peacenotpanic (original) (raw)

Hey, everyone!

I'm Stephanie, your other maintainer/co-mod. I'm 26 years old, originally from South Carolina, but now I'm living in SW Florida. It's hot, it's crowded, and I don't recommend it.

My official diagnosis is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My first panic attack happened when I was 19. They come on randomly, and I really can't identify any triggers, even after all this time. A lot of them happen when I'm driving, but they don't happen every time I drive or every time I get on the interstate, etc. My fun-filled anxiety attacks come with nausea, lightheadedness, feelings of intense heat OR cold (never the same - fun, right?), and a general feeling of "GET ME OUT OF THIS SITUATION RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" That's what makes car panic attacks super fun - I'm usually barreling along with no way to "get out" of my situation save pulling over, which I hate to do because I'm a fighter and I want to fight through my panic attacks! I've only ever had to pull over once, when I just couldn't deal with it. I called my parents to pick me up, and that, of course, freaked them out. I try to keep my attacks private, because I don't want people to label me or put a stigma on me, and because it's just so hard to explain to someone what's going on when I'm having a panic attack. They don't believe me, because I don't shriek and cry and flail about when I'm having one. I guess if I put on more of a show, more people would believe me!

I was on Lexapro for a year from 2009-2010. It helped IMMENSELY, but it also gave me 30 extra pounds which I am not okay with, and which I am STILL struggling to get rid of. I tapered off of Lexapro earlier this year with the help of Prozac, and right now I'm not on anything. My doctor has mentioned trying Pristiq, but I'm reluctant to go on another SSRI. The past couple of weeks have been very difficult, though - we're talking daily attacks and I'm almost to the point where I don't even want to go outside for fear of having one. That's why this community could not have come at a better time for me (Thanks, Sheryl!)

One of my personal relief methods is, believe it or not, games on my cell phone. My phone is something that I always have on me, and something about focusing on a game (Mah Jongg, Solitaire, whatever) calms me down and takes me out of that place of panic. Another method, which is better for being in the car, is CDs by my favorite comedian, James Gregory. I've heard the jokes before, but they're familiar and laughter really is the best medicine sometimes.

I hope that this community provides a safe place of relief for sufferers, no matter how you handle things individually. Enjoy!