crouching doofus, hidden stressball (original) (raw)

January 21st, 2014, 12:26 pm

crouching doofus, hidden stressball

Sorry I am just using my LJ to vent a little. Wheeee.

1. FUTUUUUUURE. I mean, who isn't stressed about that, right? Besides people who already have their careers and lives pretty much on-track. Yeah. Except maybe them. I am too much of a procrastinating lazy goofball to be an adult, who thought this was a good idea.

2. My writing projects are running together and then right off the table as School takes its place. I had goals for this year and I haven't accomplished a single one. I tried, but Things happened. Things like dropping a class and adding another, things like this past weekend's fun round of Crippling Self-Doubt and Hatred, things like Tumblr. I love the people I know on Tumblr but there are days I just want to delete the whole thing and bash my computer in and live as a hermit, using the school computers for my homework and bidding a fond farewell to the modern world. I need more alone time than I'm getting and my Alone Time isn't even Alone Time if I'm online chatting away about stuff that doesn't matter.

3. I miss the PpG community a whole heck of a lot but I don't have any more stories to tell in this fandom right now. I'm wrung dry.

4. I might be a little homesick, I think. But more for my friends than my family? Which sucks, because of course I miss my family and I love them to bits and pieces but I don't miss the environment of expectation and disappointment that I think is more of my own making than anything my family says or does. And I'm tired of being angry at my dad and not confronting him about why his approach to "helping" only makes me more scared and angry and frozen in place.

5. Man I wish I was dating and/or had a Boy, but at the same time, I don't know what my feelings are doing enough to trust myself in that situation. I'm probably better off alone, but I wish I wasn't.

6. Aaaand after not really posting here in months I just come and emotional-vomit everywhere. Super. Awesome. Really grade-a usage of Internet resources, congratulations.