What can Dialysis generate? (original) (raw)

A fanfic of the Mario Universe!!! Here's the first installment:

The Rise & Fall Of Jumpman

"He's a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land, making all his nowhere plans for nobody"

The sun crept over the window pane and slowly the rays made their way over to Mario's face. It was that hazy sun that only can be seen from Brooklyn (Maybe New Jersey too.) . "Good Morning Brooklyn! Your listening to your #1 radio station, 88.1 WBRK. It's 6 O'clock and it is a blazing 80 degrees outside to-". Click! Mario hated that radio station but the DJ was annoying enough to wake him up in the morning. With a slight grumble he rolled out of bed and into the his work clothes. He had another day of monotonous work ahead of him. Mario hated his job. As a matter of fact Mario hated many things about his life. He couldn't stand his job, he couldn't stand his girlfriend, and he hated Brooklyn. He was however content for the moment to take what he could until some better oppurtunity would fall into his hands.
Presently Mario heard a voice screaming outside of his apartment for his twin brother Luigi who was at the moment barracading the front door to the apartment. "What the hell did you do now?" asked Mario. Luigi, while being for the most part a brilliant kind-hearted person, was a terrible coward. "Umm...W-W-ario's outs-s-side," whimpered Luigi. "You forgot to pay the rent again didn't you?" Luigi with the last wits about him looked up at Mario and said, "You know what to do." Mario without second thought grabbed his work bag and made a dash for the nearest window. Following close behind him was Luigi and then bursting through the front door with a brutal shove was their landlord, Wario. "Youse sons of a bitches! Youse a get out of here and never come back!" Mario and Luigi were already on the ground and down the block while Wario was dismembering what little furniture the two brothers had collected over the years.
"See ya later brother!" and Luigi passed out of sight. Mario made his way to the construction site. He was at this particular time a poor carpenter. He had spent a good portion of his life in or around construction sites. Eventually one of the foremen got tired of seeing him around and decided that if he was going to be hanging around he might as well work. While being on these sites he developed one of his best skills, his jumping ability. From beam to beam he would leap and not think twice about it. While the other workers would have to take lifts to get up high, Mario could simply scale a wall with ease. This was also a great skill to have when evading a psycopathic landlord.
Today would be a boring day because he would be working on the bottom floor and there would be no chance to try and please Pauline. She was the daughter of his foremen. She was also Mario's current girlfriend and a pain to deal with. However Mario did have some feelings for her and these feelings would more or less make him try and impress her everytime she came around. Pauline, though, never was impressed. She liked Luigi alot better. He was a plumber who owned his business and made much more money then Mario. Even though Luigi was more successful than Mario, he was always over-shadowed by him. This made Luigi slightly jealous of his brother, however he was more inclined to look up to him.
The sun was now up and running, and it was making the walk miserable. Sweat was pouring down Mario's back. One of the unfortunate side effects of being Italian is the beads of sweat at the slightest hint of heat. As Mario rounded the corner he saw the skyscraper. This particular project he had been working on was special for him. It was a brand new building that was supposed to rival the Empire State Building and give Brooklyn a new tourist spot. The people all have seen the bridge too much and were getting tired of it. Due to it's large size Mario was able to get a lot of practice with his jumping ability. So much so that he had acquired a nickname, Jumpman. "Hey Jumpman! How you doin' eh?" "You gonna reach that peak today Jumpman?" "Hey asshole get to work!" That last one was the foreman. Mario wanted nothing more than to just tell him off. "I need the money. I need the money," was Mario's mantra every day of the week. Today he added a new line to it. "I need to find a new place."
Mario walked in the basement where you could smell the freshly dried cement. He would be covering all this cement with new wood flooring for a little dance club which was to be the basement of this massive building. While it was slightly cooler being surrounded by cement there was no ceiling yet and the sun, which had now crept towards 90 degrees, was beating down on the area where he would be working. "Hey look at what brought today," said a co-worker. It was a transister radio. "Oh no please anything but.." "Hey oh you're listening to 88.1 WBRK Brooklyn's #1 radio station, hope you're enjoying this blazing hot day, here's a little something special for all the people out there...." The song that played made Mario want to vomit. It was "Summer in the City" by The Lovin' Spoonful. Mario's mantra now was, "Today is gonna suck."
At noon a small whistle went off to signal lunch. Mario had a humble meal of Fruit and water. Money was pretty tight these days. After quickly finishing his meal he noticed that Pauline was walking by. With a mad dash Mario made his way up to the ground level and started scaling the beams. And when he was high enough he made a enormus leap over the fence and onto the sidewalk, right in front a Pauline's path. With a dis-interested look she said,"Oh, Hi Mario." "What you doin' over here?" "I came to see Daddy, he's been having trouble with his records. So I'm comming to straighten them out." "Is it really that bad?" "His bosses are starting to get concerned. How's Luigi doing?" "He forgot to pay the rent again. But I'm sure he's doin fine in the whatever fetal position he has chosen for himself." "Oh be nice Mario, you know he has some issues." "Issues! That guy is afraid of his own shadow." "Well you would be too if you had the brains and brawn like him." Mario gave a look that would pierce a whale's stomach. "What's that supposed to mean?" "Oh nothing, nothing. You're always so supicious, come walk with me. Did you have lunch?" "Yes maam." "But I mean a real lunch. Not that old fruit and stagnant water. Come on I'll treat you today"
They walked around the corner to a small pizzeria. Pauline may not have been the bst girlfriend but she was always good for a free meal. Mario had a small bowl of linguini and Pauline had a ceasar salad. While eating Mario noticed the TV that was on. Milan was losing right now to Napoli 3-0. "Those soccer players stink," thought Mario. He looked around and saw the Owner loving every minute of the game. Apparently he was from Napoli. "Hey buddy could you put on the news," asked Mario. The owner with the satisfaction that his team had basically won, turned the channel. The channel was running the usual stories; War, Greed, Politics. Then they ran some breaking news. Apparently a 800 pound gorilla, who was being transported to the Bronx zoo from a Japanese zoo broke free from his handlers as soon as his boat arrived. He had a red tie around his neck and was last seen heading towards Brooklyn. "I can't believe people treat animals like that," whined Pauline. "Like what?" replied Mario. "Like they don't mean anything. Like they are worthless." "Well we do things like keep animals in zoos so we can observe and study them. We take care of them and feed them. What more could you ask?" "But wouldn't they have a better chance in their natural habitat?" "Of course. But then we wouldn't be able to study and enjoy them. You know these gorillas could give us clues as to where we come from." "Well I think all living creatures should be set free and treated with respect. We hurt way to many creatures. That's why I'm a vegeterian." "You're a vegetarian because you don't like hurting defenseless creatures?" "Absolutely." "You do realize that the salad you are eating is a living creature, right?" Pauline looked up in mid chew with a puzzled look on her face. "No it isn't." "Plants are living creatures just the same as animals are." "You're full of it" "Think about it, they grow up, they get old and withered and eventually die. Same thing as any animal." Pauline stopped for a second and with a look of confidence said," Yea, but plants aren't cute." At that moment the whistle blew. "Well I gotta get back to work," said Mario as he rushed out of the Pizzeria."Now I know why flowers never impress her," thought Mario. When he had left, the owner turned back to the game. Napoli was now losing 4-3.
With a bound he leaped the fence and was back to work in no time. He looked around and he saw something that gave him cause for alarm. The construction site was all but destroyed. All the flooring he had been working on all morning was ruined with giant footprints thatwent right through them. Some of the beams were all contorted and bent. The structure of the building had basically altered to a terrible mishapen mess. "Where the hell have you been?!" cried the foreman. "Lunch sir," replied a stunned Mario. "Well ain't thar fantastic. While you were off on your luncheon appointment, we've been doin damage control with a dumb gorilla." "Hey I heard about that on the news." "Well La-Di-Freakin-Da. Do me a favor and cut the talkin' and go and find the sonofabitch." "You lost a 800 pound gorilla?" "He's a fast animal, and apparently a master at hide and seek. Go find him."
Mario now had a job he mildly enjoyed. Anything was better than laying floor down, which he would have to re-do now because of this dumb gorilla. While he was searching some of the trash bins Pauline came back from the Pizzeria. "That owner guy got really mad after you left," said Pauline. Mario nodded but really wasn't paying too much attention to her. However she would not be deterred. "So daddy's books are really messed up. He's spent waaaay too much money on this project. I really don't see why you guys needed all this expensive equipment. It just sits there. Say does Luigi have any old shoes that he needs to get rid of because I'm collecting clothes for--" 15 minutes later she was still talking. Mario all but punched her in the face. She after finally tiring herself out bothering Mario stopped for a second and actually looked at where she was. "What are you doin' here Mario?"Mario sighed and said,"You remember that gorilla that loose, well it made it's way into Brooklun and trashed the place. It's still somewhere on the site, and if you haven't noticed we are all lo--" Mario didn't finish his sentence because a blood curdling scream came into his ears. He whirled around to see a giant ape standing behind him. He had a barrel in one hand and Pauline in the other.
"Marioooooo, help meeeeeeeeeeeeee!" screamed Pauline. "Go get him Jumpman!" cried the foremen. The ape turned and began to climb the beams. Up and up he climbed till he was at the top. Once there he began to jump on the beams, contorting them even more. Mario quickly rushed over to his tool box and pulled out his favorite hammer. Seeing that the ape wasn't paying attention to him, Mario slowly made his way up the beams level by level. When he had gone half way he was careless and let himself be seen by the ape. It is never a good idea to try and get between an ape and his prize. The gorilla looked around and began to toss whatever he had around him. These objects were big barrels filled with cement mix, which he lifted and threw with ease. However Mario was juggernaut to look at. Every barrel that came near Mario was either destroyed by Mario's hammer or he nimbly dodged it. Slowly Mario made his way to the top and he stood toe to toe with beast. He was awful to look at. He was dirty, brown, drooling, and had every instinct of a brainless animal. Yet someone thought it would be a good idea to put a red tie around his neck. The beast roared at Mario, almost as if to say, "Yeah go ahead see what happens." Pauline who had been put behind the ape on a raise platform was not helping what so ever. "Come on Mario help me! But don't hurt him, he's kinda cute." It would be safe to say that Mario was pretty well scared now, but he was also at his peak performance. With his hammer he began beating the a Ape on his giant arms. Blow after blow he gave, however the beast was just too powerful. Pauline turned on Mario."Oh just go, you can't do anything, You'll never amount to anything," she cried. When Mario heard this he lost his will. He went to give a final stroke but it never happened. The beast saw his chance and with a shove he pushed Mario off the ledge. Before Mario blacked out he saw the beast beating his chest and giving his version of a hearty laugh.

* * *

When Mario came to he was in a hospital bed. In the next second he realized two things. First he couldn't move, and secondly he was in pain. He looked around his room and saw his brother sitting next to him sleeping. When he heard his brother stir a little he woke up. "Oh thank goodness," cried Luigi. Mario tried to speak but he couldn't because he was in a body cast. "Don't move brother, You're gonna be there for awhile. Well you are probably wondering what happened. Well as it turned out your foreman called the cops right after Pauline got kidnapped. They had actually got there pretty quickly but they saw you already trying to take care of that stupid monkey. So they just hung around to see what was gonna happen. The second you got knocked off they hit the gorilla with a tranquilizer dart and he fell on top of you. Which is pretty much why you got hurt as much as you did. Sigh you've been in a coma for three weeks. Although it hasn't been all terrible. Pauline was nice enough to set us up in a nice litt place on Dean Street. She's been really nice" Luigi got really silent for a second. Mario could basically guess what the next words were going to be. "Mario, I'm gonna say something that's going to hurt but it needs to be said. Pauline had an affair while you were in a coma. Wait there's more, it was sorta, kinda, with me, Now don't get excited you are in a lot of pain, but I called it off after I found out she had a real weird animal fetish. Yea I know weird huh. Anyway I'm really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me. Man wait till you see the place we are living now. Right above an awesome bar called Freddy's. It'll be fantastic. Alright I'm gonna go now. I have some things to take care of. But if you need anything call me. I love you man, don't ever do that to me again." Mario wished that he was still in his coma after that terrible pep talk. Luckily a nurse came in and pumped some painkillers in him. One thing he knew was that it would be a long time before Jumpman would be back in action.