Me, Myself and My Room (original) (raw)

i feel compelled	[Mar. 5th, 2008\|10:09 am]vo'an
[Current Location \|McMicken] [Current Mood	ouch] [Current Music	This Dying Soul - Dream Theater]Yesterday morning, Gary Gygax, the creator and co-author of the original Dungeons and Dragons, passed away. He had been sick for a while, but still, this news hurts. I read about it, but it didn't it me until just now.I've never really played any of his games, only coming onto the D&D scene post-3.5, but I, like all other role-players, have felt his impact, and to lose one such as he hurts just enough.I feel the urge to rush out and purchase the Red Box, just so I and my friends can stumble our way through it tonight, in honor of him.I have a feeling that those who care, already know, and those who don't, won't be effected.RegardlessNoah
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(no subject)	[Nov. 20th, 2007\|10:49 pm]vo'an

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(no subject)	[Oct. 12th, 2007\|11:48 am]vo'an
lollolololloolololoolololollollololo"But do you understand what the New York Times wants, and the far-left want? They want to break down the white, Christian, male power structure, which you’re a part, and so am I, and they want to bring in millions of foreign nationals to basically break down the structure that we have."-Bill O´ReillyI hate that man so much, and yet, when I read this, I laugh.Noah
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[Oct. 12th, 2007|11:48 am]vo'an

lollolololloolololoolololollollololo"But do you understand what the New York Times wants, and the far-left want? They want to break down the white, Christian, male power structure, which you’re a part, and so am I, and they want to bring in millions of foreign nationals to basically break down the structure that we have."-Bill O´ReillyI hate that man so much, and yet, when I read this, I laugh.Noah

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(no subject)	[Oct. 8th, 2007\|02:33 pm]vo'an
[Current Location \|Starbucks, UC, Ohio] [Current Music	Six - Chimaira]I would start all over, except I would Butterfly-effect it right out.25: I laugh with my family.26: I laze the day south.27: I read, alone.28: I divert disaster.29: I exhale.-I maintain that this isn't all my fault, but I do know I have my fair share of blame.-I hope some day Steve can forgive me.-Noahp.s. I almost said something truly mean today. I wanted to. The shitty part is that what I thought was completely true. It just also happened to be unkind. I will be better than this, however. I can't let myself degenerate. If I do, it won't ever end, and my depression with worsen.
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[Oct. 8th, 2007|02:33 pm]vo'an

[Current Location |Starbucks, UC, Ohio] [Current Music

Six - Chimaira]I would start all over, except I would Butterfly-effect it right out.25: I laugh with my family.26: I laze the day south.27: I read, alone.28: I divert disaster.29: I exhale.-I maintain that this isn't all my fault, but I do know I have my fair share of blame.-I hope some day Steve can forgive me.-Noahp.s. I almost said something truly mean today. I wanted to. The shitty part is that what I thought was completely true. It just also happened to be unkind. I will be better than this, however. I can't let myself degenerate. If I do, it won't ever end, and my depression with worsen.

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I'm mad, if you didn't notice, which explains the numerous posts	[Oct. 3rd, 2007\|03:09 pm]vo'an
[Current Location \|Langsam Library, UC, Ohio] [Current Mood	Seething] [Current Music	By Your Command - Ziltoid The Omniscient]You are a mirror of all the crap you dislike in your parents.-Demanding is a good word I'd use right now. And sorry doesn't cut it.-Remember when I couldn't tell you anything to help, way back on that Friday night, after you let me read your "list"/slambook?Well, I can think of a couple things now.-Noahp.s. And to everyone I'm not talking to right now, I'm sorry that you must read this. I just can't handle having it sit inside my head anymore. It is poisening my attempts to enjoy my life.p.p.s. And to you I am talking about,
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(no subject)	[Oct. 3rd, 2007\|02:39 pm]vo'an
[Current Location \|McMicken, UC, Ohio] [Current Music	The Little Things Give You Away - Linkin Park]Just let it fall away.The little things give you away.Regardless of her, I walked away.-I've realized that for me to actually be happy, I have to work towards the explicit goal of my happiness. I derive enjoyment from helping others, playing games, walking, all of it. But for me to be happy, I must do things, go into things striving for my own happiness. I don't even have to think, "This is going to make me happy.", I just require something that truely grabs me, with or without anyone else's input. If a friend says, "Noah, let's go to this show.", and I have my reservations, but I go anyways, and it turns out to be fun, then great. I had a good night. But if I decide to attend a show, alone or with others (as with Eclipse), and I enjoy it, that aura of good feelings will follow me for days.I like knowing this. It explains a lot of things.-We were chatting, and I made a joke, as I do. I'd made other jokes in the conversation, and for the most part, she shrugged them off, because even though she's never said it, she doesn't like my style of humor at all. I know this, but as she's never had the guts to tell me, I let it be, because I enjoy my humor, and I tell my jokes for myself, mainly.She didn't like this joke very much, and responded vehemetly. I told her that it's a joke, and it's not meant to be taken seriously. She said, "I don't think it's funny." with more than enough vitriol.So I turned my iPod back on, and we walked in silence for a moment. When I realized she would wait for me to apologize before saying anything herself, I resumed my natural walking speed, and walked away.I sometimes wonder why w-I don't remember the last time I was explicitly malicious. Oh, I do things that hurt others. (Just ask Emma, I know she has a list somewhere.) But I don't ever think "Oh man, I want to hurt X, so I'm going to do Y." I try really hard to stay away from that, because I know it can never end well, and it always incurs ill feelings.I sure do think about doing mean stuff to people, though. All the time...Que objections.-Noahp.s Holy shit, I know. I tell awful jokes that poke fun at things that shouldn't be joked about, like AIDS, and 9/11, and dead babies, and the transition from one sex to the other. Big surprise.p.p.s. Dreaming of screaming/Someone get me out of my mind, I hate these thoughts I can't denyp.p.p.s. I know how I feel when I'm around you/I don't know how I feel when I'm around you
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[Oct. 3rd, 2007|02:39 pm]vo'an

[Current Location |McMicken, UC, Ohio] [Current Music

The Little Things Give You Away - Linkin Park]Just let it fall away.The little things give you away.Regardless of her, I walked away.-I've realized that for me to actually be happy, I have to work towards the explicit goal of my happiness. I derive enjoyment from helping others, playing games, walking, all of it. But for me to be happy, I must do things, go into things striving for my own happiness. I don't even have to think, "This is going to make me happy.", I just require something that truely grabs me, with or without anyone else's input. If a friend says, "Noah, let's go to this show.", and I have my reservations, but I go anyways, and it turns out to be fun, then great. I had a good night. But if I decide to attend a show, alone or with others (as with Eclipse), and I enjoy it, that aura of good feelings will follow me for days.I like knowing this. It explains a lot of things.-We were chatting, and I made a joke, as I do. I'd made other jokes in the conversation, and for the most part, she shrugged them off, because even though she's never said it, she doesn't like my style of humor at all. I know this, but as she's never had the guts to tell me, I let it be, because I enjoy my humor, and I tell my jokes for myself, mainly.She didn't like this joke very much, and responded vehemetly. I told her that it's a joke, and it's not meant to be taken seriously. She said, "I don't think it's funny." with more than enough vitriol.So I turned my iPod back on, and we walked in silence for a moment. When I realized she would wait for me to apologize before saying anything herself, I resumed my natural walking speed, and walked away.I sometimes wonder why w-I don't remember the last time I was explicitly malicious. Oh, I do things that hurt others. (Just ask Emma, I know she has a list somewhere.) But I don't ever think "Oh man, I want to hurt X, so I'm going to do Y." I try really hard to stay away from that, because I know it can never end well, and it always incurs ill feelings.I sure do think about doing mean stuff to people, though. All the time...Que objections.-Noahp.s Holy shit, I know. I tell awful jokes that poke fun at things that shouldn't be joked about, like AIDS, and 9/11, and dead babies, and the transition from one sex to the other. Big surprise.p.p.s. Dreaming of screaming/Someone get me out of my mind, I hate these thoughts I can't denyp.p.p.s. I know how I feel when I'm around you/I don't know how I feel when I'm around you

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(no subject)	[Sep. 20th, 2007\|02:09 pm]vo'an
[Current Location \|McMicken] [Current Mood	silence] [Current Music	Powerslave - Iron Maiden]I, uh...It's been a while.I'm struggling toI don't have actual control over my emotions. Did anyone here know that? I keep running into myself, and my stumbling grows me weary.My mind is constantly filled with anger. I can't escape it, especially when I walk alone.I don't like this language barrier you suddenly erected. Talking to you used to be enjoyable. Now, it's slow, and you don't mind only as long as I'm fast.I worry about this quarter.For a linguist, I sure do resist learning these languages.Noah
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(no subject)	[Aug. 23rd, 2007\|03:52 pm]vo'an
[Current Location \|Langsam Library] [Current Mood	peaceful] [Current Music	Black Heart - Chimaira]No. 6 - She needs closeness to feel sexual; you need sex to feel closeThis is the fundamental impenetrable puzzle of love. I have no idea what to do about this. But great husbands have this reality in mind at all times. from:http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=sex.relationships&category=couples&conitem=f63a99edbbbd201099edbbbd2010cfe793cd____I love that. I forget it a lot, though.Noah
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