Safety Boat of Good News (original) (raw)

okay, so this is how my night went down.

after coming back from the dELiO*s, i went next door to dogsit and watched Azumanga Diaoh, which is brilliant. but then i ruined my life by watching The Super Milk Chan Show...which i think has just made me afraid of everything in the whole world. never EVER sneak up on me again. i won't be able to function in society.

then my brother came home from work and decided to rent Napoleon Dynamite. he said that it's always out and everyone is always talking about it. so, we went next door and within 3 minutes of the movie i just said "i hate this movie already." then, after 20 minutes i paused it and started screaming "NO. NO MORE. I WANT TO DIE. THIS MOVIE MAKES ME WANT TO DIE." and alex was like "i know!!!" but then he started it again, and my entire body started to shake and i got nervous twitches and i was actually thinking about setting myself on fire, and i screamed at the top of my lungs, and i started crying. I ACTUALLY STARTED CRYING. i wanted to crawl into the teevee and stab everyone one of the characters, but then i'd have to kill myself because i would have been all too close to them. AHH!!!!!

i screamed and screamed and screamed until there was nothing left to scream...my brother kept INSISTING to watch the whole thing but i wouldn't let him for the sake of his own pure mind (wait...what? this is the kid who wants to be a dictator). i wanted to die. but i wouldn't stop screaming or crying so my brother just told me to go upstairs and call Japan, so i did. i called dokool, and we talked until his phone died. i had 8.50onmycallingcardbeforeididthat,too.nowionlyhave8.50 on my calling card before i did that, too. now i only have 8.50onmycallingcardbeforeididthat,too.nowionlyhave2.80. sad, but it was worth escaping Napoleon Dynamite.

when it was all over my brother ran upstairs and started screaming that HE wanted to die.

i think my IQ dropped from 126 to 79.

Weather: mortified