MODESTY BLASÉ IS MORE LIKE IT! (original) (raw)

Sat, May. 7th, 2005, 01:22 pm

phyllisgabor: MODESTY BLASÉ IS MORE LIKE IT!

I was kind of disappointed by Modesty Blaise. It's a mess, but it's a beautiful mess. The plot has the coherency of a fever dream, and the title character never really gets to do anything cool. The only reason we know she’s an internationally infamous spy and super criminal is that people keep telling us. BORING! The only neat thing she does is change her hair color at will. And she has great clothes and a groovy revolving apartment, but that’s it. She does not live up to her theme song, which is something a 60s spy movie character must always do.

The movie's main saving graces are its super mod sets and costumes. And Dirk Bogarde is brilliant as Gabriel, Modesty's fey, silver haired arch-nemesis (I think he's supposed to be what Andy Warhol would have been like as a James Bond villain).

Some other cool things:

--You get to see a SUPER VIXEN in an orange bikini and matching caftan strangle a mime to death with her thighs (this part is stupefying, but when I saw it I died a little inside, because I knew Orange Crush would be getting into a stupid cat fight with Modesty at the end, and sure enough, she did).

--Modesty Blaise is tortured by being thrown into a room with incredibly loud wallpaper (honest)

--Modesty's cockney sidekick Willie (played by Terence Stamp) is super hot when he’s not blonde (he has hair color changing powers too).

--At the end of the movie Gabriel is tortured by being left to bake in the hot, hot sun in the desert with a transistor radio blasting "Ice is Nice" (which is basically "Gloria" with different words) in his ear. "Champagne..." he gasps, "Champagne..."

This movie would be awesome playing in the background of a bar on mod night or something like that, but watching it in the comfort of your own home is a recipe for boredom with flurries of “oh, I like that wig.” I'm afraid the superior lady spy caper movie is Raquel Welch's Fathom.


Oh God, not the WALLPAPER!

Sat, May. 7th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC)

mvmontgomery

It's a very silly movie but I love it.

Sat, May. 7th, 2005 08:27 pm (UTC)

murdermystery

i'm with you, but I claim the movie's main redeeming factor to be the incredibly HOT terence stamp, as evidenced by this gigantic animated gif I made:

OMG HOT

Anyway, I liked it, but was incredibly bored, and I totally agree with you that Fathom is the bees knees.

Sun, May. 8th, 2005 12:14 am (UTC)

jimmymontrose

Fathom is awesome. I've never managed to see Modesty Blues, but I've been meaning to get a cheap copy of it to play in the bar...

Sun, May. 8th, 2005 09:17 pm (UTC)

phyllisgabor

It would be perfect for your bar, and I think the DVD of it is pretty cheap. The soundtrack's been reissued recently, too.

Sun, May. 8th, 2005 09:17 pm (UTC)

phyllisgabor

AWESOME. What I wouldn't give to have a soapy naked Terence Stamp in my backyard...

It's a strange movie, since it manages to be really cool looking and stone cold boring at the same time.

Mon, May. 9th, 2005 04:18 pm (UTC)

the_automatik

I can't see the photo!!!!

Mon, May. 9th, 2005 04:19 pm (UTC)

the_automatik

I've always wanted to see this.