mercuriosity, posts by tag: work - LiveJournal (original) (raw)

The official scientific consensus 'round these parts is that it's way too fucking hot. Stephen Caturin chimes in at this point to offer his decided agreement. Recommended course of action is to drink lots of water, lie around in one's shorts going "ugh" a lot, and use the excuse to eat ice cream for dinner.

In related news, my summer job started last week, and it really sucks having to wear grown-up clothes in this kind of weather. I have definite envy of my students, who show up to class in sandals, breezy t-shirts, shorts, and other vacationy wear. On the other hand, "I need work clothes" is a great excuse to go shopping, and I do kind of enjoy the challenge of putting together "biz cas" outfits (I think of it as grownup drag).

The students are 14-17, mostly European. My current class makeup is 12 French, 2 Russian. Fun fact: In Taiwan, I taught elementary and junior high students, and at NYU I've TAed a couple of undergrad classes. Now I'm teaching high-schoolers--filling in the gap in my CV, as it were. I was definitely somewhat worried about teaching surly teens at first, but after a week I think I've found my feet, and (maybe I just got lucky but) the kids in my class are all pretty good, attitude-wise, as long as I keep them interested. The great thing about teens at an intermediate level is that they have definite interests and opinions, and the vocabulary to talk about them, so it's not hard to find topics to build lessons around--topics that won't put me to sleep, either. The other day I bonded with a student over anime (and a preference for subtitles), and yesterday the entire lesson was about clothing. These are things I can talk about.

( Cut for blather about teaching in generalCollapse )

After weeks of my normal summer routine of sleeping in way too much and being completely unmotivated to do anything, it was a bit of a shock to have to wake up in time to get ready for work by 9am, every day, Monday through Friday. Suddenly, I have a schedule (I teach from 9-12, then afterwards I run errands or take a nap or go to appointments or work a little on my Big Paper). It's actually really good for me, even though it's painful sometimes (6:30am? I didn't even remember there was a 6:30am). I sleep better, I feel better, and, paradoxically, I get more done when I have less time to do it. Last week in therapy we talked a lot about routine and small, achievable goals (like daily teaching) versus open-endedness and large, nebulous goals (like my PhD work)--how they each make me feel, the advantages and disadvantages of both, and finding the balance that's best for me. Even though it's nothing I haven't thought/said/realized before--that I do better with some routine and structure with my life, and that large, nebulous goals can cause me a lot of anxiety--it felt like something happened, like I made some progress. Maybe it was a realization that what I need is to find the right balance of the two, and that perhaps that balance is more weighted toward the former than I previously considered? That balance is good is sort of obvious, but I think maybe that second part is what's been holding me back. I didn't/don't want to admit how much routine I might need, because...routine is for boring people? ...because if I were brilliant and self-motivated enough I wouldn't get so anxious about self-directed research? ...because basically I have a lot of messed up ideas that make me unhappy and that's why I pay someone to help me untangle them?

Yeah, maybe that.

Anyway, blah blah blah, my days are full and tiring now, but it feels a lot better than sitting around waiting for anxiety and negative thoughts to rise to the surface. Also: meditation. I'm trying to do this. This is like, duh, of course try meditation, but actually taking it seriously is kind of a new thing for me, and (surprise) I have some Thoughts--but that's another post.

I'm also trying to think less sometimes. Obviously, journal time is not one of those times, ha.

View original entry | comment(s) | Leave a comment

I seem to be full of rage lately; this time, directed at the company I'm working for. I have to teach a storybook in one of my classes that ends with, I shit you not, the words:

So you see, the greatest challenge in life for a boy is to FIND that special girl.

And of course, the greatest challenge in life for a girl is to KEEP that special boy!

Which doesn't even convey the half of how appalling this book is. First of all, it's all about a boy's struggle to get a girl to give him the time of day, and it's written in second-person--"you will find the perfect girl, you will do anything to get her to like you"--thereby assuming that the audience is male, or that the male perspective is the default, and I'm teaching this to a class in which there are ten girls and two boys--

Second, the boy keeps offering this girl various things--a diamond ring, all his toys, &c.--if she'll marry him; all of which she snootily declines, saying, "I will never, never marry you!" Until, as a "last resort" the boy offers "all his money"--to which the girl responds with enthusiasm: "Yes, I will surely marry you!" At which point the boy says, "Wait, since you only want my money and not me, then I will never, never marry you!"

Ho ho, greedy bitch got what she deserved for fulfilling the role and the stereotype that this book is teaching as the norm anyway. Girls, your greatest challenge and biggest ambition in life is to snare the eye of some guy so that he'll shower gifts on you, but if you only like him for his money then fuck you, you're a gold digger?

All of it dressed up and illustrated to look fucking cute.

Is there anything that is not wrong here? I'm furious. My hands were shaking as I read this book, and I actually sat down and cried a little, I was so angry--angry and frustrated, thinking: What can I do? What can I possibly do about this situation?

In this same classroom, there's an illustrated world map on the wall that has, in the area of the East China Sea, a picture of a buck-toothed, slit-eyed fish wearing a coolie hat. This from a company in Taiwan.

I don't know what to do. I can't shake the feeling that any stink I raise will ultimately be meaningless. This whole industry is like a revolving door; foreign teachers ship in and ship out every day, so who the hell cares what I think? The level of accountability just isn't the same here.

Current Music: Hole, Violet

Item the first: You know when's a good time to tell your employees about a mandatory training at 9:30am on a Tuesday? Here's a hint: IT'S FUCKING NOT AT 8:00PM ON MONDAY.

( Cut for profanity and work-bitchingCollapse )

Item the second, which I read in the paper this morning:

A Russian space capsule touched down in Kazakhstan after hurtling through Earth’s atmosphere in a steeper-than-normal descent, subjecting the three-nation-crew to severe G-forces and landing hundreds of kilometers off target.

Note: The crew of the Soyuz included Yi So-yeon, the first Korean and only the second woman from an Asian country ever in space. (Interesting note to the note: The launch crew of the space craft included Sheikh Muszaphar, the first Malaysian in space. Read more about the mission Soyuz TMA-11 here.)

[Russian Federal Space Agency chief Anatoly] Perminov was asked about the presence of two women on the Soyuz and a naval superstition that having women aboard a ship was bad luck.

"You know in Russia, there are certain bad omens about this sort of thing, but thank God that everything worked out successfully," he said. "Of course in the future, we will work somehow to ensure that the number of women will not surpass" the number of men.

Challenged by a reporter, Perminov responded:"'This isn’t discrimination. I’m just saying that when a majority [of the crew] is female, sometimes certain kinds of unsanctioned behavior or something else occurs, that’s what I’m talking about."

WHAT. WHAT.

I'm just- Wow. I'm so glad you specified that this isn't discrimination, because to me it sure looked like you view women as inherently deficient and/or deleterious! But maybe that's just my crazy female bad-juju hormones talking. Glad to have that cleared up, dickface.

I read this over lunch and nearly stabbed someone with my fork. How dare you. How dare you.

Current Music: fuck you fuck you fuck you

Current Mood: SO RAGEFUL