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okay, this is random and complicated, but i'll try to keep it simple. it's also not about me, but i'm curious what you all think.

J has been super supportive to her cousin, K through a 3 week stay in a mental hospital and brand new bipolar diagnosis. The rest of the family is calling K a crazy, and other such gossipy crap. K gets out of the hospital Friday. The family is throwing a *barbeque* Saturday to celebrate her coming home.

J was told she can come if she makes sure to leave home S, her *doubly supportive to K* lesbian girlfriend. S is the only one involved who also has had any experience with psychiatry, etc, and has been working overtime to provide some gentle, educational perspective to the family. (whichever parts are allowed to know she exists, anyway)

J does not want to be marginalized, does not want to make a personal scene out of K's welcome-home thing (which is going to be a scene by definition, isn't it?) and does not want to abandon K. WTF does J do?