Sportstalk and all that implies (original) (raw)

I regret almost everything I've done this year giving up more than anyone else. I now realize more than ever why I'm not big on family. My dad having cancer and being seriously sick has become a nightmare. I'm so sick of my family dumping everything on me and calling me all day and all night. I wish I would have kept to a limiting role because everyone else has acted like little kids. I feel like my life is slipping away and not coming back because of this situation. I'm about to seriously fucking snap on everyone and not give a damn. God please take me away from the drama. I can't take anymore I hate it all now.

Current Music: Charles Hamilton - Happy Ending

This year wasn't at all what I wanted it to be. Giving too much time to situations that in all honesty were a waste of time. I think the last few months of the year I've done a better job. This year can be summarized as a the outcome of the prior 3 years. Seeing everything and everyone for who they really are. When I ran into Chante last Sunday at Walgreen's and I tried to be nice and she ignored me that summed up the year. I was mad at first but realized deep down all the time in past I spent with her wasn't going anywhere. This year puts the end to all the going and forth that I did with her. This month has been a reality check in that I've got to start make the right decisons for the long term. Working 40 hour a week job and nelecting school can't happen anymore. All it's going to do is turn me into shattered dream like so many others. I've have to get my degree because that's me and however it has to happen I've go to make it happen. I'm too old now to be stuck in the same mode. In 2008 I'm going to have to make a lot of tough choices. But it's where I've put myself because of the choices I've made since 2004. It's no more evident than the people I have run into this month. It's tells me do what's right and get things done period!

Current Music: Lupe Fiasco - Streets On Fire

I'm not sure why I'm posting about this but It's such a relief to see her...GONE! My boss got fired today after being about the most obnoxious person you will ever meet. It was just a matter of time but it a shock when it happens a week before Christmas. I hate to see anyone lose their job but she didn't deserve to work anymore. She was everything that's wrong with black women in 2007. Now I don't have to dread having her always talking down to me anymore. The longest two months I've had working under someone.

Current Music: Joe Budden - All of Me

I'm fearless, now hear this, I'm earless (less)
and I'm peerless (less), which means I'm eyeless
which means I'm tearless which means my iris
resides where my ears is, which means I'm blinded
But I'ma find it, I can feel it's nearness
But I'ma veer so I don't come near
Like a chicken or a deer, but I remember
I'm not a listener or a seer so my windshield smear
Here you steer, I really shouldn't be behind this
Clearly cause my blindness; the windshield is min-strel
The whole grill is roadkill, so trill and so sincere
Yeah, I'm both them there
Took both pills, when a bloke in a trench coat
and the locs in the chair had approached him here
And he clear as a ghost, so a biter of the throats in the mirror
The writer of the quotes for the ghosts
who supplier of the notes to the living
Riveting is rosy, pockets full of posies
Given to the mother of the deceased
Awaken at war, 'til I'm restin' in peace

You goin over niggaz heads, Lu ("Dumb it down!")
They tellin' me that they'on't feel you ("Dumb it down!")
We ain't graduate from school, nigga ("Dumb it down!")
Them big words ain't cool, nigga ("Dumb it down!")
Yeah I heard "Mean and Vicious", nigga ("Dumb it down!")
Make a song for the bitches, nigga! ("Dumb it down!")
We don't care about the weather nigga ("Dumb it down!")
You'll sell more records if you ("Dumb it down!")

And I'm mouthless, which means I'm soundless
Now as far as the hearing, I've found it
It was as far as the distance from the earring to the ground is
But the doorknockers on the ear of a stewardess in a Lear
She fine and she flyin, I feel I'm flying by 'em
cause my mind's on cloud nine and I'm a mime at the same time
Pimps see the wings on the underground king
Who's also Klingon, to infinity and beyond
Something really stinks, but I Sphinx like Leon
or lying/lion in the desert
I'm flying on Pegasus, you're flying on the pheasant
Writer of the white powder, picker of the fire flowers
Spit, "hot fyah" like Dylan on Chappelle's skit
Yeah, smell it on my unicorn
Snort the white horse, but toot my own horn - sleep

You've been shedding too much light, Lu ("Dumb it down!")
You make'em wanna do right, Lu ("Dumb it down!")
They're gettin self-esteem, Lu ("Dumb it down!")
These girls are trying to be queens, Lu ("Dumb it down!")
They're trying to graduate from school, Lu ("Dumb it down!")
They're startin to think that smart is cool, Lu ("Dumb it down!")
They're trying to get up out the hood, Lu ("Dumb it down!")
I'll tell you what you should do ("Dumb it down!")

And I'm brainless, which means I'm headless -
like Ichabod Crane is
Or foreplay-less sex is, which makes me stainless (less)
with no neck left to hang the chain with
Which makes me necklace-less, like a necklace theft
and I ain't used my headrest yet
They said they need proof like a vestless chest
'bout the best, fair F-F jet in the nest
Who exudes confidence and, excess depth
Even Scuba Steve would find it hard to breathe
Around these leagues...my snorkel is a tuba
Lu the ruler around these seas
Westside Poseidon, Westside beside 'em
Chest high and rising, almost touching the knees
of stewardess and the pilot, lucky they make it flowered
Personal floating devices, tricks falling out of my sleeves
David Blaine, make it rain...
Make a boat, I make a plane
Then, I pull the plug and I, make it drain
Until I feel like flowin and fillin it up again...
Westsiiiide

You puttin me to sleep, nigga ("Dumb it down!")
That's why you ain't poppin in the streets, nigga! ("Dumb it down!")
You ain't winnin no awards nigga! ("Dumb it down!")
Robots and skateboards, nigga?! ("Dumb it down!")
GQ Man of the Year, G? ("Dumb it down!")
Shit ain't rockin over here, B ("Dumb it down!")
Won't you talk about your cars nigga? ("Dumb it down!")
What the fuck is “Goyard” nigga ("Dumb it down!")
Make it rain for the chicks ("Dumb it down!")
Po' CHAMPAGNE on a bitch!! ("Dumb it down!")
What the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU?! ("Dumb it down!")
...How can I get on a song with you? ("Dumb it down!")

Look B, here's my man, my two-way...
Uh...what should I...ah - here take this
That right there, fuck if my boys'll talk about me, nigga
Nigga, you hot to me! I like you! ("Dumb it down!")

Bishop G, they told me I should come down cousin
but I flatly refuse I AIN'T DUMB DOWN NUTTIN...

As the year is almost over I'm starting realize how I need to make better decisions. Now nobody else to rely on it's all on me. It's not like I didn't see this coming years ago but now it's time. I have to understand whatever it takes for me to excel is what I have to do. I get tired of everyone trying to have their two cents about me. Most don't even think on my level so don't understand the decisions I make. It's more apparent since I spend less and less time with friends. At least from this time last year I'm doing a lot better when it comes to doing things just because. Letting people from the past stay there and not trying to make things work. Time to put things in my life in a permanent place.