( - _).......z Z Z (original) (raw)

Its been a while since i last posted. Ranting sucks so dont read the following if you dont care.
So im in this jrock guitar tabs community and i joined it for the sake of learning to play the acoustic guitar like Miyavi. I got the stuff down, just nothing breathtakingly crazy. but anyway, i tabbed a bunch of songs and i tend to help people a lot in the community by helping them tab stuff as well. now it seems like im the primary target to receive tabs from. everyday theres a request for a guitarpro file from some random anonymous guy/girl. its flattering in all, but it feels like its becomming such a chore T___T . what bothers me even more is that there are more requests than active tabbers out there. i wish tabbing sites were never removed to begin with. it would make my life a lot easier. people point in my direction and i point somewhere else to help them improve themselves by themselves. is it right not to give the answer right away? it really feels like im depriving people of what they need rather than really helping them.

end of rant

i still play guitar everyday that goes by. making sure i climb the next step to becomming better than the people i respect. (lesson taken from Nana) it annoys me that i cant satisfy this urge to become better faster. this ambition drives me nuts! i also want to get better at singing with my playing, but its just so hard to break that shyness. i dont know how im going to get better if i dont do it. i feel like its so embarassing...especially trying to sing in japanese. anyway enough of this emo bullshiet

monster hunter rocks by the way. i havent had this deep interest in a game in a long time. after a bunch of games that eventually turned into the golden classics my expectation is so high for these games. i wonder if that phase will ever end with the nextgen systems.

so, ive gained a lot of weight and lost some weight. in highschool i weighed about 140 and i looked pretty skinny. after trying to gain weight (to escape all those "youre too skinny" comments) i gained about 45 pounds more. after school and cutting down on sugar i lost some weight. im down to 175 now and ive gotta lose about 15 more pounds to my desired weight. damnit why is it so hard to lose weight? i loved it when i was trying to gain weight...ive also been experimenting with my image. havent been liking anything so far...so im hoping after i lose some weight, things'll change a bit ~_~. i learned a bunch of techniques for hairstyling online and from magazines and crap. its kinda fun. even if it is a girly thing to do.

im pretty excited about the addition thats nearly finished. i have a new room that is about halfway done. i still dont know what color to paint it. im thinking of a soft gray tone but im not sure if it'll look good on walls cuz really, i just like that color.

something hilarious happened today:
michael shocked himself with a 1500 volt fly swatter. funny if you know my brother. ask me and ill tell you the story myself if you're interested, or actually read this far into this post.

why cant i be awesome faster? damnit!