What's wrong with me?? (original) (raw)
liontaris 😟depressed
November 20 2001, 20:24
Listens: Karl Jenkins - Chorale II (Roosh Ka Ma)
I really don't know what it is anymore... I can't seem to stop hurting the one I love most: Lycan. It seems that every damn day, or at least every other day, I say or do something stupid and he gets hurt.
I feel like such an asshole!!!
Tonight, I just told him that I didn't like hearing him talking about his job so much. I mean, I'm glad he's working and I'm happy he likes his job, but yesterday, that was all he talked about. I felt like anything that I did was almost inconsequential and that my day was a total waste. I had nothing to say, and anything I did say was sorta dwarfed by his stories. I had no stories to tell and that bugged me... I always like
trading
stories... but a trade is a two-sided thing... If I have nothing to contribute, then it's not a trade... it's a monologue ... and I hate monologues... I can't even comment beyond "Oy" or "Hmmm." or "Nifty"... I don't like conversations like that. 'S why Quasi and I fought. I had nothing to talk about. My life was dull and his was going somewhere, so I got to hear him talk about himself ad nauseam. Made me sad.
If you read this, Lycan, I'm sorry, my darling, and I can't make up for the stuff I do... I can't afford Timbits for every time I fuck up... I'd be owning Tim Horton's if I did...