PoWeR tO tHe RaInBoW (original) (raw)

Hey everyone long time not talk.

What would you guys do? Here is the story:

For about the last 6 months of our relationship we fought...A LOT! About things that were VERY important to me, but most obviously miniscule to her. Basically, she is pretty butch (not FTM, just tom-boyish) and seems to think she should be in control of EVERYTHING! She works the night shift, so when she was working, I was trapped in our apt. If i went anywhere or had anyone over, i got the million questions. I never cheated on her, or even thought of it. SHE is the one worthy of mistrust, having kissed another girl in a bathroom at the local "pub." Luckily i walked in or else she wouldn't have told me! So, i forgave her for that (God knows why??) and we moved on. Anyway the guilt trips continued. I mean, it got bad, if we were watching a movie and she was ready to go to bed and I wasn't she would say stuff like "well, god forbid you come and spend time with me" like watching the movie w/her is not spending time. I don't know....anyway.
In August, we moved in with some roomates b/c I was starting school and wouldn't be working that much. (this was another topic of MANY fights, b/c she thought I should WAIT TO GO TO SCHOOL!!! when I busted my ass to get accepted and get financial aid, etc) Well about the 2nd week we lived there, this girl lisa started calling her. I didn't think anything of it b/c she has known this girl for 10 years at least. Well she would call and text message at all hours of the night. I even left early from the club one night and left steph w/lisa! The next day steph ended it w/me. She said she was tired of fighting, and SWORE to me it wasn't for someone else. well, two days later, I get a text message "i think you should know that lisa and i are more than just friends" 2 DAYS LATER!! Then, i had NO choice but to keep living w/steph b/c i don't have anywhere else to go. There would be nights i had to sleep on the couch while her and LISA were HUMPING in the bed that we shared for 2 years!
Anyway, about 3 weeks later she came to me and said "This isn't fair to lisa. either i have to move out or your have to move out." Well, she knew I couldn't afford the place, b/c I was in school, so she knew i would be the one to go. I HAD NO WHERE TO GO! luckily some mutual friends let me move in.
STeph and lisa broke up 2 weeks later!
Well, to cut it short (there's much more, but y'all get the point) Now, i had to move back in and she is telling me she loves me and she's sorry and she knows that i'm the one she wants to spend her life with...etc.
Basically at this point i have told her that in feb i will be getting my pell back, my loan, and income tax. so, i can support myself. So, she has until feb to change the way i feel. Right now i'm not sure what to do. Or how to feel. It is so flattering to have someone tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life w/you. And it's not like i can shun her completely or i'll be homeless again. So, I just don't know what to do!

HELP!!!!!! Any advice would be useful. basically the only person i have to talk about this with is Nicole. And, I know she is getting annoyed w/it! Okay, so peace.

Candace