.:: The Lost Memory of the [J] Rakistang Assassin ::. (original) (raw)

Random stuff in my head… So where am I now lately?

WORKPLACE

As long as you belong to a company, in order to contribute to the company, it’s inevitable. Sometimes to do something that you don’t like is the way to make your mark in the society. It’s a progress. But sometimes, it leads to self violation. And to remain as what you are, you’re true self who will never do something you dislike.

No matter what decision you make you should considered it seriously. I threw up my job though they offer more projects and meet so much trouble, but I don’t regret anything. I have more opportunities than I thought, everyone have too. I believe in that.

There’s no certainty in this world, if you think that's impossible then, that’s the end. Whether you want to make the impossible possible, it’s really up to you!! So we shouldn’t give up so easily!!

If you have the determination there’s nothing you should afraid of.

FREEDOM FROM WORK / FREEDOM FROM BEING A COMPANY SLAVE

Usually at this time i was already in front of my PC and checking emails/fixing some food and getting sleepy in front of my PC.

Now my life started with no alarm clocks, waking up in the same time every morning in the past few months now makes me a little sad.

Life without alarm clock is a paradise, I can watch any TV program, get any food from convenience store, and you don’t have to care about anybody. You can take afternoon naps anytime. When I don’t have anything to do, I always had a DVD marathon and watch it till morning, losing the sense of time. It was a sloppy and relaxed lifestyle. But sooner or later you'll get tired and sick of this life, and you were dragged back to the reality. It seems like; having nothing to do is totally different from having freedom.

SOCIETY

In this society we can’t afford to be so simple minded, if we do we'll be struggling at the bottom, forever...But it’s because were too calculative about things that it makes our life so complicated. Surprisingly, there are people who want a life where the society will call them stupid. Usually people don’t want to be judged by the society as stupid. These people are those who want to succeed in life. They are cunning and ambitious. (It’s not so bad to be ambitious; at least you have goals in life). Thus, they look for people who face failures and surprised by their courage and end up admiring them. They think their life is boring compared to those 'stupid'.

Though, we can’t face some failures. These things will hunt us back and when they do. It’s the time when a man has to be courageous.

Everyone is full of worries...

Everyone is uncertain about everything...

All is searching for the answers.

To grow up to an adult yet still remaining silly is really not easy. So why become dense. Theres a lot of reasons, maybe if you think too hard it’s really troublesome. In this society, it seems like everyone has to prove something, and I think, you really don’t had to prove anything at all. Only those who are weak will do that. (mayabang, in short)

SOLITUDE

How can I accomplish things, all alone?

No matter who, I should go and depend on.

I also want to cry out to someone.

I got scared.

Don’t know what to do.

Think whoever could save me.

Thinking of tomorrow.

I can’t sleep well.

I have no confidence.

I also think what i could be.

But i had no idea.

I’m all alone.

Even I become someone else.

I still can’t change.

I only lived on my own idea.

ON MARRIAGE

Why does everyone (with apologies to old maidens and bachelors) get married?

You’ll become happy when you get married, women cant live alone

(Oh shit! my ego centric, feminist friend will kill me if she read this!)

How troublesome. It’s tiring.

Honestly I really don’t know.

Is it love? Or maybe because of security from the society?

Or to had a partner?

Or maybe because nobody wants to be alone.

You won’t get married if you cant do the right things at the right time.

Oh fuck! A guy who happens to be a friend of mine told me that.

Marriage?! the hell! I don’t even have a guy!!!

IMAGINATION VS. THE REALITY

Imagination is useless just face the reality.

Is that reality, is to think how sad the future will be?

Is that imagination, is to think how happy in the future will be?

Is that to say you expect you will be happy in the future?

But afraid you will be sad... so you prevent it in advance...

Nobody knows the things in the future,

If you say that is imagination, then everything is imagination.

My professor in English literature (honestly she should teach philosophy) told us, its ok to be happy, to have fun, to laugh...though the future is uncertain, it maybe dark but today at least you get a chance to smile, to laugh and to be happy! No restrictions. Don’t think too much of the future. Live the present.

Well I guess its better to hope! Than to be despair!

I decided not to be afraid of tomorrow!

ON WOMEN

There are two types of woman characteristics

the 1st type uses her woman characteristics as her strength

2nd type thinks of herself as weak beacause shes a woman

ON LIFE

Life is not that simple.

As we grow old we just lose more and more things.

There are endings and new beginnings

We tend to get new things when we lose some.