Monica Taylor | Montclair State University (original) (raw)

Papers by Monica Taylor

Research paper thumbnail of The Role of Self-Study in Teaching and Teacher Education for Social Justice

Springer International Handbooks of Education, 2020

Research paper thumbnail of Valuing Cultural Diversity (New Teachers)

Research paper thumbnail of Addressing Gender, Feminism, and Queer Theory Through Self-Study of Teacher Education Practices

Gender, Feminism, and Queer Theory in the Self-Study of Teacher Education Practices, 2014

In self-study of teacher education practices (S-STEP), our research begins with the self (Loughra... more In self-study of teacher education practices (S-STEP), our research begins with the self (Loughran, 2004). It is self-focused and self-directed in order to reconceptualize practice. As practitioners researching ourselves, the notion of the self is necessarily complicated, and while it would be unwise to attempt a definition of self that all self-study researchers would accept, it is clear that the self of self-study is not conceptualized as static or isolated.

Research paper thumbnail of New Teachers: Valuing Cultural Diversity

The English Journal, 1996

Research paper thumbnail of Co/Autoethnography as a Feminist Methodology

Springer international handbooks of education, 2019

In this chapter, we show how co/autoethnography, a self-study methodology, has enabled us to put ... more In this chapter, we show how co/autoethnography, a self-study methodology, has enabled us to put into action feminist principles through concrete examples from a series of self-studies we have conducted over the past 17 years. Using salient features of co/autoethnography, we hope our readers will see the possibilities of advancing their understanding of their practice through feminist self-study methods and approaches. By providing a retrospective look at how co/

Research paper thumbnail of Feminist Teacher Leadership

The Power of Teacher Leaders, 2021

Research paper thumbnail of What Happens in Vegas Doesn’t Always Stay in Vegas: Negotiating the Curriculum Leads to Agency and Change

Studying Teacher Education, 2016

INTRODUCTION: Acute meningococcemia is a clinical syndrome secondary to Neisseria meningitidis in... more INTRODUCTION: Acute meningococcemia is a clinical syndrome secondary to Neisseria meningitidis infection that can rapidly progress to shock, multi-organ failure, and death. We report a case of fulminant myopericarditis as the initial presentation of meningococcemia that recovered after early goal-directed therapy. CASE PRESENTATION: A 25 year-old previously healthy male presented to the emergency room with one day of abdominal pain, nausea, fevers/chills, and pleuritic chest pain during a trip to Las Vegas with a "sick contact". The patient was febrile and tachycardic with an otherwise normal physical exam. While in the ER, he became hypotensive to 63/43 despite 3 liters of normal saline. An electrocardiogram showed diffuse ST segment elevations. Initial labs were remarkable for a white blood cell count of 10.4 K/UL (92% neutrophils), lactic acid 1.8 mmol/L, and troponin <0.01. Echocardiogram showed an ejection fraction of 25% with diffuse hypokinesis. Chest radiograph was normal. He was started on norepinephrine, broad spectrum antibiotics and additional intravenous fluids with subsequent improvement in his blood pressure. While in the intensive care unit, his vasopressor requirement increased over the next 24 hours with lactate rising to 4.4 mmol/L and troponin to 75 ng/mL. By hospital day 2, his vasopressor requirements, lactate, and troponin decreased with additional fluids. Preliminary blood cultures were positive for gram negative diplococci, which speciated to Neisseria meningitidis. Lumbar puncture results were normal. Antibiotics were deescalated to a 3 rd generation cephalosporin. On HOD 4, the patient was weaned off the vasopressor and bedside echo showed improvement in his EF to 40%. DISCUSSION: The exact mechanism of myocardial involvement in acute meningococcemia is unclear but is thought to be related to increased levels of interleukin 6. Dysfunction of the myocardium contributes to the high mortality from meningococcemia, with more than 50% of patients having some degree of myocarditis on post-mortem examination. CONCLUSIONS: Due to the rapid progression and mortality of meningococcal myocarditis, it is important for the critical care physician to have a clinical suspicion for bacterial myocarditis in previously healthy patients who present with viral symptoms, sepsis, and acute cardiomyopathy. Early goal-directed therapy can result in rapid recovery and avoid fatal outcomes.

Research paper thumbnail of Future Perfect: Reflecting through Personal Narrative

Teaching is a reflective and deeply human activity, an ethical enterprise that involves the teach... more Teaching is a reflective and deeply human activity, an ethical enterprise that involves the teacher as a person. The educational significance of autobiography lies in its ability to enable people to understand their present experiences and those yet to occur.

Research paper thumbnail of Triggered by the Kavanaugh Hearings

Research paper thumbnail of Editorial Statement

The Educational Forum, 2018

Research paper thumbnail of Teacher Educators Struggling to Make Complex Practice Explicit: Distancing Teaching through Video

Studying Teacher Education, 2017

Abstract This self-study examines our use of video with a cohort of preservice teachers as a mean... more Abstract This self-study examines our use of video with a cohort of preservice teachers as a means to address the challenges we face as teacher educators who are working with candidates in extensive clinical practice. We came to video as a nuanced way to discuss and make meaning of complex practice and as a means of bridging theory and practice. We found that our use of video supported preservice teachers and their mentors in decomposing, representing, and approximating practice. We also found that, as suggested by the literature, the use of video distanced preservice teachers from their experiences in practice. Finally, we discuss the implications for using video to support the work of rich clinical teacher education.

Research paper thumbnail of Freezing Out Injustice: Using ICE to Foster Democratic Inquiry

Kappa Delta Pi Record, 2016

In an urban teacher residency program, preservice science teachers experience what it's like to t... more In an urban teacher residency program, preservice science teachers experience what it's like to teach for social justice through the use of a democratic inquiry stance, thus moving toward an understanding of teaching for social justice as larger than one individual teacher in a classroom.

Research paper thumbnail of Exploring Inquiry in the Third Space: Case Studies of a Year in an Urban Teacher-Residency Program

The New Educator, 2016

ABSTRACT Using case studies, we describe what happens from novice to apprentice when preservice t... more ABSTRACT Using case studies, we describe what happens from novice to apprentice when preservice teachers learn to teach in an urban teacher-residency (UTR) program with a focus on inquiry. Our UTR operates within a “third space” in teacher education, seeking to realign traditional power relationships and to create an alternate arena where the roles of the university, school, teacher candidate, and community can be reimagined. This third space encourages preservice teachers to be inquirers themselves in order for them to support their students as inquirers.

Research paper thumbnail of Constructing and Negotiating a Residency Admissions Program in the Third Space

A Year in the Life of a Third Space Urban Teacher Residency, 2015

Our first face-to-face experience with 25 applicants. The atmosphere is electric, filled with ner... more Our first face-to-face experience with 25 applicants. The atmosphere is electric, filled with nervous energy, anticipation, and enthusiasm. We gather together in one of the classrooms in University Hall, bringing together applicants, faculty, NPS mentors, and HR personnel to determine cohort two. The evaluation process begins from the moment the group congregates, as we connect faces and names to application files.

Research paper thumbnail of Changing leadership: Teachers lead the way for schools that learn

Teaching and Teacher Education, 2011

This article appeared in a journal published by Elsevier. The attached copy is furnished to the a... more This article appeared in a journal published by Elsevier. The attached copy is furnished to the author for internal non-commercial research and education use, including for instruction at the authors institution and sharing with colleagues. Other uses, including reproduction and distribution, or selling or licensing copies, or posting to personal, institutional or third party websites are prohibited. In most cases authors are permitted to post their version of the article (e.g. in Word or Tex form) to their personal website or institutional repository. Authors requiring further information regarding Elsevier's archiving and manuscript policies are

Research paper thumbnail of A Year in the Life of a Third Space Urban Teacher Residency

In March 2014, T. Bone Burnett organized a collective of musicians who had never before worked to... more In March 2014, T. Bone Burnett organized a collective of musicians who had never before worked together to develop an album based on the newly uncovered 1967 handwritten lyrics of Bob Dylan. Elvis Costello, Marcus Mumford, Taylor Goldsmith, Jim James, and Rhiannon Giddens were invited to work on the album, Lost on the River: The New Basement Tapes, because, as Burnett (2014) explained, “Not only do they have the talent and the same open and collaborative spirit needed for this to be good, they are all music archaeologists. They all know how to dig without breaking the thing they are digging” (para. 4).

Research paper thumbnail of Tensions of Reimagining Our Roles as Teacher Educators in a Third Space: Revisiting a Co/autoethnography Through a Faculty Lens

Studying Teacher Education, 2014

This co/autoethnography uses our lens as university faculty to examine how engaging in a year-lon... more This co/autoethnography uses our lens as university faculty to examine how engaging in a year-long self-study with mentors nurtured a complicated third space where we could together begin to reimagine our roles as teacher educators. Two secondary faculty members and a doctoral assistant used co/autoethnography to revisit a collaborative self-study with mentors to better identify both the individual and programmatic complexities that arise when a third space is opened and we are invited to reinvent our perspectives and responsibilities as co-teacher educators. We ask two questions: What happens when faculty facilitate a third-space teacher education program with mentor teachers? How does this third space influence the teacher education practices in an urban teacher residency program? We present a series of tensions about our work together as teacher educators in the third space. They include professional into authentic relationships, authority into collaboration, collaborative agency into individual agency, and apprenticing to master teacher into apprenticing within a collective. Following findings about each tension, we discuss how we as faculty navigated each tension. Finally, we consider the implications of our work for all field-based teacher education programs.

Research paper thumbnail of Beginning with trusted friends: Venturing out to work collaboratively in our institutions

The Sixth International …, 2006

A self-study community encourages the sharing of experiences and new insights, both positive and ... more A self-study community encourages the sharing of experiences and new insights, both positive and negative. The building of knowledge develops through dialogue in a personal-constructivist-collaborative approach (Beck, Freese, & Kosnik, 2004). Loughran and Northfield (1998) note that the individual perspective may be a significant paradox in self-study terminology. The term, self-study, suggests that the individual is the focus of the study, yet self-study is a collective task (Elijah, 2004; Ham & Kane, 2004). Samaras & Freese (2006) write of this paradox of self-study as both personal and interpersonal. It is as if the community leads (Vygotsky, 1978) or completes (Newman & Holzman, 1993) development. Collaboration does not mean harmony. Interactions may cause the individual to question his/her position or those of others as they develop new understandings. Beyond the cognitive level, self-study scholars have the emotional support of self-study colleagues who are invested in improving learning and teaching through selfstudy. Kosnik, Beck, and Freese (2004) state that an inclusive and equitable self-study community fosters personal and professional growth which impacts program development. LaBoskey (2004) affirms the need for a supportive and interactive community in the knowledge building process. This paper addresses the impact of our collaborative experiences in the self-study community. We discuss how it has supported and influenced our personal and professional thinking as well as our work in our home institutions. CONTEXT We have witnessed the influence and significance of selfstudy for enhancing teachers' professional development and lifelong learning in the preservice and inservice teacher education programs we directed (e.g.

Research paper thumbnail of Editorial Statement

The Educational Forum, 2018

Research paper thumbnail of Allowing the Personal to Drive Our Self-Study: Texting, Emailing, and Facebook Messaging Our Way to Feminist Understanding

Self-Study of Teaching and Teacher Education Practices, 2021

In this chapter, we explore how our personal friendship and daily correspondence became the vehic... more In this chapter, we explore how our personal friendship and daily correspondence became the vehicle through which we made meaning in our co/autoethnographic self-study research. We are two friends who are teacher educators at the same university, identify as feminists, and collaboratively research and write together. We use co/autoethnography as a feminist self-study research methodology that takes autoethnography, a research paradigm that examines autobiographical narratives in relationship with larger cultural norms, and moves it beyond the singular to the plural. Using co/autoethnography enables us to come to know through the interweaving of our stories and dialogue so that validity, insight, and analysis all emerge as we write together exploring similar issues. In order to illustrate our collaborative writing process, and "show rather than tell," we examine the dialogue that emerged through texting, email, and Facebook messaging after the election of President Trump that led to our exploration of our own embodied narratives of experiences of sexism and oppression within the context of our childhoods, schooling, and the teaching profession. We investigate our growing questions about our relationship to feminism as teacher educators and the principles that underlie this feminist writing partnership and our collaborative work. I want to tell you this: There is a truth that lives inside you and no one can give you permission to tell it except yourself. You can tell the whole thing, the full truth-and you deserve to. You deserve to tell the story of your anger and heartbreak and regret, your foolishness and apostasy and your unquenchable thirst for revenge … (Johnson, 2018) Monica: Sorry that it has taken me so long to respond. I am having one of those days where I just feel like I am not enough: not as a professor, ally, parent, or human being. I had horrible insomnia and was just feeling so overwhelmed on so many levels. I am working through it, having lots of small meetings with students

Research paper thumbnail of The Role of Self-Study in Teaching and Teacher Education for Social Justice

Springer International Handbooks of Education, 2020

Research paper thumbnail of Valuing Cultural Diversity (New Teachers)

Research paper thumbnail of Addressing Gender, Feminism, and Queer Theory Through Self-Study of Teacher Education Practices

Gender, Feminism, and Queer Theory in the Self-Study of Teacher Education Practices, 2014

In self-study of teacher education practices (S-STEP), our research begins with the self (Loughra... more In self-study of teacher education practices (S-STEP), our research begins with the self (Loughran, 2004). It is self-focused and self-directed in order to reconceptualize practice. As practitioners researching ourselves, the notion of the self is necessarily complicated, and while it would be unwise to attempt a definition of self that all self-study researchers would accept, it is clear that the self of self-study is not conceptualized as static or isolated.

Research paper thumbnail of New Teachers: Valuing Cultural Diversity

The English Journal, 1996

Research paper thumbnail of Co/Autoethnography as a Feminist Methodology

Springer international handbooks of education, 2019

In this chapter, we show how co/autoethnography, a self-study methodology, has enabled us to put ... more In this chapter, we show how co/autoethnography, a self-study methodology, has enabled us to put into action feminist principles through concrete examples from a series of self-studies we have conducted over the past 17 years. Using salient features of co/autoethnography, we hope our readers will see the possibilities of advancing their understanding of their practice through feminist self-study methods and approaches. By providing a retrospective look at how co/

Research paper thumbnail of Feminist Teacher Leadership

The Power of Teacher Leaders, 2021

Research paper thumbnail of What Happens in Vegas Doesn’t Always Stay in Vegas: Negotiating the Curriculum Leads to Agency and Change

Studying Teacher Education, 2016

INTRODUCTION: Acute meningococcemia is a clinical syndrome secondary to Neisseria meningitidis in... more INTRODUCTION: Acute meningococcemia is a clinical syndrome secondary to Neisseria meningitidis infection that can rapidly progress to shock, multi-organ failure, and death. We report a case of fulminant myopericarditis as the initial presentation of meningococcemia that recovered after early goal-directed therapy. CASE PRESENTATION: A 25 year-old previously healthy male presented to the emergency room with one day of abdominal pain, nausea, fevers/chills, and pleuritic chest pain during a trip to Las Vegas with a "sick contact". The patient was febrile and tachycardic with an otherwise normal physical exam. While in the ER, he became hypotensive to 63/43 despite 3 liters of normal saline. An electrocardiogram showed diffuse ST segment elevations. Initial labs were remarkable for a white blood cell count of 10.4 K/UL (92% neutrophils), lactic acid 1.8 mmol/L, and troponin <0.01. Echocardiogram showed an ejection fraction of 25% with diffuse hypokinesis. Chest radiograph was normal. He was started on norepinephrine, broad spectrum antibiotics and additional intravenous fluids with subsequent improvement in his blood pressure. While in the intensive care unit, his vasopressor requirement increased over the next 24 hours with lactate rising to 4.4 mmol/L and troponin to 75 ng/mL. By hospital day 2, his vasopressor requirements, lactate, and troponin decreased with additional fluids. Preliminary blood cultures were positive for gram negative diplococci, which speciated to Neisseria meningitidis. Lumbar puncture results were normal. Antibiotics were deescalated to a 3 rd generation cephalosporin. On HOD 4, the patient was weaned off the vasopressor and bedside echo showed improvement in his EF to 40%. DISCUSSION: The exact mechanism of myocardial involvement in acute meningococcemia is unclear but is thought to be related to increased levels of interleukin 6. Dysfunction of the myocardium contributes to the high mortality from meningococcemia, with more than 50% of patients having some degree of myocarditis on post-mortem examination. CONCLUSIONS: Due to the rapid progression and mortality of meningococcal myocarditis, it is important for the critical care physician to have a clinical suspicion for bacterial myocarditis in previously healthy patients who present with viral symptoms, sepsis, and acute cardiomyopathy. Early goal-directed therapy can result in rapid recovery and avoid fatal outcomes.

Research paper thumbnail of Future Perfect: Reflecting through Personal Narrative

Teaching is a reflective and deeply human activity, an ethical enterprise that involves the teach... more Teaching is a reflective and deeply human activity, an ethical enterprise that involves the teacher as a person. The educational significance of autobiography lies in its ability to enable people to understand their present experiences and those yet to occur.

Research paper thumbnail of Triggered by the Kavanaugh Hearings

Research paper thumbnail of Editorial Statement

The Educational Forum, 2018

Research paper thumbnail of Teacher Educators Struggling to Make Complex Practice Explicit: Distancing Teaching through Video

Studying Teacher Education, 2017

Abstract This self-study examines our use of video with a cohort of preservice teachers as a mean... more Abstract This self-study examines our use of video with a cohort of preservice teachers as a means to address the challenges we face as teacher educators who are working with candidates in extensive clinical practice. We came to video as a nuanced way to discuss and make meaning of complex practice and as a means of bridging theory and practice. We found that our use of video supported preservice teachers and their mentors in decomposing, representing, and approximating practice. We also found that, as suggested by the literature, the use of video distanced preservice teachers from their experiences in practice. Finally, we discuss the implications for using video to support the work of rich clinical teacher education.

Research paper thumbnail of Freezing Out Injustice: Using ICE to Foster Democratic Inquiry

Kappa Delta Pi Record, 2016

In an urban teacher residency program, preservice science teachers experience what it's like to t... more In an urban teacher residency program, preservice science teachers experience what it's like to teach for social justice through the use of a democratic inquiry stance, thus moving toward an understanding of teaching for social justice as larger than one individual teacher in a classroom.

Research paper thumbnail of Exploring Inquiry in the Third Space: Case Studies of a Year in an Urban Teacher-Residency Program

The New Educator, 2016

ABSTRACT Using case studies, we describe what happens from novice to apprentice when preservice t... more ABSTRACT Using case studies, we describe what happens from novice to apprentice when preservice teachers learn to teach in an urban teacher-residency (UTR) program with a focus on inquiry. Our UTR operates within a “third space” in teacher education, seeking to realign traditional power relationships and to create an alternate arena where the roles of the university, school, teacher candidate, and community can be reimagined. This third space encourages preservice teachers to be inquirers themselves in order for them to support their students as inquirers.

Research paper thumbnail of Constructing and Negotiating a Residency Admissions Program in the Third Space

A Year in the Life of a Third Space Urban Teacher Residency, 2015

Our first face-to-face experience with 25 applicants. The atmosphere is electric, filled with ner... more Our first face-to-face experience with 25 applicants. The atmosphere is electric, filled with nervous energy, anticipation, and enthusiasm. We gather together in one of the classrooms in University Hall, bringing together applicants, faculty, NPS mentors, and HR personnel to determine cohort two. The evaluation process begins from the moment the group congregates, as we connect faces and names to application files.

Research paper thumbnail of Changing leadership: Teachers lead the way for schools that learn

Teaching and Teacher Education, 2011

This article appeared in a journal published by Elsevier. The attached copy is furnished to the a... more This article appeared in a journal published by Elsevier. The attached copy is furnished to the author for internal non-commercial research and education use, including for instruction at the authors institution and sharing with colleagues. Other uses, including reproduction and distribution, or selling or licensing copies, or posting to personal, institutional or third party websites are prohibited. In most cases authors are permitted to post their version of the article (e.g. in Word or Tex form) to their personal website or institutional repository. Authors requiring further information regarding Elsevier's archiving and manuscript policies are

Research paper thumbnail of A Year in the Life of a Third Space Urban Teacher Residency

In March 2014, T. Bone Burnett organized a collective of musicians who had never before worked to... more In March 2014, T. Bone Burnett organized a collective of musicians who had never before worked together to develop an album based on the newly uncovered 1967 handwritten lyrics of Bob Dylan. Elvis Costello, Marcus Mumford, Taylor Goldsmith, Jim James, and Rhiannon Giddens were invited to work on the album, Lost on the River: The New Basement Tapes, because, as Burnett (2014) explained, “Not only do they have the talent and the same open and collaborative spirit needed for this to be good, they are all music archaeologists. They all know how to dig without breaking the thing they are digging” (para. 4).

Research paper thumbnail of Tensions of Reimagining Our Roles as Teacher Educators in a Third Space: Revisiting a Co/autoethnography Through a Faculty Lens

Studying Teacher Education, 2014

This co/autoethnography uses our lens as university faculty to examine how engaging in a year-lon... more This co/autoethnography uses our lens as university faculty to examine how engaging in a year-long self-study with mentors nurtured a complicated third space where we could together begin to reimagine our roles as teacher educators. Two secondary faculty members and a doctoral assistant used co/autoethnography to revisit a collaborative self-study with mentors to better identify both the individual and programmatic complexities that arise when a third space is opened and we are invited to reinvent our perspectives and responsibilities as co-teacher educators. We ask two questions: What happens when faculty facilitate a third-space teacher education program with mentor teachers? How does this third space influence the teacher education practices in an urban teacher residency program? We present a series of tensions about our work together as teacher educators in the third space. They include professional into authentic relationships, authority into collaboration, collaborative agency into individual agency, and apprenticing to master teacher into apprenticing within a collective. Following findings about each tension, we discuss how we as faculty navigated each tension. Finally, we consider the implications of our work for all field-based teacher education programs.

Research paper thumbnail of Beginning with trusted friends: Venturing out to work collaboratively in our institutions

The Sixth International …, 2006

A self-study community encourages the sharing of experiences and new insights, both positive and ... more A self-study community encourages the sharing of experiences and new insights, both positive and negative. The building of knowledge develops through dialogue in a personal-constructivist-collaborative approach (Beck, Freese, & Kosnik, 2004). Loughran and Northfield (1998) note that the individual perspective may be a significant paradox in self-study terminology. The term, self-study, suggests that the individual is the focus of the study, yet self-study is a collective task (Elijah, 2004; Ham & Kane, 2004). Samaras & Freese (2006) write of this paradox of self-study as both personal and interpersonal. It is as if the community leads (Vygotsky, 1978) or completes (Newman & Holzman, 1993) development. Collaboration does not mean harmony. Interactions may cause the individual to question his/her position or those of others as they develop new understandings. Beyond the cognitive level, self-study scholars have the emotional support of self-study colleagues who are invested in improving learning and teaching through selfstudy. Kosnik, Beck, and Freese (2004) state that an inclusive and equitable self-study community fosters personal and professional growth which impacts program development. LaBoskey (2004) affirms the need for a supportive and interactive community in the knowledge building process. This paper addresses the impact of our collaborative experiences in the self-study community. We discuss how it has supported and influenced our personal and professional thinking as well as our work in our home institutions. CONTEXT We have witnessed the influence and significance of selfstudy for enhancing teachers' professional development and lifelong learning in the preservice and inservice teacher education programs we directed (e.g.

Research paper thumbnail of Editorial Statement

The Educational Forum, 2018

Research paper thumbnail of Allowing the Personal to Drive Our Self-Study: Texting, Emailing, and Facebook Messaging Our Way to Feminist Understanding

Self-Study of Teaching and Teacher Education Practices, 2021

In this chapter, we explore how our personal friendship and daily correspondence became the vehic... more In this chapter, we explore how our personal friendship and daily correspondence became the vehicle through which we made meaning in our co/autoethnographic self-study research. We are two friends who are teacher educators at the same university, identify as feminists, and collaboratively research and write together. We use co/autoethnography as a feminist self-study research methodology that takes autoethnography, a research paradigm that examines autobiographical narratives in relationship with larger cultural norms, and moves it beyond the singular to the plural. Using co/autoethnography enables us to come to know through the interweaving of our stories and dialogue so that validity, insight, and analysis all emerge as we write together exploring similar issues. In order to illustrate our collaborative writing process, and "show rather than tell," we examine the dialogue that emerged through texting, email, and Facebook messaging after the election of President Trump that led to our exploration of our own embodied narratives of experiences of sexism and oppression within the context of our childhoods, schooling, and the teaching profession. We investigate our growing questions about our relationship to feminism as teacher educators and the principles that underlie this feminist writing partnership and our collaborative work. I want to tell you this: There is a truth that lives inside you and no one can give you permission to tell it except yourself. You can tell the whole thing, the full truth-and you deserve to. You deserve to tell the story of your anger and heartbreak and regret, your foolishness and apostasy and your unquenchable thirst for revenge … (Johnson, 2018) Monica: Sorry that it has taken me so long to respond. I am having one of those days where I just feel like I am not enough: not as a professor, ally, parent, or human being. I had horrible insomnia and was just feeling so overwhelmed on so many levels. I am working through it, having lots of small meetings with students