In the Jaws of Perpetual Singleness (original) (raw)

I've slipped in my habit of documenting my "are you kidding me" moments in the adventure land of online dating, but I think it's time to update with a few recent doozies.

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CC Email: "Well I just want to say that I do not want to date you but I think that you are very unique! :)

Me: Yes, thank you, that was my intention all along. While other little girls declared: "When I grow up I'm going to be a Mommy!" I said "Scratch that! When I grow up, I'm going to be UNIQUE!"

lol

And now I will cry in despair at the apparent futility of my efforts. :P

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If you're looking for a way to instantly make an impression the first time you interact with a girl in a chat session, try this one:

Marv: Happy New Years So marry me?
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Me: Hi? Nice to meet you first? lol
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Marv: so yes?
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.... And another Christian Cafe first time instant-message/chat session:

CC Guy: You have really nice hair

ME: Thank you

CC Guy: How long is it?

ME: The same length it is in the picture, it doesn't grow much beyond my waist

CC Guy: I love girls with long hair, it's very sexy
CC Guy: I would love to run my fingers through your hair and play with it

ME: Well seeing as this is the first time we talk, why don't we save that for another date, shall we?

CC Guy: Is it hard to manage?

ME: Not really, I condition it in the shower, braid it to go to bed, it's not that thick so it's manageable
ME: I have a friend whose hair is even longer than mine, down to her calves. I can imagine her hair maintenance is a lot more extensive

CC Guy: Wow!
CC Guy: Do you have a picture of your friend?

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