My Journal (original) (raw)

What the? New format for updating scares me.

Just because I love quotes, you, too, must suffer.

"All murders are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." -Voltaire

"People dont go crazy. Their mind just becomes something a bit more entertaining."
-George Carlin

"Let us so live that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry."
-Mark Twain

"Laughter is like changing a babies diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while."

"I think I figured out why Americans are so stupid. Think about how stupid the Average American is. Well, HALF of 'em are stupider than THAT!" - George Carlin

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics" [M. Twain]

"Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?" - George Carlin

"You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up." - George Carlin

"Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers." - George Carlin

"Here’s another question I have. How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in goodness. Name 6 ways we’re better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? ‘Cause chickens are decent people. You don’t see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No, you don’t see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you? When’s the last chicken you heard about come home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? Doesn’t happen, ’cause chickens are decent people." - George Carlin

"Religion easily—has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money." - George Carlin

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin

"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal", "Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment." - George Carlin

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization." - George Carlin

"I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary." - George Carlin

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Einstein

Current Mood: contemplative