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this place is somewhat dead, so i thought i'd tell a bedtime story.

when i was 3 and a half and sitting in my maths class at nursery school in my grey pleated skirt and white flowery blouse uniform, i suddenly got an idea. in fact, in my three and a half years of being alive this was my best idea yet. i had always been taught to tell the truth, and though the answer was unprovoked i figured that this was neccesary.

i raised my hand

my red faced and annoying teacher asked me what it was.

this was it... my masterplan

"mrs politilo, my daddy says you're a cow."

yes, it's all true.