and this is war ... (original) (raw)

I excused myself from Spike after we got back to what remained of the law firm. I figured he was going to rush to the hospital, and maybe I should do the same but I wasn't ready to deal with anyone yet. Looking around, I took in the bodies of the girls who didn't make it. How would they explain this? How could they possibly explain what happened here?

Girls my children's age. My daughter was on a jet to god knows where, and my son was at the hospital hoping his girlfriend didn't die. I didn't have any words of comfort for him. I didn't have it in me to comfort anyone.

We won. What a hollow victory this was. The dead needed to be counted. The parents and family's needed to be notified. We needed to pick up the pieces of our lives. I had no idea where to even start.

Sirens in a distance made me contemplate if I should stay. What would they do to me if they found me here? Would they hold me responsible for these girls? Was I responsible for these girls?

"Connor didn't look good. Do you think he'll make it?" One of the girls said to another. They were huddled together, staring at the bodies of their sister slayers. They'd managed just scrapes and bruises.

Connor. My brother. Was he going to die? Would that make Angel and I on even ground then? Losing children was never easy. I felt like I was going crazy, but maybe this was sanity for me. I wasn't screaming. I wasn't destroying things. I was simply watching life studying death.

"Go back to the hotel. Kim is waiting to patch you up." My voice sounded strange.

"You can't stay. The cops are coming. Tyler will be really upset if you get arrested for this," one said. I had no idea what their names were. I should know the names of every one of these girls, but I'd just been going through the motions for so long that I was detached.

"Go back to the hotel. I'm going to the hospital." They nodded and set off at a run. I followed, keeping just enough distance not to be right up next to them. I got to my car easy enough and took off for the hospital.

I needed to stop being detached.