Hilarie Burton Has Open Conversations with Her Kids About Menopause, Periods and Puberty: 'Give a Dude Tampons' (Exclusive) (original) (raw)

Hilarie Burton stresses the importance of being open about the ways our bodies change as we age.

While chatting with PEOPLE about her perimenopause journey and partnership with Olly on their new Mellow Menopause supplements, the One Tree Hill alum, 42, shared she's opened up about these hormone changes with her son Augustus "Gus," 14, and daughter George, 6, whom she shares with husband Jeffrey Dean Morgan, 58.

"What I found is there's a bit of a generational breakdown," the mom of two explains of the "taboo" conversations surrounding menopause. "People who are older than me haven't typically spoken about it. Menopause has always been the punchline to a joke about women, and that's bulls---."

She continues, "So my job is to make it so common that not only are people anticipating menopause, but they're supporting it in the workplace, in the home, whether it's in your spouse relationship or with your kids."

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Hilarie Burton and Jeffrey Dean Morgan Family.

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"I talked to my teenage son about how I'm going through hormone changes while he's going through hormone changes," Burton shares with PEOPLE. "Being a mother, it is really important. We get to raise a whole new generation of kids that are talking about it from the jump. It's not some secret that they learn decades into their life."

Gus is in high school now, and Burton says the puberty conversation came up when he was "freaking out about something."

"I was like, 'My guy, it's not real. This is your body having a chemical reaction that is making it feel bigger than it is the same way mom sometimes freaks out because my body's having a chemical reaction,' " she recalls telling her son. "And so being able to have those conversations with your kids is really helpful."

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Hilarie Burton.

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"And with your partners and with your girlfriends, too," she adds. "I think we all are a little more gentle with each other when we know, 'Hey, my cycle's being really weird. Be gentle with me.'"

The same goes for periods, Burton says, sharing, "I talk about periods with both my kids!"

She recalls a controversy her town experienced when the school systems were putting feminine hygiene products in boys' bathrooms. "There was backlash to that, and it certainly became a topic of conversation where I lived," she tells PEOPLE.

"I saw someone say on the internet, 'My son has tampons in every bathroom in our house because he lives with me and his sister, and he will one day also live with other women and he does not need to have his head in the sand about this,' " Burton says. "And I think if we are wanting to 'fight the man,' we have to start when they're little, and we have to expose our kids to subject matter that used to be taboo — that is actually just basic human functions."

"That's the first test you put a dude through," she jokes. "Give a dude tampons. And if you can't do it, we're done."

Being candid about aging as a woman has long been an important value of Burton's, especially as the "youngest woman" in the gray hair club. As to why, Burton says, "I feel better in my own skin knowing that this is who I am and I'm not pretending to be anybody else, and I want other women to feel the confidence to do the same thing."

Being open and confident about her experience with perimenopause symptoms starting in her "late thirties" is no different.

"I think the misconceptions were that you don't go into menopause until you are an old, old woman. And it's kind of like it signals the end of your vivacious years. That was certainly the conception when I was young," Burton recalls. "So when I started experiencing menopause symptoms, I was like, 'Surely not. I'm in my late thirties. There's no way I'm experiencing this.'"

She adds, "These hot flashes in the middle of the night are not a joke... I wake up with these night sweats and hot flashes and it inspires rage because you can't understand what is happening to your body. It's like waking up from a nightmare multiple times a night."

Burton says she turned to her girlfriends to see if they could relate, and after comparing their symptoms, "It seemed like everyone was experiencing the same things I was, but no one was talking about it."

"So I think if we kind of dash that conception that it's only old ladies and we let people know that hot, young, powerful, fun women are also having hot flashes and also experiencing these symptoms."

If women are open about their "basic human functions," from periods to perimenopause, says Burton, "I think not only will we receive more care, but we'll receive more support from our communities."