Midnight and Dawn (10/13) (original) (raw)
Title: Midnight and Dawn
Authors: e and 
hopeandmemory
Rating: NC-17 (for sex and violence)
Overall Word Count: 36283
Warnings: Whatever you'd reasonably expect to see on western television in a crime drama will be found in this fic. If you are easily triggered by material referenced (but rarely explicitly shown) in these kinds of programs, you might want to tread carefully.
Summary: In 2006, Kim Heechul put Kim Youngwoon behind bars. He became a legend almost immediately--the guy who watched Star King instead of doing work, drank more than his fair share of the shitty office coffee, and managed to drive off every partner he'd ever been assigned. And then in 2009, Kim Jungmo joins the force, a new case leaves Special Ops Department 1315 grasping helplessly at straws, and everything changes. Heechul/Jungmo
X.
Jungmo arrives at the office early on Saturday morning after a fitful night’s sleep and a hot shower. He sets up his workstation in the conference room again, watching video footage Kyuhyun pulled from the security cameras facing Youngwoon’s compound and taking notes on guard patterns.
Heechul comes in a few hours later, just after 10 a.m., his face hard and angry but without the heavy bags under his eyes he’s been sporting lately. Jungmo feels his chest tighten in apprehension and trains his eyes on the laptop’s screen. Heechul doesn’t shout for coffee, doesn’t even look around the office, but instead slumps to his desk, and starts working almost immediately. Jungmo wonders, for a moment, if he’d gotten away with it, and returns dutifully to the footage, wishing that Heechul wasn’t wearing a dress shirt, buttons done up all the way, so he could marvel at the bruises that he knows are right below the fabric. And yet, he knows that he doesn’t want Heechul to have seen them.
Jungmo is so wrapped up in diagramming and patterning that he doesn’t notice that it’s nearly three until he looks up, stomach grumbling. Neither Heechul and Donghae are at their seats, and Jungmo creeps out of the conference room guiltily, grabbing his lunch from the minifridge, and deciding to use the toilet.
The hallway is empty--1315 has been pulling overtime and working weekends is a must at this point, but he finds that the flooris almost eerily quiet, when usually the hum of activity floods every inch of the building.
He opens the bathroom door and walks inside, feet clicking on the tile. He immediately freezes--there are soft voices coming from a stall in that back, and one of them sounds suspiciously like Donghae. Jungmo carefully edges the door closed and strains to hear them, heart beating.
Does he know?
“Shh, it’s okay, Heechul.” Something splatters, and Jungmo realizes that Heechul is vomiting into the toilet. The sounds punctuate Donghae’s soothing platitudes. Finally, it stops.
“I’m sorry,” Heechul chokes weakly, voice raspy. “It’s just--her lip-gloss. I can’t.”
Heechul never apologizes. Disgust churns in Jungmo’s stomach.
“It’s not there. You don’t taste it.”
“I do, though. Cherry and stickiness. She does it to fuck with me, Donghae. She knows I remember what that’s from.”
I licked most of it off her lips last night.
Donghae sighs. “I know we haven’t--Heechul, do you need me to check? Like I used to when you came back?”
Check?
Heechul pants. “No, I. Not anymore. I can’t. The kid--”
“Jungmo? I understand. He seems like an okay guy. He’d probably understand--”
“He’s fucking her, you know. After everything I told him, he’s still fucking her.”
“Heechul.”
“I woke up this morning with bruises, Donghae. And come on my stomach. And her fucking perfume in the air.”
“So let me--”
Heechul coughs weakly. “I want you to. You were the only one who knew me well enough--who could remind me who I was. But I still don’t want to do that to him. Isn’t it stupid? Even if he’s doing it to me?”
“Oh Heechul. Heechul. Let me kill him. I can’t bear seeing you like this anymore. I thought we were over this.” Jungmo hears a crash. “it’s all my fucking fault.”
“Donghae, you were twenty-three and they were torturing you. You didn’t know.”
“I should have. And then you and Jay--it’d all be okay.”
“No, that never should have happened. Jay didn’t know what he was doing. Jay created her. The bra and the hair and _everything_--”
Jungmo hears Heechul resume retching into the toilet and feels his stomach sink. He knows. He thinks I’m cheating on him. But Jungmo bristles at the comparison. It’s his body. He just refuses to spend any time with me. She’s the only one who will--
“Let me, Heechul.”
“It wouldn’t be fair,” but Heechul sounds breathless and resigned and very, very tired. “I just. I need to sleep.”
“I know.”
“But I can’t wake up to that anymore. To smelling her in my house, seeing her makeup, her bras, her fucking panties everywhere. My hair had ribbons in it this morning. I just--” and Heechul’s voice trembles. Jungmo wonders if he’s crying or screaming or just collapsing, and he wants to leave. Heechul is hard and sharp and always blazing, never giving in. This is not his Heechul. “I thought I was over that.”
But this is also not Heehee.
He quickly slips out before he hears any more and goes to sit in the break room, head in his hands, guilt and nausea twisting his insides.
--
The rest of the weekend passes slowly and awkwardly, as Jungmo spends most of Sunday avoiding Heechul, even though they’re sitting a few feet away in the same office. He’s almost glad when he’s told that he’ll be filling in after Siwon finishes his shift at Alpha on Monday evening.
When he gets to Alpha, he regrets not having looked at the shift schedule. Donghae’s there, on his second day of watch, and with nothing really happening on this case, Jungmo knows Donghae is going to be frustrated and moody, and he really doesn’t feel like being in the line of fire (potentially literally).
“Hi,” Jungmo ventures, not totally thrilled that he’ll be spending twenty-four hours with a guy who mentioned wanting to kill him in passing. Donghae just glares at him and returns to staring at the monitor, right hand doing that weird clicking thing he’s always utterly preoccupied with. Jungmo shrugs and sinks into a chair, gathering up some of the paperwork and reviewing Siwon’s exit notes.
Watch the upper floor, third window from the left. They’ve been moving something. But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans, 2:28.
Typical Siwon.
Jungmo pulls a chair over by Donghae and calibrates a few of the monitors before leaning back, rubbing his eyes, and preparing for a long night ahead. His phone buzzes sharply in his pocket.
[9:22 PM] Kim Heechul
Can you come over later? I’d love to see you.
Jungmo’s stomach lurches.
[9:25 PM] Kim Jungmo
I can’t--on duty. Sorry.
[9:32 PM] Kim Heechul
Can I text you at least? I’m terribly lonely. I even finished up all of the chocolates you brought.
[9:36 PM] Kim Jungmo
He didn’t find them?
[9:38 PM] Kim Heechul
I know how to hide things. :D
[9:41 PM] Kim Heechul
Are you thinking about me? Am I distracting you?
Jungmo swallows and tries to focus on the screens instead of remembering Heehee’s balls slipping out of her silk underwear.
[9:45 PM] Kim Heechul
You really can’t get away? Even for an hour? I want you.
[9:47 PM] Kim Heechul
I bought a new dress, even. It’s really too short to even wear outside.
Jungmo’s pants tighten and he snaps his phone shut. Donghae shoots him a glare.
“Who the fuck are you even texting. Get back to work, Jungmo.”
[9:50 PM] Kim Heechul
Please, Jungmo. I can’t--not on my own. You know. And I want to. So badly. With you, your fingers, your mouth. It felt amazing last time.
“Seriously, do this on your own time.”
[9:51 PM] Kim Heechul
Jungmo.
Donghae snaps and gets to his feet, grabbing the phone from Jungmo’s hand. He looks at the screen--one new message from Kim Heechul and blanches before dropping it.
“_Donghae_--that phone is really expensive! It could bre--”
But Jungmo doesn’t finish his sentence, because Donghae whirls around and punches him in the jaw. Jungmo sees white for a moment, ripples of shock radiating outward, teeth jamming together unpleasantly. He tastes blood in the corner of his mouth, and his lower face throbs.
“How dare you,” Donghae seethes.
“How dare I? What the fuck, Donghae. What was that for?”
“That is for fucking with my best friend.”
“Well he’s _my_--” and Jungmo pauses, not quite knowing how to continue. He swallows the words. “You don’t know what’s going on with us.”
Donghae grimaces. “You are such an idiot. Of course I know. I know more about Heehee than you think you do.”
Jungmo’s stomach sinks. “It’s not like I’m cheating on Heechul or anything. So fuck off.”
“Except you are. You’re siding with her--she’s taken everything from him, and you’re still going over there, fucking her, texting her. It makes me sick, you bastard.”
“Mind your own fucking business, Donghae.”
Donghae punches him again, right in the stomach. “I will beat the crap out of you if I have to watch Heechul upchuck yet another meal because he wakes up knowing that Heehee fucked someone last night. He had to wake up to that every morning when he was with Youngwoon. Never knowing who he was, where he was, who Youngwoon had made him--”
“She’s real,” Jungmo says quietly. “She’s also hurt.”
Donghae rolls his eyes. “If I didn’t know that Heechul would have my hide for breaking all of your bones, I’d have at you in a heartbeat. You’re lucky he has such a soft spot for you. Now sit the fuck down, turn off your phone, and watch the fucking screens.”
Jungmo edges away from Donghae, slides the phone in his pocket, and switches it off after sending one final message.
[10:09 PM] Kim Jungmo
Wednesday night, after stakeout? I’ll bring more chocolate.
--
“What happened to your face?”
Jungmo peers up at Sungmin, who hands him a takeout container when he arrives to take over for Donghae on Tuesday night. His lower lip is painful and swollen, and it hurts to chew too much (which is why he is less than thrilled with his dinner of ddeokbokki, but is starving enough to suffer through eating the chewy rice cakes).
“It’s not important.”
“Since we’re not going to be fighting in hand-to-hand combat, I’m going to let this slide, but I think you should spend some time in the gymnasium training. I’m our team’s expert, but even Donghae could help you out a bit--he used to have my job, after all.”
Jungmo winces. “Ah. Donghae.”
“I thought so. Donghae’s uppercut is pretty nasty.” Sungmin shrugs. “I won’t pry, but you probably deserved it. Donghae’s not the type of guy to punch someone just for the heck of it.”
“Right. Well. I better get back to watching this security feed.”
“I’ll read over Donghae’s notes.” Sungmin pauses, and then sighs. “And Heechul looks like he hasn’t been eating. I don’t know what’s going on with all of you, and I know this is a hard time for him, but if you three are fighting, can you just knock it off for his sake? He’s the guy we need the most, frankly, and I am sick of sleeping in my own bed all alone at night.”
“Oh, ew, too much information, Sungmin!”
--
Heehee’s wearing tights again, Jungmo sees immediately when she opens the door to Heechul’s apartment on Wednesday night, and the smile she greets him with suggests that she would love to find a reason to remove them. It’s almost all she’s wearing, actually, since her lacy dress barely skims her thighs and is held up by only wispy straps and ties.
“Ooh,” she coos, eagerly accepting the box Jungmo offers her. “You know, I won’t fit into my new dress if you keep buying me all of these sweets.”
She shuffles backward, inviting him in and turning her face up for a kiss. Jungmo obliges, tilting her chin up with a couple of fingers. Fingers that were inside of her the other night. She nibbles on his lower lip and he grunts in discomfort, gently pushing her away.
“Sorry, sorry,” he says, holding a few fingers to his mouth. “Mouth’s a little swollen.”
“What happened?” Heehee gestures for him to sit down at the kitchen table while she fetches him a cup of tea and refills her own mug.
“Donghae just got mad and punched me, that’s all.” Jungmo shrugs. “He’s always on edge, nothing out of the ordinary.”
“He’s angry because he found out we...” Heehee smiles behind her cup, pointing between Jungmo and herself. “Isn’t he?”
She knows everything.
Jungmo sifts a hand through his hair. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“We don’t have to talk, if you don’t want to,” Heehee says, putting her cup down. Her fingernails are pink again. He feels a toe run down along his leg. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Yeah,” he says, swallowing. Her toes are rubbing into his inner thigh, skimming his cock dangerously. He leans back. “I’ve missed you too.”
“I kind of like the idea of having tea here, you know.” Her voice is remarkably even. “Take a sip, Jungmo. It’s vanilla chai. My favorite.”
He picks up the glass. His hand is shaking, and suddenly her foot is on his crotch, moving up and down slowly, softly. He bucks up into the touch helplessly, but stops when he feels scalding liquid run down his hand. Jungmo drops the teacup and it shatters on the floor.
“Oh god,” he says, strangled. “I’m so sorry--let me.”
But Heehee is already moving to the floor, picking up the pieces of china with her delicate fingers. “You’ll cut yourself,” he says weakly.
“That’s okay.” Heehee grabs a particularly large piece, and Jungmo watches, horrified, as a sliver embeds itself into her palm. She leaves it there, brushing it against the floor deliberately, and it wedges itself even more deeply into her skin. Blood begins to well around it.
“Heehee, put it down. I’ll get a broom or something--we should take care of your hand, it could get seriously infected.”
Heehee smiles. “Oh Jungmo, we shouldn’t waste my time on that, though. He can take care of that.” She gets up and brushes her hand off on her dress. It leaves a long, red trail against the lace. “Will you kiss me again? Make it all better?”
Jungmo steps back. “You--you’re both bleeding. I can’t, not like this. Heehee, please, let’s take care of this.” The cut looks seriously deep.
“You really only care about him, don’t you.”
“What? That has nothing to do with--”
“If you cared about me, you’d let me make the most of my time. Our time.” Her entire hand is red, color slowly welling over her fingers. “I don’t have that much of it. He can deal with the aftermath all he likes.”
Jungmo cringes.
“You’re crazy,” he whispers. Everything starts to make sense--Donghae’s anger, Heechul’s revulsion. Blood droplets begin to dot the carpet.
Suddenly his phone chimes and he dives for it--it could only be work; Heehee’s right in front of him. He keys in his passcode and sees that it’s from Kyuhyun.
[11:02 PM] Cho Kyuhyun
We’ve been traced. They’ve pulled down our entire computer system through Alpha Base. Get your asses to the office, all of you.
Heechul’s phone dings a moment later. She ignores it.
“Heehee, you’ve got to let him out. There’s an emergency.”
She sniffs. “I don’t really care. And I like it when Youngwoon has you all running around--it means he gets tired more easily, and I can pop out whenever I want to read a book or have some tea.”
“Heehee.”
“And if Youngwoon goes away, I’ll be gone, right?” She pouts, and her lips are shiny. Jungmo remembers the sound of Heechul throwing up, and his stomach churns. “Would you want that, Jungmo? Never getting to fuck--”
Jungmo slams his hands on the table. “You’re disgusting. I can’t believe I fell for this--you probably don’t even care about me. You just want to get back at him for existing, don’t you? Fuck, _fuck_--Donghae was right. I’ve really screwed this up.”
Jungmo grabs his jacket and stalks to the door. Before slamming it behind him, he turns on his heel and returns to where Heehee is standing, hand dripping blood.
“I don’t trust you not to try killing him, even. So grit your teeth--I’m about to knock you out.”
“You’d hurt a girl,” she shrieks. “Are you crazy?”
“Yeah. I must be.” Jungmo grabs at her nose and mouth, smothering her. She claws at his face, and he feels his swollen lips throb helplessly. I deserve this, he thinks, watching her eyes roll back. At least she doesn’t have Heechul’s training. He’d disarm me in microseconds.
He lets go when he’s sure that Heehee’s asleep, and lies Heechul back down on the floor. After a few minutes, Heechul’s eyes flick open, and it is Heechul--Jungmo can tell instantly. Heechul blinks, opens his mouth, and screams.
→XI