Fear de evil dat is me! (original) (raw)

Somewhere around the end of 2004 and the beginning of 2005 I put up a truly bizarre post. It was a continuation of an "Aliens vs Predator" thing I was doing...where I basically listed a whole bunch of random things for them to fight instead of each other. Like Godzilla, the Gummi Bears, NeoPets, Dragon Ball Z...

...which are about as unfair as you can get.

Somewhere in the initial writing of it I put up Jesus and then swiftly removed it. Not because I felt it violated any religious standard (basically a "no no") but because I felt that deserved a post all its own. It was a lot of fun to make and as I posted it widely the range of answers were very giggle worthy. Sure, some of it was preachy but overall it was a blast.

Think it's that time again.

On the offchance some of you are not familiar with the players here:

Predator: a hunting species with a brutal warriors code. While it is true they have strict rules against fighting the unarmed or those deemed not a threat I think that might be cast aside in order to make a trophy out of a guy that can walk on water, raise the dead, heal the sick with but a touch, and replicate food from next to nothing. Predators might not buy into the whole "Son of God" bit but that other stuff would make him all that more highly prized.

Aliens: a biomechanical hive type creature; (Acheronsis Linguefoda). The species lives on 3 fundamental drives; to kill, to breed, and to survive. Curious life cycle from egg to mobile embryo implanter (facehugger) to embryo to fully grown killing machine. They implant their embryos in living hosts which then explode out of that being's chest. Opinions vary but offspring sometimes take on attributes of that host. No specific intelligence but highly cunning and has molecular acid for blood.

While highly unlikely this one doesn't ring a bell...just in case:

Jesus of Nazareth: to those of the Christian faith this is the Messiah and Son of God. All around nice guy, very wise, likes helping people, a number of miraculous abilities, and he may even have been a carpenter in his own right.

So, the question I put to you is who do you think would win?

Alien vs Jesus: ???
Predator vs Jesus: ???

Depending on responses, I may put up another post in a month's time with the best answers.