pro-reality @ LJ's Journal (original) (raw)

[24 Jun 2005|08:44pm]
Hi all! Losing the weight is getting easier, as long as I can stay away from pizza and oreo cookies, but I still need more support.I think I posted the link to my site here before, but it wasn't quite ready for the public eye at that point. I encourage all of you to pay us a visit again and check everything out.http://www.realeasyweightloss.comI've been working hard on getting this all up and running, so I would appreciate it if you all could take a moment, check it out, and let me know what you think. The NEW Realeasyweightloss.com! -Weight Loss Journals -New Recipe section!-More content! -Weight Loss Newsletter -More Weight Loss programs than ever! -Review and comment on any and all programs/stories on this site -Vote for your favorite prorgams and help others acheive their goals! -All new forums! -Much much more!Roam around the site and let us know what you think and how we can better help you. Also, don't be afraid to share this wonderful resource with others.Thank you all for your time!Sorry for the x-post
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Hi! [09 Mar 2005|04:17pm]
One scared, lost, confused new person. I'm joining this group because it's not extremist: in age, or outlook. I'm also not very good at computers, and some other groups have all sorts of scary-sounding rules - and I'm worried about accidentally violating them! If you want some more details, check out my journal - which I don't post in as often as I should. Basically, ED-NOS fits me best, but with serious anorexic tendencies. And yeah, some days I know I'm not that fat. But *always* I feel it. Mainly I'm confused with myself: not entirely sure I 'deserve' an ED label. And that thought scares me too. Also, I wonder what it is that's screwing with my head so much? (I used to self-harm...now I just starve and/or over-eat! How ironic.)Erm...rambling now. Sorry. Spent much of this afternoon hunting for a nice support group, so my head's reeling a little. take care x
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Eating Disorders Research [07 Dec 2004|08:42pm]
All:(If you’ve seen this on other communities, its been UPDATED, please read) Hey everyone, Id like to introduce myself. My name is Lindsay and Im 22, a graduate from SUNY Fredonia. I will be going on to grad school in Fall 2005 and in the meantime I want to do some research. I will be going on to school for social work to study eating disorders. I am in the very early stages of putting together a lengthy survey that I plan to turn into a book (before I return to school). This is where all of you come in. I would like to know if any of you would be interested in taking a survey such as this. It would be completely confidential (you would give only me personal info. for my record-keeping). This is going to be looked over by a lawyer before I send it out, so it will be very legit. The questions range from demographics (name, age, sex etc.)- personal data such as names would not be disclosed, to questions about your personal struggle, media influence, mental health background etc. I believe I am qualified to do research like this because I have struggled with an eating disorder for years, I feel like I have a non-judgemental outlook and the ability to ask questions that maybe haven't been asked before. I’d like to make it CLEAR that I am looking to survey males and females of ALL shapes and sizes as well as current health statuses. If you have struggled with an eating disorder in the past or are now and you happen to be interested, great! If not, that is absolutly fine and I hope that I haven’t offended you by posting on this community. I have posted to this community because it includes the interest ‘eating disorder’. I am at the beginning of my research, and it will take me a lot of time to get a wide range of people (pro AND anti ana people etc.)This is a rather non-personal email (sorry) that I intend to send to as many of these eating disorder based livejournal groups as possible. That is because I need help from ALL of you. If you are interested- email me ED_Research@hotmail.comIf you respond to this on a community, chances are I won’t see it for a very long time. This is because I am having very successful responses (YAY) from this post, and it takes me a very long time just keeping up with my emails. I am so sorry about that and I mean no disrespect to your community, if you feel that way then you may simply delete this post.Please keep in mind that I am in the beginning stages and although I want to move the processes along quickly, it may take time before I am able to send the finalized survey out. If you email me, I will try my best to respond in a timely fashion and answer any questions you may have.Thank you so much, Lindsay
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Hey guys..... [21 Aug 2004|11:44pm]
[ mood | crushed ] just wondering if anyone else is seeing a physchotherapist or e.d doctor right now. Going has really helped my family's communication, and it is just so much more pleasant at home now. i am not sure that I even want to get better sometimes. My boyfriend/ best friend just left for college, and I am just so sad. I don't see why I should work my ass off to get better. My life has been this way for years, and i am not in the mood to fight for normality right now. I don't want to gain weight ever. I am not sure why I even care. I guess if it would make me a happy person it would be worth it. Either way.....I am dreading going back to the doctor. it just depresses me to have to talk about everything that is wrong about my life, and what i have done to get myself here. I am running low on tears to cry.
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Bingeing Brings Me Misery [06 Aug 2004|11:53pm]
They all start out the same way, I look around for something to eat, WHY?? Because I'm not "FULL" and I feel that I must be FULL. How dumb is that??? WHY DO I WANT TO BE STUFFED?????? it feels TERRIBLE. and so.. i look on the tables, i look in the fridge, and i grab everything i see because i want to eat... and so i eat and eat and eat. and then i try and stop. and i DO... for like two seconds... and then i go back and eat some MORE. I hold a FEW crackers in my hands and i eat 'em and say to myself THATS IT!! NO MORE!!! but a few minutes after i find myself going back for MORE. WHY?? I... don't... know. I just want ALL of the crackers I want to finish EVERYTHING!! I want it ALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! why?? again, i dont know. and after the binge?? i feel all guilty inside... and i look at my bloated stomach, and i FEEL my bloated stomach, and i weigh myself... measure myself... look in the mirror. and i HATE what i see. 'cause what i see is this horrific person who cannot control herself while eating. and i wonder, "what have i done?? look at that fat." i did this to MYSELF. -sigh- please someone HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to stop. i dont want to binge. i LIKE not bingeing. but yet.. i also LOVE it... but i HATE IT!!!!!!! i cant live without it.... but i cant live WITH it either. b/c this Eating Disorder is out to get me. it will KILL ME. and i dont want to spend the rest of my life living like this... bingeing.... counting calories... thinking about my weight all the time. I CANT live like this anymore. I HAVE TO RECOVER. I NEED HELP!! But i cant seek it... so i MUST HELP MYSELF, RIGHT???? but i feel so stuck. i've tried to help myself SO many times already... and each time i keep failing and failing and failing and falling and falling and retrogressing. i...... i have nothing to say about myself. i am so ashamed.please!! ANY comments. some input would be greatly appreciated....
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[05 Nov 2003|08:49pm]
My therapist is going to talk at an ED conference and he's going to use the CD I gave him.
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Ana's Gone Surfing [29 Nov 2003|04:48pm]
the BPS (british psychological society) produces a journal for it's members every month; i've been catching up with the back-log that i haven't been able to read when finishing my BSc; the august 2003 issue (vol 16 no 8) by Patrick Davies and Zara Lipsey devotes an article to ana and pro-ana websites. when i first started reading the article, i thought it was denouncing pro-ana sites, but it turns out that they had the same idea that i've had all along - here's what one doctor wrote, as a quote:INSIGHT THROUGH INTERNETShe was aged 14, and I was a young senior house officer on the paediatric ward, when I took the call from her GP asking whether we could admit her urgently as she was medically critical in her weight loss. As the ward SHO and as the admitting doctor, I had most to do with her for the time of her admission. I spent much time talking to her and trying to enthuse her with motivation and goal-orientated thinking. I printed out weight charts for her with a skewed X-axis, making er target not to fall of the bottom of the page. I talked to her parents, I talked to the family, I talked to her alone.And yes, she did put on some weight, but then the next time she had lost it, again. And the time after that even more. By the time a bed was eventually found in a specialist eating disorders unit, her weight was below her admission weight, far below her targets, and she had of course fallen off the page on my chart.At the time I felt disappointed both personally and professionally. Not only had I failed to get her weight up (or even stable), but she had rebutted my efforts, beating me easily on insight. I thought that I had got through to her; she was simply biding her time until this annoying doctor went away.It was not until a while later that I started looking around the pro-anorexia websites and became aware of the depth of the condition. Maybe the honesty displayed there can help specialists to refine treatment, an area which as a paediatrician I find difficult and frustrating. However, the new insight I have into the state of mind that is anorexia means I can understand more, empathise a little, and maybe stay one step ahead.any thoughts or opinions?
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BPS The Psychology of Eating Seminar [08 Oct 2003|05:12pm]
the british psychological society is holding a seminar onsaturday, 29 november 2003at treliske hospital, truro, cornwallfrom 1100 to 1500with speakersnatalie savona (nutritionist): choosing food: an upward spiraljulie mccormack (west cornwall child & family service): beyong the surface of eating disorders: identity, relationships and contextmary lou woodhead (eating disorders support): body issues for the millenniumwith question time after each session.costs (including coffee and lunch):BPS full members - £20BPS students and retired members - £15Non BPS members - £30please contact diane voyzey (dianevoyzey at btinternet dot com) for enquiries and a registration form.*i will be attending this seminar (hopefully with spiralweaver) and i'll look forward to reporting what comes of it back here if anyone is interested. likewise, if anyone has any topics you'd like me to address or questions, please let me know. i'm particularly keen to hear what the last speaker has to say about ED's and the internet. if she doesn't say anything, i'll remind her ;)
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[22 Aug 2003|12:18pm]
[ mood | pleased ] Here's an interesting site I found on my friends list; it's appropriately called AdiosBarbie.com, "A Body Image Site For EVERY Body."Lots of good articles on body image and how the media affects our perception of weight--plus what I think is going to become my new favorite computer game, Feed The Model.I'll be bookmarking this one right up there with Something-Fishy and Mirror-Mirror.
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[13 Aug 2003|11:57am]
[ mood | tired ] just thought i'd mention that 2ndplace has passed the pro-reality clique on to me. we're still in the process of letting people know, so if you're a member with a website, please change the address to the clique.Pro Realityi'll be working at adding more content to it over the next few weeks, but for now, it's functioning as it should be and that's good enough for me.Hope all is going well for everybody :)
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[11 Aug 2003|06:50pm]
[ mood | hot ] Ok, it's been a while since i posted in here but I have to admit this to someone and I feel beter talking to people who have some kind of understanding as to what I'm talking about.Up until recently I didn't consider myself EDed but I'm not so sure anymore. I've always had a love hate relationship with food but this is getting out of hand. I want to stop myself eating so much, I want to be slim but it doesn't seem to matter how hard try the weight just doesn't shift. I know it's unhealthy to obsess about weight loss and that it hurts and concerns those closest to me but being as big as i am upsets me to the point of madness.I really don't want to go through the whole making myself sick thing again, I've been there before and it didn't do me any favours. I want to stay healthy but my mind seems to prefer otherwise.
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how to keep growing in height? [20 Jul 2003|12:12pm]
ok i'm 18 and i'm still growing in height but i feel like i have to be careful because i'm worried about stunting my growth. during the time that i was anorexic (2 years) i wasn't getting my period and i wasn't getting taller at all, but ever since i got my period back and gained some weight i've been growing in height. i'm around a bmi of 18 and get my period regularly. i am bulimic but i've been a lot healthier and sort of recovering... i'm currently maintaining my weight and i eat 1600-2400 calories a day, usually get quite a bit of exercise (but was taking a short break from the gym), etc.. i can be obsessive about exercise and i worry about that stunting my growth (overexercise) but i'm trying to keep it balanced.i'm kind of a health nut. i try to make sure i eat things with nutrients, and get enough protein and unsaturated fat, etc, and I obsessively collect magazines like Shape and Women's Fitness. does anyone have knowledge/exerience with height growth, especially after being anorexic and not growing at all? i also take a calcium chew twice a day (the kind from trader joes.. they're actually really good =) ... like what else stunts growth and what helps growththanks,xojulia
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[18 Jul 2003|11:52am]
hmm... okay, maybe to get a bit of discussion going here: can you tell me the positives and negatives of your eating disorder?it just doesn't "happen", people acquire disordered eating for a reason, and the beneficial aspects seem to outweigh any negative ones, but not always.for example (and this example is completely fictional):i have BED (binge-eating disorder)why: i grew up in a family with poor financial standing. we had to eat what we were given when it was given, whether we were hungry or not. i now can't tell whether or not i'm hungry when i eat, i just do, and being overweight makes me really self-conscious, so i purge and exercise to make myself feel less guilty for the binges.positives: it feels good to eat, i get a high off of the release of anxiety, i can eat anything i want for an evening and not feel guilty, eating when i'm upset is my way of coping with stress, bingeing is my reward from abstaining from food (5)negatives: i feel terribly guilty after a binge, i feel fat and useless, i feel the need to try to exercise all the calories off and purge, physical problems from it (such as enamel erosion, sore throat), i've lost a lot of friends trying to conceal my eating habits (5)my positives and negatives are equal. i'm not sure whether i can give my disordered eating up right now. OR my positives outweigh my negatives, so i think i'm most comfortable keeping my disordered eating for right now/but i'm not sure if i think it's worth it.ORmy negatives outweigh my positives, so i think it might be time to find a better way to cope with things other than through my ED/but i'm not sure i can make the change or have the support i need.you don't need to use the same format if you don't want to, i just thought it might be helpful to put it this way.
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[08 Jul 2003|10:19pm]
[ mood | distressed ] This is insane. My parents are out at dinner, and my sister is out at a party. It's getting late, and I am still home alone with the dog.I ate so much tonight, and I have never actually suceeded in throwing up when I felt like this but I'm so upset that I don't even know which side is up. I'm actually signing online so that maybe I could find somebody to talk to right now. I think I am in need of that. Even though I have started running with cross country, which means that I push myself hard six days a week, my body has taken that to mean that I can eat whatever I want to.This hasn't been a problem. Usually, when left to eat normally, I still don't eat all that much. But I feel so bad. My body just can't handle sugar at all and it's playing with my mind. I need to sleep it off, I need to run it off, I need to get rid of this buzz. And still I refuse to throw up.God. What is happening to me?
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[21 Jun 2003|06:36pm]
[ mood | probe at self, poke at self. ] It is unfortunate that my view of what normalcy is shifts from behavior to behavior. I miss not caring about food: That was a good meal, and I'm actually truly not hungry. No need to overeat. (I liked that about reality; there is no such thing as overdoing it if you never care enough about what you eat to obsess about it, and then attack it like a starving animal. Oh, wait.)I miss looking at a good, healthy [more than fifteen bites to it] and real lunch with a glass of pale rasberry iced tea and thinking, Now, that's more like it.I don't like realizing right before I fall asleep that the one meal I kindasorta had that day isn't, indeed, right. I don't like lying to myself.I have been like this. I would much rather be honest about my stupid choices. Much rather jump out of bed each morning--though at that point I can be pretty sure that I would have had barely enough energy to drag the covers off, never mind leap out of the bed--and say, "Yes! Fuck it! I know that only 300 in a day is fucking bad for me, and I know that I'm not going to eat more than half of that today. I'll go ahead and be the fool that I know myself to be, when I am like this! I will endorse in terrible behavior! Yes, I will be conscious of my self-destructive and entirely self-absorbed choices!"instead of tumbling like a dragging lump of fatigue into bed some nights thinking_What are you talking about, I ate today. Really._
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[03 Jun 2003|12:52pm]
Hey everyone, im new here. I'm hoping to lose 40 pounds by mid-August. Ive already lost 30 (50 in total) but Im starting to lose motivation fast. Im going to be doing a Water/fruit/veggies only fast for the rest of this month. So in other words drinking tons of water everyday plus an orange, or apple, or carrot, or one thing of my choice. So what im looking for is any girls or guys that want to join me, so we can motivate eachother, give eachother tips, and compete with eachother (in a good way). Anyways I figure if we all help eachother out, we could all easily lose 30 pounds (or however much you want to lose) by August, or whatever month you are thinking of. As for me, I am so busy with school and work that I cant get to the gym till schools out, but fuck it I can still do sit ups and what not at home. so Anyways, yeah, leave me your AIM or AOL screen name and I will add you to my buddy list and whatever suggestions you have, And we can all start getting thin.... the more the better! Everyone is welcome, no matter how fat or how thin you are, even though all of you will say you are fat (haha). So come on people, i need your help. <3 p.s. Sorry for cross posting
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Hi [25 Apr 2003|01:06pm]
Just a quick post to say hello as I joined this community yesterday. I am 22 and have had issues about my weight for a long time. I wouldn't say I was anorexic or bullemic rather that I have some unhealthy attitudes towards eating.I was wondering if anyone could tell me whether or not they think food diaries are a good idea. This is an old habit of mine that I have started up again. The idea is that I can identify what I am eating that is bad for me. I have been trying to lose weight over the past few months and find that I'll lose a lot in one go and then it will yo-yo for a while before I lose any more. This strikes me as odd.Any comments would be gratefullly received. I would also like to say that I think support is essential for others but that it has to be practical support.Hugz to all.xx
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[24 Apr 2003|08:31pm]
hi all.i'm 20, my name's meg.i'm currently battling binging/purging tendencies, obsession with weighing myself, control/willpower, and dieting.i'm not sure if i want help or not. i'm not sure if i want to stop or not.i just wanted to join this community because it seems like a very down to earth place for ppl who just basically need support in life. not support for their ED, and not support for stopping....just plain old support.i just want to know i'm not alone and want to be able to talk to others with similar problems.thanks for listening. *hugz
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