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Heyy Loves<3 I am feeling this FAT FRIDAY. I don't even know what was wrong with me this week. I ate a disgusting amount of calories almost everyday. sure they were under my technical "normal" amount but to me they are disgustingly high. I feel so sore and achey all over still from the car accident. I have been taking motrion for almost a week and it isnt helping me. Cannot wait for monday to start so i can feel fresh and renewed. I took 3 maxium strength laxatives about an hour ago. Haven't taken those since august. i just had such an urge and i had been fighting with it for a while and i caved and now i am waiting for them to kick in. I know i know. they don't help you lose real weight. just water weight. but that honest to god isn't even why i take them. i feel i deserve to be punished for eatting. i want it out of my body. i feel clearner and cleansed when i take them. I am just sitting here and i can actually feel my stomach getting fatter. my legs getting fatter. this is such a damn shitty feeling. god my progress report today for school and i am doing really well. higher then 85 in everything and in history i have a 99 and in phyics i have between an 85-90. i can actually say i am almost excited to get my report card in 5 more weeks. only now i need to be even harder on myself to keep these grades as high as they are. i need to be completely focused on losing weight and getting good grades. oh boy what a lovly life i lead.

anyone wanna talk? i feel sad and lonley and don't wanna leave myself with all these thoughts. SGallagher1992@hotmail.com is my MSN if anyone is on.

XOXO I love you all<3 its almost HALLOWEEN! that means it is almost NOVEMBER. this year is flying by. can't even believe it.