprehend how much the small things can dictate what goes on in your daily lives, but now that I have lived with and in a relationship with someone, it is easy to see how much the small things do matter. But there are things in my life that I am so confused on that can play into that to where it is a vicious cycle right now. One of the major things that I have debating in my head is religion. I know that a lot of people have issues with me trying to make up my mind on this, but it is a hard thing to really sit down and contemplate when have seen, experienced, and lived the things that I have lived. There is a major side of me that wants to believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost, but there is the side of me that I guess is the psychological side of me, plus my experience in Wicca, and the fact that I guess I have a hard time letting my life go to someone that I can’t see trusting him to let my life go to where he has already permanently set it to go. If that makes sense at all, because I just don’t know what to believe, and it is hard to work towards something when I don’t know where I want to go. Everyone says that I need to go to church and read the bible, I have tried both of those. The people at church seem like they are just part of an act sometimes, although some really do seem like they are happy and filled with happiness, and the bible just seems like a good story. You hear all these testimonials and stories about how they were just in awe over something that was shown to them or that referenced to their life, and it is something that I just haven’t seen. I am not someone that is asking for a big huge show or miracle to make me believe as most non-believers do, but something small that shows me that he is paying attention to what is going on in my life and is actually there with a helping hand. I want to honestly believe in God and Jesus so bad, but I don’t want to keep going to where I am not really into it and I am just pretending for everyone around me. I don’t like that, and I don’t know how to go about doing that, I am just sitting here speechless about it and in awe over the fact that I feel so stupid that I can’t even decide that.

			06:26 pm April 3rd, 2009

	The Pastor and His Son Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts. This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, "OK, dad, I'm ready." His Pastor dad asked, "Ready for what?" "Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out." Dad responds, "Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain." The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, "But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?' Dad answers, "Son, I am not going out in this weather." Despondently, the boy asks, "Dad, can I go? Please?" His father hesitated for a moment then said, "Son, you can go. Here are the tracts, be careful son." "Thanks Dad!" And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a Gospel Tract. After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST TRACT. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer. Finally, this eleven year old trooper turned to leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch! He rang again and this time the door slowly opened. Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, "What can I do for you, son?" With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that *JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU* and I came to give you my very last Gospel Tract which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE." With that, he handed her his last tract and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. 'Thank you, son... And God Bless You!" Well, the following Sunday morning in church Pastor Dad was in the pulpit. As the service began, he asked, 'Does anybody have testimony or want to say anything?' Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her feet. As she began to speak, a look of glorious radiance came from her face, "No one in this church knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Sunday I was not a Christian. My husband passed on some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live. So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof, then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away." I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly. I thought to myself again, 'Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me.' I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder. When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead, TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, "Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU." Then he gave me this Gospel Tract that I now hold in my hand. As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this Gospel Tract. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more. You see---I am now a Happy Child of the KING. Since the address of your church was on the back of this Gospel Tract, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell.' There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts of praise and honor to THE KING resounded off the very rafters of the building, Pastor Dad descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angel was seated. He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Probably no church has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love & honor for his son.... Except for One. Our Father also allowed His Son to go out into a cold and dark world. He received His Son back with joy unspeakable, and as all of heaven shouted praises and honor to The King, the Father sat His beloved Son on a throne far above all principality and power and every name that is named. Blessed are your eyes for reading this message. Don't let this message die, read it again and pass it to others. Heaven is for His people! Remember, God's message CAN make the difference in the life of someone close to you. Matthew 10:32 says: "Whoever acknowledges Me before men, I will acknowledge him before My Father in heaven. But whoever disowns Me before men, I will disown him before My Father in heaven."

			vastness filled