tales from the bedroom that made you laugh...'s Journal (original) (raw)

A few years back, I was dating a guy who was just a shade over 2 metres (204cm) tall. Petite little me, I am 164cm.

One day, Stretch decided he had heard a lot of good things about this shower sex thing, and really wanted to try it with me. Now shower sex is difficult at the best of times, but when your parter's groin is pretty much level with your boobs, it makes the task so much more difficult.

Stretch wasn't that great or inventive, me being his first partner, so when he suggested what to him was the equivalent of going to a Swingers Night Out, I was quite happy to comply. Anything to encourage innovation and imagination in my partners!

Anyway, we're in the shower, soap everywhere, and he's getting all pointy and wanting to play. It's then that it dawns on me that we have a huge problem.... one small shower and how the fuck am I supposed to climb Mount Tall Bastard & ride the magic penis?

We started sorting it out... his foot here, my foot there, one leg over his shoulder, him bent at the knees.... and it works surprisingly well...

Remember that soapy soapy floor?

Suddenly my left foot gave way under me, and I sliced my pinky toe & the one next to it almost clean to the bone.

We stopped. I screamed.

He bandaged my toes.

I was left with a limp for a few months while the injury healed.

To this day my left pinky toe curls to the left so that the toenail scrapes against the floor.