Boarding! (original) (raw)

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• **Location: On the poopdeck
• **Mood: aggressive
• **Music: Creakin' o' timbers and flappin' o' lips!

Board 'er, lads! You heard Miz Jane- time ter see what this here hoochie's made of, and clean the Celt's clock!

Cannonball Jane- the gundeck's yours, as are the ladies. Aim for the water line, girls, let's sink this one double-quick!

• Staggering (again) up the gangplank (what is left of it) late for Christmas...EXCEPT...

It's only the 6th day of the Christmas season. And all the Piratical Peeps I know hold out for TWELVE. Why, there's even a little song about it…

• *Hobbles up the gangplank, leaning on big ugly cane, breathing hard*

"Who...*wheeze*...made these *wheeze* gangplanks so *WHEEEEZE* farking...angled? They should be a straight easy walk from deck to ship. With…

• Runs up the gangplank

past the giant spiderwebs and torn sails and skeleton draped over the ships wheel (must remember to buy more ZombieBeGone zombie motels--"They…