Vote Rachel 4 teh G0vern0rrz!'s Journal (original) (raw)

1:33a

Rachel's Plan For Derby Day Too often, Kentucky's signature holiday has been overshadowed by another event. This year, when all good people should be getting drunk on mint juleps and placing bets that will generate tax revenue for Kentucky, many will be drinking beer and listening to mariachi music.

For the sake of the children, this must stop.

Yeah, whatever, the Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexico's defeat of France. Haven't we established by now that a kitten with a butter knife could defeat France militarily? The first Saturday in May has been established as the date of the Kentucky Derby for 7,352 years, according to Wikipedia. Cinco de Mayo has only been the fifth of May as long as there's been a Spanish language.

Thus, we propose moving Cinco de Mayo to the second Saturday in May, so it will never conflict with Derby Day. Quoth the Rachel, "Who cares if it means Fifth of May? We can totally celebrate it later. After all, the US never had to win independence from France or whatever."

All eyes should be on Kentucky on the first Saturday in May, not on some pinata, even if it is horse-shaped. Vote Rachel for the g0vern0rrz, and we won't have this problem again until at least 2012.