Welcome to My World - April 14, 2004 (original) (raw)

7:17PM

so i walk downstairs to see if my mom has come to get me yet...she's already there waiting in the car. i walked over put my shit in the back. to make a long story short, she bitches and moans to me about having to wait outside (sorry i dont have telepathy so i know when you're coming mom) and how ignorant my dad is (he's ignorant and stupid if he comes up to get you everytime)

we get home after a long silent car ride, she doesn't wait for me, storms up the stairs, and slams the front door....right in my face. then she storms into her bedroom and starts yelling at my dad telling him he needs to get his act together. who the hell does she think she is?

"Well if you didn't have the friggin cod of silence crap today, you could have called me and then you would have known when i was coming to get you."

"I don't need to be wasting my time waiting outside a friggin libray for Molly."

"You two had better get your acts together now...and i mean right now!"

What a bitch. Tomorrow or sometime in the near future i'll bet you anything that she comes crawling to me..."oh molly, i'm so sorry i yelled at you. you didn't deserve it. i'm just going through a really hard time right now." B U L L S H I T. i can't fucking stand her. i mean its great that she apoogizes and everything...wait a minute...no its not. first i have t apologize for not doing shit and then i have to make it up to her by cleaning the whole fucking house, and THEN she'll apologize to me because she thinks that by apologizing, i'll forgive her and things will be okay between us. she couldn't be more wrong. i can't tell you the number of times that she's bitten my fucking head off for no god damn reason. she's the reason i went into the fucking looney bin in the first place. she was dumping all HER shit on me. having me watch 10 fucking daycare kids by myself, taking care of my sisters on top of that, cooking dinner, cleaning the house...you get the picture...for three months straight. that'll put any teenager in the nut house. i can feel it happening again and i'm thinking about going back in just to escape everything. i can't hide anywhere but there. NO WHERE. it'd be really easy actually...tell mom i just had pills in my hand and was wicked close to taking them...they'll call an ambulance...i'll go into the hospital where i'll get to watch tv, sleep, relax and my grades will be raised because of my "mental unstability". i'm really not seeing a dark side to this.

if i'm not in school...you know where i am. i know a few of you who'd like to join me. maybe we can work out a joint quote unquote suicide thing here. take a nice little vacation. we could have some good times.

Current mood: gloomy