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so, i had a bit of a breakdown yesterday...threatening to kill myself to tim, a friend who means a lot to me and i'm not sure why i put him through that. he was threatening to call butler and i got really scared. i was seriously contemplating doing it too, but usually i just want to do it to express how much pain i am in...yanno, just get really close to death so i can show how bad everything is and overcome it, and come out even stronger. something like that. i don't actually want to die most of the time. mostly the times i really consider it is really impulsive thoughts, and thoughts that tell me i will be better off if i die, that it will make other people happy because they won't have to deal with me any longer and that i won't have to face my doom of depression sneaking up on me time after time. but i'm over it as of now...though, usually around this time of day things get bad =(
but yeah. i'll be okay.

I just wanted to announce I am leaving, since this is never updated anymore. Good Luck to everyone.

Name: Mary Age: 22 Diagnosis: Bipolar I with Psychotic Tendencies; last episode depressive along with Anorexia Nervosa; restricting type Currently…

The only difference now, then when things got bad from before (I have very few "good times" to begin with), "bad" meaning there are times I literally…