Pictures Came and Broke Your Heart (original) (raw)

Last Sunday, Jan 31st, was the Southern Sprints at Florida Tech in Melbourne. The scene was a gym of 60 ergs plus older model warm up ergs and hundreds of rowers, mostly high schoolers, talking, cheering, grunting, and throwing up. Dave, Heather, and I were the only ORC rowers competing in an event. Dave drove me up along with our fans, his wife and my husband. It's not that I like the erg. Like any runner confined to a treadmill, I'd rather be rowing. But significant evidence has time after time shown me that the boat that takes their erg supplemental work outs seriously will always prevail. Do weights on the side. Run. Yoga. That will helped, but there's something about the erg work outs, especially when done together as a team, that makes the boat happen. Perhaps it's that whole "misery loves company" theory where you're given an opportunity to "all be in this together". It not only keeps you honest with your splits, but you're also seeing physical proof that everyone else in your boat is pulling. So I decided to do the Southern Sprints. Mostly it was for the month long erg work out program, but also to give myself an opportunity to develop and carry out to finish a course of action.

So why didn't I get the split I wanted?

This of course falls entirely onto my shoulders. I was excellent with getting my work outs done pretty much to a T for the first two weeks. I used the pace function on the erg to make sure I wasn't going to slow or too fast. In mid January I suffered a few hip flexor set backs and the third week of work outs was a compilation. Another hip injury the week before took me off the erg for the rest of the month. I did not taking a pre tests or do any dry runs. Dave later told me he decided to do a trial erg each week so he could develop a race plan and start to feel each stage of the race. While I did have a race plan, it focused more on short term goals through out the 2,000 meters: start, power 10, length 10, ten for Rob, then start taking tens for various areas of technique, ten for the half way point, ten for 500 meters left, and start the sprint at 200 meters left. No where in there did I focus on feeling, which I think would have greatly improved my performance. I also should have chosen my songs early and done my pre tests to the music.

But I think the most important missed aspect was my B vitamins. My nutritionist prescribed me TRI-B-Plex by Anabolic Laboratories. Many people take it for general energy, but specifically it was prescribed to target my quads and hip flexors. These muscles feed off of the B vitamin and when you have a deficiency as I tend to, there's no fuel for them. I ran out and kept forgetting to pick up a new bottle. This would explain the chronic hip injuries and when you consider that, it was really quiet reckless of me to not pick up another bottle, especially as I see my doctor once a week.

That morning Dave and stretched together and then did some warm ups. Mostly I tend to do 30 second off, power 10, 30 sec off, etc. each time increasing my tens. Laura explains that we have the tendency to reserve ourselves on the warm up for feat of burning all our energy. But in contrast, you want to give your muscles a taste of the power you expect to be performing. Failure to properly warm up is why many people (myself included) tend to see their second piece (if they have one) as being a better one. The tens were going well and I stretched a bit more before coming over to my erg on the end (Erg #1) and just experiencing my environment while stretching a bit more. I met the girl next to me who was in the 30- 39 category as well, but open weight. She was really nice and we had the same water bottle. A previous ORC rower named Lisa, had introduced herself to me before and was a few ergs down. We waved to each other. I find these sort of things help, again it's a "we're all in this together" sort of motivation. I put on my headphones to test the volume and get my first song to the place where the music drops in. Jared nudged me because we were all standing for the national anthem. After that I paddled a bit on my erg until the screens told us all to stop and wait for the signal. ATTENTION appeared on my monitor. I sat a three quarter slide. Then ROW and I went.

My start was amazing. I was aware that I was in this gym with people shouting, but with the music and the focus I internalized my piece. Between that and my whole body going absolutely numb, I felt very detached, a no-thing-ness, if you will. I glanced at my split during the first ten and was in the low 1:40s. It was a feeling like I could go forever. At about 1200 meters the story had drastically changed. We call this mistake "fly and die" and I am ashamed to say it is usually made by amateurs. I could dramatically feel the effects of the B deficiency. My heart was going strong. My breathing was working well to oxygenate my blood and muscles. My abs, chest, back, everything was ready to hit that 2:00 split goal. But there was absolutely nothing in my quads. Sit on your leg for a while until it goes to sleep and then try to stand. It's a frustrating moment of paralysis. It's a very similar feeling, being able to pin point your fatigue to one muscle group, only the pins and needle feeling isn't there. Instead it's an exhaustion like you would normally feel in your chest after a run, but it's in your quads. That same stripped, burned out feeling. My splits rose up, up, up. At one point I think I saw 2:12, but mostly I remember 2:10. You can't change your screen settings and this one calculated your average split. I usually avoid that because when that goes up my hope goes down. I tried not to look. I should have taped over it. If anyone else came over to see them I didn't realize. I only heard Jared because he came up to the front of my erg and looked me in the face. I couldn't really hear all of what he's saying, by that point you go through oxygen deprivation and all your supplies go away from brain function. But it was something about "C'mon!" and "Get your split down." But at that point I absolutely positively couldn't. It's the absolute worst and frustrating feeling and i can only explain it like when you have a dream you have fallen and can't get up no matter how much effort you put in. Again there's that numbing. You know you're extorting a lot of effort, you know you can't do anything beyond what you are currently doing, but you also know it's not good enough. Later Jared said he looked at my face and knew I was in trouble, knew I would not be able to get the split down any more.

Nausea had set in, I could taste the almonds I ate an hour before and I started to hate them. I'm not sure what was preventing me from throwing up all over the front of myself and my erg, but I could feel some sort of muscular tension. My music was blasting but I absolutely did not care. It couldn't motivate me at all, even though it felt like it was trying extra hard. I remember Jared being there at 200 meters left. All I could do for my sprint was try to take up the rate. I think I managed to go from a 26 to a 27. Not being able to have that explosive last 20- 25 stroke split is like "blue balls", your race just sort of fizzles out to an end. I remember Jared saying last 5 and me thinking I actually should have closer to ten, but he must have counted out the strokes for me because we arrived at the last one together. Then, I don't know if I did it just because I could, but I doubled over while struggling to unhinge my feet and started coughing. The moment you stop you feel your pores catch up with you and sweat started oozing everywhere, stinging my eyes and fogging my glasses. I grabbed the trash can they put by each erg and start heaving. I wanted to get up those almonds, that tea, that water, that protein shake, everything I had drank that morning and just purge myself of this entirely disappointing piece. But again my efforts brought no bounty when all that I was able to spit up was a few pockets of foamy mucus. The underlying theme being a continuation of a chase at some sort of conclusion, never to reach that final closing line.

Jared's hand must have been on my back, I don't know. You internalize so much. The girl next to me had all her high school rowers (she was a coach) behind her cheering. I knew she had done well. Jared handed me a glass of some neon yellow piss in a cup one of the official had given him. It tasted like sports drink which I try to stay away from because they're usually filled with HFCS, way too much sodium, and sugar. But before your brain has it's blood supply back you do what you're told and I drank it with out tasting it. When I could finally stand I congratulated my neighbor and she told me she had gotten her goal of 7:40 with a 7:39.something. I was happy I made weight and pissed at myself. Dave too got a PR. I was happy for him but it was just another reminder at how poorly prepared I was. Lisa told me she didn't get her goal either and I felt relieved, but I don't think it was schadenfreude, at least I hope not.

In the end I rowed my 2k in 8:14.8, with a split of 2:03.7. I wasn't able to get my goal of 2:00 flat, nor was I able to beat my Rollins split of 2:01.9 from 1998. I did however, PR in terms of my time at ORC. Before that my best time was a split of 2:03.9 back in May of 2009, when we were submitting erg tests to be considered for the national boat going to New Jersey. And that was an erg where I did everything right. So that means things can only get better form here. Today my doctor's office is open and I plan on swinging by after work to get the largest size bottle of Tri- B Plex. The sports masseuse I went to on Friday told me I had torn my hip flexor and it was now repairing itself and we have to stretch the muscle tendons back out. The process is pretty painful, but I can do much of it myself. So I take full responsibility in this bitter sweet gold medal I have and I know have a plan for the 2010 rowing season.