no_pity (original) (raw)

(no subject)	[Mar. 26th, 2016\|07:28 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
So I had a catheter put in. here is the post that convinced me: http://no-pity.livejournal.com/662826.html#comments it's great to not be in pain, to be able to drink what you like, to be able to actually focus on things & not have to stay 10ft from the nearest toilet. Something is confusing me though. There's been lots of talk of “bypassing”. Some say it's only a little leak, but some say it's soaking clothes, as if there's no catheter. I've heard it's really painful, but when/if I leak it isn't, which surprises me as I have sensation.. Is it just the catheter draining,/am I bypassing.?? & why do I feel wet underneath, like I did when I wore adult diapers??
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(no subject)

[Mar. 26th, 2016|07:28 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

So I had a catheter put in. here is the post that convinced me: http://no-pity.livejournal.com/662826.html#comments it's great to not be in pain, to be able to drink what you like, to be able to actually focus on things & not have to stay 10ft from the nearest toilet. Something is confusing me though. There's been lots of talk of “bypassing”. Some say it's only a little leak, but some say it's soaking clothes, as if there's no catheter. I've heard it's really painful, but when/if I leak it isn't, which surprises me as I have sensation.. Is it just the catheter draining,/am I bypassing.?? & why do I feel wet underneath, like I did when I wore adult diapers??

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Rewarding able-bodied people for being nice to disabled people	[Feb. 28th, 2016\|11:14 am]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
A common feature of inspiration porn is praising a non-disabled person for being nice to a disabled person. This might include a TAB (temporarily able-bodied) person inviting a disabled person to a dance, a star athlete eating lunch at the same table as a disabled classmate at school, or a high school wrestler deliberately losing a wrestling match so that his opponent, who has Down Syndrome, can win.When these stories go viral, those of us who object to this kind of inspiration porn will point out what are, to us, the obvious problems with these stories. For example, won't the wrestler with Down Syndrome notice that all these news stories mention the fact that his able-bodied opponent LET him win? How about the fact that the able-bodied person is asking the disabled person to the high school dance out of pity, not out of friendship? But some people say, "But as long as the disabled person enjoys the dance/is happy because he won the wrestling match, why is it a bad thing?"Well, maybe because it gets the disabled person's hopes up? Maybe they think this person is really their friend, and then they get disappointed when the TAB person ignores them after the dance/wrestling match is over. Maybe they get misguided ideas about what friends are, and they think it must be okay for this person to ignore them, because everybody around them is saying how wonderful this person is for being nice to the disabled person. Heaven forbid the disabled person not be grateful to be thrown some crumbs from the able person's table.
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Rewarding able-bodied people for being nice to disabled people

[Feb. 28th, 2016|11:14 am]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

A common feature of inspiration porn is praising a non-disabled person for being nice to a disabled person. This might include a TAB (temporarily able-bodied) person inviting a disabled person to a dance, a star athlete eating lunch at the same table as a disabled classmate at school, or a high school wrestler deliberately losing a wrestling match so that his opponent, who has Down Syndrome, can win.When these stories go viral, those of us who object to this kind of inspiration porn will point out what are, to us, the obvious problems with these stories. For example, won't the wrestler with Down Syndrome notice that all these news stories mention the fact that his able-bodied opponent LET him win? How about the fact that the able-bodied person is asking the disabled person to the high school dance out of pity, not out of friendship? But some people say, "But as long as the disabled person enjoys the dance/is happy because he won the wrestling match, why is it a bad thing?"Well, maybe because it gets the disabled person's hopes up? Maybe they think this person is really their friend, and then they get disappointed when the TAB person ignores them after the dance/wrestling match is over. Maybe they get misguided ideas about what friends are, and they think it must be okay for this person to ignore them, because everybody around them is saying how wonderful this person is for being nice to the disabled person. Heaven forbid the disabled person not be grateful to be thrown some crumbs from the able person's table.

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(no subject)	[Nov. 10th, 2015\|08:36 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
I've had lifelong issues with my bladder, which I recently discovered can only hold 300ml if that. I've been toying w/ the idea of having a suprapubic catheter for a long time, & recently decided to go ahead with it. I can be fine, & then my bladder feels like velvet. I can be literally shaking & crying due to needing the bathroom so badly. I can't bear weight, so it would literally be easier for me to live on the toilet. I wear a pendant round my neck & prefer free-flowing clothing , but before staff get to me I've had epic leakage. Staff mostly do, are very kind (unlike the other facilities I stayed in) & have tried to persuade me NOT to have a catheter. I know lots of people who do, who sit up straighter & generally look 10x happier than I do. I've tried everything, gigantic adult diapers, multiple adult diapers, meditation, restriction of fluid, bladder training ( both these were hellish, neither worked) If you ever read the story with the man who drank the entire sea, but was still thirsty, I could be his wife. I am often so dry my throat hurts. :: any food, drink, clothing choices, I should avoid?? :: what if I sit on my bag & squash it??:: will it hurt/feel like I'm wetting when it's done? When finding supplies, I found I may be someone's dream woman
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(no subject)

[Nov. 10th, 2015|08:36 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

I've had lifelong issues with my bladder, which I recently discovered can only hold 300ml if that. I've been toying w/ the idea of having a suprapubic catheter for a long time, & recently decided to go ahead with it. I can be fine, & then my bladder feels like velvet. I can be literally shaking & crying due to needing the bathroom so badly. I can't bear weight, so it would literally be easier for me to live on the toilet. I wear a pendant round my neck & prefer free-flowing clothing , but before staff get to me I've had epic leakage. Staff mostly do, are very kind (unlike the other facilities I stayed in) & have tried to persuade me NOT to have a catheter. I know lots of people who do, who sit up straighter & generally look 10x happier than I do. I've tried everything, gigantic adult diapers, multiple adult diapers, meditation, restriction of fluid, bladder training ( both these were hellish, neither worked) If you ever read the story with the man who drank the entire sea, but was still thirsty, I could be his wife. I am often so dry my throat hurts. :: any food, drink, clothing choices, I should avoid?? :: what if I sit on my bag & squash it??:: will it hurt/feel like I'm wetting when it's done? When finding supplies, I found I may be someone's dream woman

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I Need to MOVE from my Mom and Step-dad's Home (But I Need to get my Benefits)	[Jul. 9th, 2013\|11:26 am]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
[Current Mood \|worried]My family has been ordered to move by apparentlly the homeowners association and my mom and step-dad accuse me of "destroying the house with water!" I wash off my stuff when I get home because they smell and last night the sink upstairs wsa stopped up--my mom who told me to wash my shoes outside now told me when we move I can no longer do even that! In previous posts I mentioned my mom compares me to Howard Hughs for that, and I feel can't live with my mom and step-dad any longer! I've been talking to my counselor at the LGBT center to help me move but I'm worried I won't be able to get my disablity benefits so I can move (my step-dad is the payee, I was declared by my mom as incompetent, but he's old and ill). I don't know if we're being told to move out of our townhouse because of my alleged destructive activities with water. What can I do?
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I Need to MOVE from my Mom and Step-dad's Home (But I Need to get my Benefits)

[Jul. 9th, 2013|11:26 am]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

[**Current Mood** | worried

worried]My family has been ordered to move by apparentlly the homeowners association and my mom and step-dad accuse me of "destroying the house with water!" I wash off my stuff when I get home because they smell and last night the sink upstairs wsa stopped up--my mom who told me to wash my shoes outside now told me when we move I can no longer do even that! In previous posts I mentioned my mom compares me to Howard Hughs for that, and I feel can't live with my mom and step-dad any longer! I've been talking to my counselor at the LGBT center to help me move but I'm worried I won't be able to get my disablity benefits so I can move (my step-dad is the payee, I was declared by my mom as incompetent, but he's old and ill). I don't know if we're being told to move out of our townhouse because of my alleged destructive activities with water. What can I do?

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Catheter -- experiences??	[Jun. 21st, 2013\|07:02 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
Hiya,I’ve always had the odd slip-up with my bladder, but usually my control is very good, although I have good & bad days with it. When I’m stressed or upset it's not, (“stress-wee” if you will), I'm on tablets for it & for anxiety. I had a cat & dachshund who had the same problems; the dachshund even peed while he walked. I've been in situations where I’ve been unable to move, speak (apart from foldmaking a noise like “AUUUGH”), or think cos the pain's so bad, & any accidents are like a cloud burst. I never feel totally empty. I could be on the loo for ages but not be “done”. Where I live, they all try their best for me but they can't do my things every 5 secs; (they can't do anyone's things every 5 secs)I'm sick to death of all this & want a cath – an inside one – now -- but apparently there's no medical need for me to have one & it'll make me more disabled(!) Every time I voice my concerns it's just chalked up to anxiety, & if I went out more I’d be fine [sarcasm](course I will, I’ll just hold it in all day, shall I?? [/sarcasm]I've always just managed with adult nappies (diapers) but I hate them cos it's embarrassing, & when I’ve been out they've always been drenched.I want to go to various things I’ve always had a yen for – Renfaires, folk festivals etc. I’m a CPAP patient so I wouldn't manage all day cos of being unable to stand, no hoist (something about insurance) I also want to do supported living in the future, & there'd be more chance of this working was I cathed.What should I say to the dr. when I see them ?? Is it worth getting a carer on-side ?If you've got one 1 – how do you manage?? 2-- What does it feel like ??3 – How long did it take to get it ??4 – Do you ever regret your decision ?? Why/why not ??
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Catheter -- experiences??

[Jun. 21st, 2013|07:02 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

Hiya,I’ve always had the odd slip-up with my bladder, but usually my control is very good, although I have good & bad days with it. When I’m stressed or upset it's not, (“stress-wee” if you will), I'm on tablets for it & for anxiety. I had a cat & dachshund who had the same problems; the dachshund even peed while he walked. I've been in situations where I’ve been unable to move, speak (apart from foldmaking a noise like “AUUUGH”), or think cos the pain's so bad, & any accidents are like a cloud burst. I never feel totally empty. I could be on the loo for ages but not be “done”. Where I live, they all try their best for me but they can't do my things every 5 secs; (they can't do anyone's things every 5 secs)I'm sick to death of all this & want a cath – an inside one – now -- but apparently there's no medical need for me to have one & it'll make me more disabled(!) Every time I voice my concerns it's just chalked up to anxiety, & if I went out more I’d be fine [sarcasm](course I will, I’ll just hold it in all day, shall I?? [/sarcasm]I've always just managed with adult nappies (diapers) but I hate them cos it's embarrassing, & when I’ve been out they've always been drenched.I want to go to various things I’ve always had a yen for – Renfaires, folk festivals etc. I’m a CPAP patient so I wouldn't manage all day cos of being unable to stand, no hoist (something about insurance) I also want to do supported living in the future, & there'd be more chance of this working was I cathed.What should I say to the dr. when I see them ?? Is it worth getting a carer on-side ?If you've got one 1 – how do you manage?? 2-- What does it feel like ??3 – How long did it take to get it ??4 – Do you ever regret your decision ?? Why/why not ??

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(no subject)	[Mar. 26th, 2013\|08:37 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
Hiya,I'm nearly 30 & I've recently moved out. It's a small care home which is very good – yes I know I said this would never happen but, well, things do)As someone said, I’m now finding out who * I* am; i'm not just my parents' daughter anymore.I believe I may like a little from column A & a little from column B. <= => I've never had actual sex, because stiffness means I can hardly move & it would more than likely be painful. I doubt I will both because of this & because no-one has shown any interest. My interests are very odd for a woman & aren't conducive to getting much, if any, sex anyway. I've done the girly version, & would have had a repeat performance had she not been such a nasty piece of work that I had to cut contact.I had, & still have, a gargantuan crush on a certain older singer – not in a creepy way --, & wish to find someone who is similar in looks, if at all possible.1 – When I say older, I mean older; I’m talking white-haired folky hippie witchy (wo)man with voice of a Siren. I am dreading the questions – “is that one of your relatives??”2-- The carers I’m closest to know of my supposed leanings, (as does my mum, who never ceases teasing me – good-naturedly, though) & one carer I am close with is going to help me sign up to a dating site & plans to chaperone if she's allowed. 3-- I’m worried I will be asked to leave the home if/when I bring someone of the same gender back. I know this home wasn't where I planned to live but my needs are catered for surprisingly well & I see staff & residents as “adoptive family”. The other place I was offered was crapuscular, & didn't even do the basics. Had I not been disabled, I could've either come to terms with what I may be or boxed it up & forgot all about it. This is eating me up inside.
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(no subject)

[Mar. 26th, 2013|08:37 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

Hiya,I'm nearly 30 & I've recently moved out. It's a small care home which is very good – yes I know I said this would never happen but, well, things do)As someone said, I’m now finding out who * I* am; i'm not just my parents' daughter anymore.I believe I may like a little from column A & a little from column B. <= => I've never had *actual* sex, because stiffness means I can hardly move & it would more than likely be painful. I doubt I will both because of this & because no-one has shown any interest. My interests are very odd for a woman & aren't conducive to getting much, if any, sex anyway. I've done the girly version, & would have had a repeat performance had she not been such a nasty piece of work that I had to cut contact.I had, & still have, a gargantuan crush on a certain older singer – not in a creepy way --, & wish to find someone who is similar in looks, if at all possible.1 – When I say older, I mean older; I’m talking white-haired folky hippie witchy (wo)man with voice of a Siren. I am dreading the questions – “is that one of your relatives??”2-- The carers I’m closest to know of my supposed leanings, (as does my mum, who never ceases teasing me – good-naturedly, though) & one carer I am close with is going to help me sign up to a dating site & plans to chaperone if she's allowed. 3-- I’m worried I will be asked to leave the home if/when I bring someone of the same gender back. I know this home wasn't where I planned to live but my needs are catered for surprisingly well & I see staff & residents as “adoptive family”. The other place I was offered was crapuscular, & didn't even do the basics. Had I not been disabled, I could've either come to terms with what I may be or boxed it up & forgot all about it. This is eating me up inside.

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Groceries	[Dec. 9th, 2012\|10:31 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
I am trying to figure out groceries shopping and figured I would ask for advice.I currently have a great deal of difficulty navigating through the entire grocery store to get my weekly food needs met. No store near me has electric carts (and besides, I would need to carry them many blocks home). No store delivers to my zipcode.I have, quite literally, no idea of how to deal with this and have been reduced to tears many times in recent weeks. Anny advice?
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Groceries

[Dec. 9th, 2012|10:31 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

I am trying to figure out groceries shopping and figured I would ask for advice.I currently have a great deal of difficulty navigating through the entire grocery store to get my weekly food needs met. No store near me has electric carts (and besides, I would need to carry them many blocks home). No store delivers to my zipcode.I have, quite literally, no idea of how to deal with this and have been reduced to tears many times in recent weeks. Anny advice?

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Blackberry suggestions?	[Sep. 26th, 2012\|09:19 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
[Current Location \|Canada, Ottawa] [Current Mood	sleepy] [Current Music	Faunts -- M4 Part II]Hi all,My employer is about to issue me a Blackberry (yes, it has to be a Blackberry). I have very little useful eyesight, and generally avoid smartphones, because I can’t see enough of the screen to read anything. I’ve been told that magnification apps exist, but I think that using 6x magnification on a four-inch screen is absurd. That said, I’m open to a screen-reader or other voice navigation option. Does anyone have any experience with, or suggestions for, Blackberry options?Help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks,-Michael(Cross-posted like whoa...)
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Commercializing Diseases	[Aug. 27th, 2012\|12:53 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
[Current Mood \|curious]This might be a strange question, but I'll give it a try. Does your disease/health problem/disability have a logo or a slogan? If so, do you like it or dislike it? Do you even care?Alternately, do you have any strong (or note-worthy) feelings about diseases having logos to begin with? I haven't really ever heard this discussed, but have really disliked the logo for my (still officially undiagnosed but suspected) syndrome for quite some time, and was curious about other people's experiences and feelings about it.
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Commercializing Diseases

[Aug. 27th, 2012|12:53 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

[**Current Mood** | curious

curious]This might be a strange question, but I'll give it a try. Does your disease/health problem/disability have a logo or a slogan? If so, do you like it or dislike it? Do you even care?Alternately, do you have any strong (or note-worthy) feelings about diseases having logos to begin with? I haven't really ever heard this discussed, but have really disliked the logo for my (still officially undiagnosed but suspected) syndrome for quite some time, and was curious about other people's experiences and feelings about it.

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Вакансии!	[Aug. 7th, 2012\|08:53 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities
Здравствуйте!В центре психолого-педагогической поддержки семьи "Ключи" открыты вакансии:1. Воспитатель в логопедическую группу для работы с детьми 3-5 лет. Заработная плата от 23 000 до 30 000 рублей. Опыт работы более 1 года, знание программы развития и воспитания детей в логопедической группе детского сада. График работы 5/2 с 9.00 до 17.00. В группе 8 человек, ежедневно работают няня и логопед. Возможно поступление собственного ребенка в группу на льготных условиях.2. Няня для работы с детьми 3 - 6 лет, имеющими особенности развития. Заработная плата от 8000 рублей. Помощь в осуществлении ухода, гигиенических процедур, питания, прогулок. На группе ежедневно работают два педагога. Возможно поступление собственного ребенка в группу на льготных условиях.
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Вакансии!

[Aug. 7th, 2012|08:53 pm]No Pity: A Community for People with Disabilities

Здравствуйте!В центре психолого-педагогической поддержки семьи "Ключи" открыты вакансии:1. Воспитатель в логопедическую группу для работы с детьми 3-5 лет. Заработная плата от 23 000 до 30 000 рублей. Опыт работы более 1 года, знание программы развития и воспитания детей в логопедической группе детского сада. График работы 5/2 с 9.00 до 17.00. В группе 8 человек, ежедневно работают няня и логопед. Возможно поступление собственного ребенка в группу на льготных условиях.2. Няня для работы с детьми 3 - 6 лет, имеющими особенности развития. Заработная плата от 8000 рублей. Помощь в осуществлении ухода, гигиенических процедур, питания, прогулок. На группе ежедневно работают два педагога. Возможно поступление собственного ребенка в группу на льготных условиях.

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