renee9894, posts by tag: updates - LiveJournal (original) (raw)
| | My Dad would have been 60 years old today. Not a day goes by that you're not in my heart and thoughts. Imiss you. "You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never loses. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?Tags:♥, 99 lives, a series of unfortunate events, dad, family, i won't regret saying this, life, love, love is dis-gust-ing, truths, updates, wisdom, wrapped up in thingsLocation:looking backMood:sad
Music:Cat's in the Cradel So here is the deal everybody, some of my friends are on tour right now and coming to playat Will’s Pub in Orlando Florida on Sept. 14th, 2011… The Goddamn Gallowsis in my option one of the best bands around! I’m not just saying that because I’m friends with them, they will melt your face off with there awesomeness! Jayke OrvisI have only met once, but I dig him and his band. He is part of the Farmageddon Family so go show your support. JamesHunnicutWell if you can't tell from my posts over the last few months, I am Huge fan of his! His songs are amazing!He has a voice like velvet! He is not only talented, but he is one of the funniestsweetest guys you will ever meet! He has become my favorite person to see perform live. If you want to check him out, I have some videos of him performing up on my youtube page. My username is LUCKSlilDOLLY. Please go out and support them. I know it is a Wednesday night and you all have jobs, but it is going to be an amazing show! I’m going to bug the shit out of all of you until you agree to go! Bring your friends! Spread the word! Thanks!<input ... > Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them. <input ... > Mike Dehlin & James Hinnicutt. Tags:♥, 99 lives, all things considered, circles, family, fan club, fun, get on my level, love, shows, these things i know, travel, updates, well now ya know, wisdom, work, wrapped up in thingsLocation:In a Rockabilly Love AffairMood:pleased
Music:Long Black Veil/My Wayward Bride - by James Hunnicutt <input ... > Hanging out Back Stage with Austin Lucas at Seattle SoundFest. I met Austin just as he was coming off tour with Willie Nelson and he came into the radio show to do an interview. He's a great guy and I enjoyed seeing him again at the show. Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them. <input ... > Tags:99 lives, america, art, because that's how i roll, circles, fan club, friends, get on my level, happy like i used to be, life, outlaws, persona, shows, updates, well now ya know, who i used to be, work, wrapped up in thingsLocation:Back StageMood:grateful
Music:Run Around - By Austin Lucas ♥ I don't want to make you all puke, I just love him so much ♥ Tags:♥, 99 lives, all things considered, fan club, friends, happy like i used to be, i won't regret saying this, life, love, love is dis-gust-ing, shows, these things i know, truths, updates, well now ya know, wrapped up in things, you might be a contenderLocation:In a Rockabilly Love AffairMood:bouncy
Music:Risk the Fall - by James Hunnicutt I will be in the LA area from Feb 25th - 27th San Diego, CA the Feb 27th - March 2ndAnd Denver Colorado March 2nd - 7thSo if you are in those areas lets make plansTags:america, cause i'm a bad person, chs, crew 38, fan club, friends, fun, happy like i used to be, i won't regret saying this, outlaws, ragdoll, shows, these things i know, travel, updates, virginia is for lovers, well now ya know, who i used to be, work, wrapped up in thingsLocation:on the runMood:Show TimeMusic:Saving Grace - Everlast I'm moving to Capital Hill in a few months!Trystan and I are going to be roommates.Tags:all things considered, america, art, cause i'm a bad person, downsize, family, friends, fun, happy like i used to be, home, i won't regret saying this, i'm the only one laughing here, law, life, moving on, ragdoll, school, shows, something better left alone, the gap is from you, the nothing, these things i know, travel, truths, updates, we, well now ya know, wisdom, work, wrapped up in things, you might be a contenderLocation:Langley to SeattleMood:Twisted
Music:Flight of the Conchords Ep2 Inner City Pressure Tags:all things considered, america, analogy, back to me, because that's how i roll, biker, cause i'm a bad person, circles, dad, downsize, family, fan club, friends, get on my level, happy like i used to be, home, i'm just saying, i'm the only one laughing here, law, life, looking back, meds make me silly, moving on, outlaws, poptart, r.i.p, ragdoll, school, shows, sleep, so they say, something better left alone, the gap is from you, the nothing, these things i know, truths, updates, voyuerism, we, well now ya know, what i meant to say, who i used to be, wisdom, work, wrapped up in things, you might be a contenderLocation:misplacedMusic:Playboy Mommy - Tori Amos Tags:all things considered, analogy, back to me, because that's how i roll, biker, cause i'm a bad person, circles, dad, downsize, fan club, friends, get on my level, happy like i used to be, hate mail, i'm just saying, i'm the only one laughing here, life, looking back, love, moving on, outlaws, over it, poptart, r.i.p, ragdoll, shows, sleep, so they say, something better left alone, the gap is from you, the nothing, these things i know, truths, updates, voyuerism, well now ya know, what i meant to say, who i used to be, wisdom, work, wrapped up in things, you might be a contenderMood:busyMusic:School Night - Ani Difranco Oh, what the hell, " she says, "I just can't win for losing"And she lays back downMan, there's so many times I don't know what I'm doin'Like I don't know nowAnd by the light of the moon, she rubs her eyesSays, "It's funny how the night can make you blind"I can just imagineAnd I don't know what I'm supposed to doBut if she feels bad, then I do, tooSo I let her beAnd she says, "Ooh, I can't take no more"Her tears like diamonds on the floorAnd her diamonds bring me down'Cause I can't help her nowShe's down in itShe tried her best and now she can't winIt's hard to see them on the groundHer diamonds falling downWay downShe sits down and stares into the distanceAnd it takes all nightAnd I know I could break her concentrationBut it don't feel rightAnd by the light of the moon, she rubs her eyesSits down on the bed and starts to cryAnd there's something less about herAnd I don't know what I'm supposed to doSo I sit down and I cry, tooBut don't let her seeAnd she says, "Ooh, I can't take no more"Her tears like diamonds on the floorAnd her diamonds bring me down'Cause I can't help her nowShe's down in itShe tried her best and now she can't winIt's hard to see them on the groundHer diamonds falling downShe shuts out the night and tries to close her eyesIf she can find daylight, then she'll be alrightShe'll be alright, just not tonightAnd she says, "Ooh, I can't take no more"Her tears like diamonds on the floorAnd her diamonds bring me down'Cause I can't help her nowShe's down in itShe tried her best and now she can't winIt's hard to see them on the groundHer diamonds fallingOoh, I can't take no moreHer tears like diamonds on the floorBut her diamonds bring me down'Cause I can't help her nowShe's down in itShe tried her best and now she can't winIt's hard to see them on the groundHer diamonds falling downI can't take no moreDiamonds on the floorNo more (no more), no moreDiamonds falling downI can't take no moreDiamonds on the floorNo more, no more (no more, no more)Diamonds falling down, yeahI can't take no moreDiamonds on the floor (no more, no more)Her diamonds falling, all her diamonds (no more)Diamonds falling downI can't take these diamonds falling downTags:all things considered, back to me, biker, cause i'm a bad person, chs, circles, crew 38, dad, family, fan club, friends, get on my level, happy like i used to be, home, i'm just saying, i'm the only one laughing here, law, life, looking back, meds make me silly, moving on, outlaws, over it, poptart, r.i.p, ragdoll, sleep, so they say, something better left alone, the gap is from you, the nothing, these things i know, truths, updates, voyuerism, we, well now ya know, what i meant to say, who i used to be, wisdom, wrapped up in things, you might be a contenderMood:lost i cant really help what i'm doing but i'm doing it and i'm doing it well, i'm drifting away from so many people and they're so far away, i see them and i meant to call, i did, i meant to stop by or wave or hug and mean it, i always have cared so much and i appreciate that you remember me but i just dont know what to say anymore. it's a strange thing, growing up, as all things in life are. and then there's those who you try but you just cant reach or you just cant quite get back. i was so unsure about it, missing out on what was traditionally one of the best weeks of my year, until i realized i might not need it anymore. things have changed, so fast and so much. they're so different now, i'm so different now. i dont think i need it i dont think where i've been is a place i feel i need to return to so often, and i've let go of so much of it, the guilt and the shame the longing and the need, and realizing how far i've come is a scary scary thing. realizing that i am, for the most part, fine now, and i have no need to let all that out. every once in a while it does come back and i do need someone but for the first time i have myself, i have some of the best people ever with me on this, and i'm ok. its a scary thing and its a beautiful thing, its a strange thing, growing up. i never thought i would learn how to let go. i've decided that it's time. my updates have become rare and not me at all, i am not me at all. the next few days, weeks, or months will be private entries, except maybe song lyrics, pictures, or a quote, nothing more. right now what i need is to write for me and me only, without even thinking once about what someone else will be thinking when they read it. what i need is complete honesty with myself before i can be honest with those around me. to find the respect and care for myself i try to give to other people. i need to uncover the better version of me that's been gone for too long and get rid of this thing i've turned into, i need to find and know myself, to be ok when everything is not ok. i've let things go too far and i had to reach the brink to realize i wasnt going anywhere but down. i'm sorry i've been gone for so long, i'm sorry for the way things have become, i'm sorry i let this happen, and thank you to all of you who've been with me the whole way and who will never leave, who always accept me the way i am. you mean more to me than you'll ever know.Tags:all things considered, back to me, biker, cause i'm a bad person, circles, family, fan club, friends, get on my level, happy like i used to be, i'm the only one laughing here, life, looking back, moving on, outlaws, ragdoll, something better left alone, the nothing, these things i know, truths, updates, well now ya know, what i meant to say, who i used to be, work, wrapped up in thingsLocation:Empty Chairs at Empty TablesMood:2-4-6-0-1
the italian teddy bear (this is fucked up lol)https://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/web_animations/1.swfTags:all things considered, cause i'm a bad person, crew 38, fan club, friends, fun, funny, hate mail, i'm the only one laughing here, life, ragdoll, something better left alone, the nothing, these things i know, truths, updates, voyuerism, well now ya know, what i meant to say, work, wrapped up in thingsLocation:opening emailMood:amused
"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see." Alice - Alice in wonderlandSo I went out to eat tonight with most of my friends Metal band and a few non band members. I realized half way threw dinner that someone I considered one of my newer friends is really one of my older friends (like 7 to 10 years ago friends). ??? :( ???Tags:all things considered, biker, cause i'm a bad person, circles, fan club, friends, hate mail, i'm the only one laughing here, looking back, meds make me silly, outlaws, poptart, ragdoll, shows, so they say, something better left alone, the nothing, these things i know, truths, updates, voyuerism, what i meant to say, who i used to be, work, wrapped up in thingsMood:scaredMusic:bang bang ...I looked at it as if it reminded me of a crime I had committed, with an irrespressive smile such as rises somtimes to people's lips in the face of great catastrophes which are beyond their grasp, the smile which comes at times on certain women's faces while they are saying they regret the harm they have done. It is the smile of nature quietly and proudly asserting its natural right to kill, the smile which the animal in the jungle never shows but by which man reveals when the animal re-enters his being and reasserts its presence. It was the evil siren in me, ready to lure the hapless sailor to an enticing but rocky death.But I couldn't do it! Not to him.
Music:Sober - by Pink Tuesday 2/24/2009 I got home from NC, and found out today that someone got a hold of my credit card info and has been shopping online. So I spent most the day making phone calls and closing accounts.Wednesday 2/25/2009I went over and helped Peggy box stuff up and move it to the new apartment. We even moved some of the large furniture (go us!). Pat brought us dinner from Two Jays when he got off work. I went home and got cleaned up and then headed to IBar to meet back up with them. 
Music:American me - by Tactical Sekt 
"You cursed brat. Look what you've done. I'm Melting! Melting !,….. Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness."Tags:all things considered, america, analogy, cause i'm a bad person, fan club, poptart, quote, ragdoll, the nothing, these things i know, truths, updates, we, well now ya know, wisdom, workMood:GOODlilGIRL
Music:Novermber Rain - by Gun's N Roses So air travel seems to be sucking lately! Or maybe I'm just paying more attention because of the number of trips I've been planning.I'm going to NC next weekend.April 10th-13th I'll be in BostonApril 23rd-27th I'm going to St. LouisIn May I will be traveling to Virginia twice.once it warms up a bit I'll be heading to Seattle.and I've been invited to Colorado to stay with Reise.More to come….. I hope the travel industry starts getting a little better soon. This past week there have been 4 different plan crashes on the news (American & BBC news stations). :(Tags:all things considered, cause i'm a bad person, chs, crew 38, fan club, friends, over it, the gap is from you, travel, updates, work Tags:all things considered, analogy, back to me, because that's how i roll, biker, cause i'm a bad person, circles, friends, happy like i used to be, i'm just saying, ibar, life, love, moving on, poptart, robeee, so they say, something better left alone, t.h.d, the gap is from you, the nothing, travel, truths, updates, voyuerism, well now ya know, wisdom, you might be a contenderLocation:The DomicileMood:hopeful
A couple years ago a guy I was dating told me that in five to seven years I would be a very becoming woman.In response to my eyes narrowing he added, “of course you’re good-looking now, but it’s obvious that you’re young. In about five years, you’ll be stunning. Age will suit you better, I think.”I didn’t know whether to say thank you or smack him.This little conversation has stayed with me ever since. That was five years ago. I have two years left to grow up and become stunning.I think I’m behind schedule.Tags:back to me, fan club, so they say, updatesLocation:The DomicileMood:amusedMusic:Underneath It All - by No Doubt If I’d done something wrong I would try to make sure to say excuse me Excuse me for looking at you, Excuse me for sitting here, Excuse me for coming back. If I’d done something terribly wrong, I would immediately say sorry! I'm sorry I touched your arm, I didn't mean to, It was an accident, I didn't see it resting there so quietly, so beautifully, so perfectly, so irresistibly, on the edge of the bar, I lost my balance and brushed against it by mistake, I was standing too close, I wasn't watching where I was going, Somebody pushed me from behind, I never wanted to touch you, I have always wanted to touch you, I will never touch you again, I promise, **I swear.....**Tags:biker, cause i'm a bad person, chs, crew 38, fan club, friends, harley, moving on, outlaws, steve, the nothing, updates, well now ya knowLocation:The DomicileMood:contemplative
Music:Coin-Operated Boy - by The Dresden Dolls I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. And that enables you to laugh at life's realities. For those of you who may wonder here is a little update on the happenings in the life of Renee: 1) I found my small set of keys (under the couch, I should of known, lol) 2) I am still downsizing and parted with 2 full garbage bags to Goodwill, and 1 garbage bag to the dumpster. 3) According to the scale at my doctor’s office I have lost 7 pounds since my visit 5 weeks ago. 4) I dislocated my knee last November, which changed my life more then I ever thought it could. For the past month or two I have been toying with the idea of trying to dance on it again (I would wear a support brace the first few times in case it slips out of place). It's just a thought for now, I'm still a little scared. 5) I am more content with myself then I have been for years. 6) I had a realization while visiting friends in Oak Hill the other day, but I'm not ready to share my full thoughts on this yet. 7) I have been enjoying my time with the new people in my life; they make me want to be a better person just by being themselves.8) The ice queen, is melting..... And I'm not sad to see her go. Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. I am going to cut this short and get some work done with the rest of my day. I want to go out tonight, maybe to I-Bar. If I surround myself with the positive influences/people in my life it makes letting go of the bad influences a little easier. Tags:back to me, happy like i used to be, moving on, updatesMood:contemplativeMusic:Last Dance with MaryJane - Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers Top of Page |
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