Teen Vamp (1989) (original) (raw)
Synopsis
A deliciously wicked story of a boy and his teeth.
An unimpressive, boring high-school geek is bitten and contracts vampirical symptoms, transforming him into a confident coolio.
Cast
Popular reviews
Virgin poindexter wants to get his pee-pee wet so he finds a lady of the night who also happens to be a vampire. Whoops! Cheap regional horror-comedy that is clearly trying to ride the wave of higher shelf cheese (Once Bitten, namely) but it’s so deeply unfunny & relentlessly aimless that it almost becomes something a little more interesting. Almost. Real bottom-of-the-moldy-VHS-bin stuff.
Why did every sex comedy feature the scene where a guy is in Sex Ed class and he gets a boner over like, fallopian tubes? Seriously, what kind of ghoulish Ed Gein motherfucker gets hard for internal organs just because they’re associated with the reproductive process? Anyway this is some real rough stuff.
April Movie Thon 5 B & S About Movies
April 20: Regional Horror
A regional horror movie
All of the Louisiana regional horror films will hold a special place in my heart. Even the ones from Shreveport.
An obvious attempt to cash in on Teen Wolf and 1950s nostalgia, Teen Vamp suffers by not exactly knowing the tone it wants to take. Does it want to be a sex comedy? Does it want to be a coming of age tale? Does it want to be a horror movie? I guess it wants all of these things, but like a restaurant that has too many items on the menu, Teen Vamp does not really excel at anything. I still kind of liked…
Has that Beverly Hills Vamp feel with '50 nostalgia in Louisiana, beautiful glowing eyes and enough homoerotic elements to make it interesting. Not great but I'm not going to fly to Louisiana to kick Lou's ass.
surprisingly tame (despite its R rating) post-Teen Wolf vampire riff on the coming-of-age comedy/horror genre that's neither horny or gory enough to sate genre fans but *just* goofy and charming enough to be a curiosity for anyone else -- cute and feels like a passion project for most people involved, which goes a long way for this type of thing
this makes up for being uh not very funny at all by having that regional low budget movie charm. a side effect of being a vampire in this movie is you immediately start saying things like "hey daddy-o
Teen Wolf whom?
Found this on vhs at the Salvation Army. Never had heard of it before. Great addition to my horror vhs collection.
Somewhat endless ninety minutes where the picture goes through different phases, from being a loser in high school with the most depressing atmosphere you can imagine, to retro southern vampire delirium and just when you think it would never come, the final "bloodbath".
It is painful at times but I think it has its value as one and only rarity.
"So instead of garlic and holy water, we've got onion and hose water."
This one is a doozy. Tries to be (obviously) a Teen Wolf rip off with a Back to the Future 50s sheen but fails miserably and becomes something much more interesting. Bad, but interesting.
The 50s theming is so half assed that it becomes almost dreamlike. Multiple scenes where only the main characters are in Fonzie drag while everyone around them and the world they inhabit are painfully 1988. Scenes where the dialog is overwhelmed by incessant bird calls that take place inside? Our lead becomes a vampire from visiting a motel bar and almost having sex with a vampire prostitute who looks like Cher in the…
Move over “Teen Wolf”. Actually it’s quite safe. Okay, this was cheaper looking than I was expecting. And I wonder how they managed to rope in Glu Gulager? Reminded me of a two-bit horror-comedy (which doesn’t always gel) take of Jim Carrey’s ‘Once Bitten’, but set in a Bible Belt town during the 1950’s.
A nerdy, unpopular teenager (Beau Bishop looking too old for the role... unless it’s an in-joke) is transformed into a glowing green eyed vampire after spending a night with a lady of the night in a sleazy motel. Suddenly he’s the talk of the high school, and his dream girl wants to get to know him. Still kooky, but a little darker and deadpan where the…
ain’t no way they tried to ID him with his 40 year old receding hairline
I watched a dvd version that looked and sounded quite awful, and still... I could see the potential for a cult horror-comedy in the style of a John Waters movie.
The acting is so bad that you just have to love it.