necama, posts by tag: questions - LiveJournal (original) (raw)
So I did one of the things I never thought I'd do....
Jul. 2nd, 2006 | 10:50 pm
music: Reuben Kee, pixietricks -- To Far Away Times
mood: 
Thinkin' about things
... I went to church today. A number of years ago, I went to a Christmas service that turned my stomach. I swore after that night I would never return to that particular church, and it's a promise I've managed to keep. Since my parents have moved to Oregon, it's likely to remain true.
But since I've started going out with Kathryn (on the night that almost involved rubber chickens), I've come to realize what a wonderful person she is. Heck, she even helped me plan some upcoming gift-giving madness today. Kathryn came to see an Aikido class; she wanted to see what I get out of it. I was just as curious about Kathryn's church.
So I went to church this morning. I'm not quite sure what I think about it -- it's much less traditional than Centerville Presbyterian was -- but overall, I believe it was a positive experience: the message in the sermon was more about personal introspection and self-realized honesty than about how to form a better society through conversion. And everybody I talked to was very friendly. I'm not sure if this will become a continuing pursuit of mine, and Kathryn understands that. But now, I understand what she gets out of it, and I respect that she needs it, as she understands my Aikido, and what I get out of that. I'm also beginning to realize that my next major hurdles at Aikido are going to involve the mental game far more than the physical one. I have physical problems to overcome, but I believe the blocks in my head are going to be a much larger impediment to progress.
It's time to start meditating again. And it's time to start asking deep, personal questions of myself.