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Friday, February 18, 2005

9:30AM - bored

I have prepared everything I need for my classes for the next two weeks. I even have my photocopies made.

I've graded all work that has been turned in to me.

I'm required to be here for a full work day, but I have absolutely no work to do. I can't even think of something I've been putting off that I can work on now.

What am I supposed to do for the next 4 hours?

Friday, February 4, 2005

12:14PM - not sure what to do with myself

I'm really bored. Progress report grades were due on Monday, so I had to get all caught up on my grading for that. I gave a test Tuesday and Wednesday, so I had a ton of free time during those classes to plan lessons and whatnot. My students in my regular classes watched a movie yesterday, and today they're taking the district mandated test (bad timing, but I had no say in the matter and found out too late to move my test date). Monday and Wednesday I'll be absent (more movie), and Tuesday my other kids will be taking the district test. I've just plain run out of stuff to do. I guess I could start grading test corrections. I've already made lesson plans for next week and the following week. I've also been to the store to buy some ant bait and some flour (Adriana is going to make King Cake this weekend, and I think I'm going to try to catch some wild yeast for a sourdough starter).

My field trip yesterday was so great! My students did a wonderful job of being polite, attentive listeners, and they had tons of good questions at lunch. We all learned a lot of great stuff about current stem cell research. The guy giving the talk did a good job of defining all of his terms carefully and giving the students a lot of background so they could keep up with him. I wish I taught just those kids all the time.

Friday, January 28, 2005

1:15PM - the microscopic world

Today my students are doing a lab using protists and fungi. They're looking at organisms under the microscope, drawing what they see, and identifying structures we talked about it class.

I have one student in my eighth period who is severly visually impaired. I enlarge everything for her. When I was enlarging the lab I realized that she probably couldn't look through the scope, so she couldn't really do the lab. I gave her a choice of using a fellow student's drawings or just having me draw the organisms so she could answer the questions. She wanted me to draw them. I simply don't do them justice, and my drawings have no color. It made me really sad to think that she'll probably never get to look in a microscope and see all the cool stuff down there. Watching it on video just isn't the same.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

9:56AM - Loosening Up

Last week, a student told me I looked different than usual. I asked him why, and he replied "You're not as angry."

My students were working on a lab, and he stopped the chat with me for a moment. We talked about places I've visited in Mexico and places he likes. It was just a casual conversation while we waited for his partner to get back from the bathroom so they could finish their genetics activity.

I know people say I care too much about what my students think of me. (I'm still stinging from the 'dumb broad' comment. Ok, not really, but I couldn't believe a kid said that.) The thing is, Omar is 21, so I interpret his comments as being those of a fellow adult. I'm kind of reexamining my life. All the things my friends and family have been telling me for years - I need to let go of my bitterness; I need to find something every day to not be angry about; I need to relax a little bit and have some fun for a change - have sort of been filed away in some dark corner of my mind where I keep self-improvements that I'll get to later. To have an [almost] complete stranger tell me that I'm too angry made me go back through all of that stuff.

Saturday night I sang out loud in the car in front of people on the way to La Carafe (so prior to drinking). It felt good. It was fun.

Last night I laughed out loud at a joke Adriana made. It was nice to laugh without forcing myself to do so while knowing deep down that I don't actually laugh because Life Is Serious.

This morning in the car I decided that when my dad gets back in town, instead of driving my car through the car wash and then bringing it over for him to wax as he offered, I'm going to take my dirty car and wash and wax it with him. In the end, he's just a person who fucked up a little. I fuck up sometimes too.

This morning I observed another teacher with several people from my community. They said that she should use humor to engage the tough kids, but that humor has to be different from the humor we normally use (word play). I don't think that I can do that, just like I don't think that I have the personality to fight students and force them to learn. Perhaps I won't hate another job. I'm feeling more confident about giving it a try.

This might be just a mood I'm in today, or it might be a really good direction for me to go.

Friday, January 14, 2005

8:19AM - job - what to do

So I'm definitely going back to school in some capacity in fall 2006, which means I have about a year and a half to get ready for it. At this point, I'm perfectly qualified for medical school. I'm taking the MCAT in April to make sure I have nice current scores, but as far as undergraduate degree and work experience, I'm fine.

For graduate school, I'm really missing the research component, and I'm not sure I have four good candidates for recommendation letters. Should I:

a) Continue teaching for another year and apply to both medical school and local graduate programs even though I know that as far as grad school I'm a pretty weak candidate;
b) Continue teaching for another year and apply only to medical school because I'm a pretty weak candidate for grad school so application is not really worth wasting my time or the departments' time; or
c) Quit teaching after May, get a job as a research assistant in a university or medical school lab, and apply to both medical school and graduate programs as a much stronger candidate?

I don't have to decide until about May, but I should start thinking about it.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

9:54AM - jobs

Had a great therapy session last night about my job and my plans for the future. Colleen and I came to the conclusion that I need to go back to school. It's probably too late for the fall semester, so I've got about three more semesters here at Lee.

She also told me that I'm only allowed to take responsibility for 20% of my difficulties in the classroom. It's not 100% my failure. I have to remind myself every day that a lot of my problems are due to cultural dissonance. I can't force and understanding of where my students are coming from (I feel like I need to be doing more to understand them, but we're dealing with that next week). So this morning I was supposed to come in, feel glad that my students bothered to come to school, and feel successful if they completed their activities.

Then we have a Visual Arts community meeting. It's the one we have periodically about what we should be doing as far as parent involvement. We all shout about how we have small learning community meetings, curriculum development meetings, assessment standardizations meetings, etc., and that we can't handle more stuff. Then someone asks what we should be trying to do with our parents, and we all shout again that we don't have any more energy to devote to the job. I think we decided to forget about parents, but now I'm frustrated with my job again. A year and a half to go, an already I'm counting down.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Friday, January 7, 2005

4:04PM - Buzz Kills

Another Create a Virus Project (transcribed exactly)

Name: Buzzkills Virus
it only infects the Cannibus Sativa plant.
it contains RNA
the virus is a cilinder shape with protien tenticals.
the virus prevents chemichal T.H.C to built up in plant
symptoms: since the virus kills the T.H.C pot smokers feel no side effects to the marijuana

This gave me quite a giggle. It came with an illustration of the virus. Honestly, I was disappointed he didn't draw some upset pot head who has just discovered he has been sold infected weed. I would have hung that in my classroom.

1:14PM - Smile

I gave my students and in-class assignment to design a virus that does something new. On of my kids made one that causes depression in clown fish.

Maybe I've just been in the classroom for too long, but it gave me a good giggle (especially because he included all kinds of stuff about how the virus infects and destroys the brain cells that make clown fish happy!)

Monday, January 3, 2005

2:57PM - Critters in my classroom

I had a lovely break. I went some places, and mostly it wasn't too cold. I had a fabulous relaxing time in Mexico with Adriana and her parents and Tubby (awwww...Tubby should come home!), then enjoyed Christmas with my family. Went to McAllen for a funeral (this was the not-so-good part of the break), and then to South Padre Island for a wedding and New Years. All in all, a nice time.

I'm back at work today. I just had a frightening experience with the TAKS test and the TEKS objectives (a lot of them don't match up, and there are some TEKS objectives that I've definitely seen on the TAKS, but that aren't listed as TAKS objectives.) This is a screwed up state, education-wise (and perhaps many other ways, as well). I ran to my parents' house to pick up the classroom fish that I left there, and when I returned, I opened my closet to get out the water conditioner.

And now I'm kind of grossed out. Some critter has been in my closet (there's a crack that a mouse could crawl through at the bottom of the door). It ate part of two boxes of saltine crackers, a package of soy nuts, some styrofoam, and - I'm pissed off about this - an entire bottle of catalase. That shit is expensive, and that was my own private, not-to-be-used-by-other-science-teachers, AP Biology stash of the stuff. Grrrrr. And there are ants in my plant. Also in my pants.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Monday, December 6, 2004

3:31PM - So cool!

In my AP class, we're currently working on genetics. My students are crossing drosophila (fruit flies) of unknown genotype, and determining the alleles for eye color possessed by the parental generation and first generation of offspring. Today, we were moving our F1 generation out of the parental tubes (where they developed) into new culture tubes, while recording their phenotypes as observed under a dissecting microscope. We were moving right along, and about halfway through class one group called me over: "Miss, there's something weird happening to this fly!" I looked in the scope and saw a female fly laying an egg! Soooooo coooooool!

My students think I'm a total whack-job, because I spent the rest of the period bouncing around the room going "This is so awesome! I'm so glad you guys got to see that!"

Whatever, I chose this profession in part because it gives me a license to act like a total nerd whenever I want.

Yay for fruit fly babies!

Friday, December 3, 2004

12:16PM - tired of my job

I'm tired of my job. I go in circles and I never seem to make any progress. Lectured 6th period today on what they are supposed to be doing.

( What I mean when I say school is your job.Collapse )

I'm such a bitch sometimes.

Really, though, I'm getting tired of my job. I just want to work in a bookstore or go back to school or something. Actually, I'd really love to go back to school. I'm afraid I'm missing out on all the cool new things to know. Maybe I should go back and get enough degrees to teach college so I can hang out with all the cool researchers.

In other news, I have a Christmas tree, which is a generally awesome situation because I like Christmas, and Christmas decorations, and the idea of finally being a grown-up-type-person with my own space that I can decorate on my own. Adriana helped me hang ornaments. I think I need some more, but I guess that means living for a few more years (I get a new one every year from my grandfather), or buying some ornaments for myself. Perhaps I'll get some balls as filler until I have more random stuff.

I've decided to jack around for the next 3.5 hours, because I'm too irritated with 6th period to work. Send any suggestions for interesting things to read/look at while I'm stuck in here with the world's laziest students.

Friday, November 19, 2004

8:35AM - question

is "making frijoles" a euphemism for anything I should know about?

I asked my second period if anyone knew whether or not Jazmin was coming to school today, and Jesus said "She's making frijoles." I sort of laughed and said "Jazmin is?" He replied "Yeah, she was making frijoles at my house this morning." I laughed and asked why, assuming that Jazmin really was cooking in Jesus's kitchen when he left for school, but then the whole table started laughing. I'm not sure if it was because I was laughing at the randomness of the situation, or if it's because they were telling me something that I didn't understand. They seemed to think it unusually funny, but maybe my amusement was contagious.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

1:04PM

I just had the "Do you have a boyfriend?" concentration with a table full of students for the zillionth time. Then one of them came around and whispered in my ear "Are you a virgin?" I started laughing involuntarily and then said "Nancy, I can't answer that."

She went and sat back down calling out. "Miss, you look like one! You're all skinny and stuff!"

Oh my.

Monday, November 15, 2004

11:55AM

Rod Paige resigned. There are rumors that he wants to return to Houston. All I can say is that he'd better stay the fuck out of my schools. He's screwed them up enough from 2000 miles away.

Word on the news sites is that Margaret Spellings will replace him. I'm not sure she's much of an improvement. Teachers in Texas hated her. She loves standardized testing. She does most of her shit under the radar. Ugh.

Friday, November 12, 2004

2:06PM - frustrating

I just dodged an assistant principal in the hallway who was running to help handle a fight, apparently gang-related.

Our budget projections came in for next year and it looks like we're going to need to eliminate a faculty position.

At our parent meeting last night (which kept me at school until 8:45, but went really well), a group of parents asked for uniforms, more security, and stricter rules at school.

It's all so closely related. It seems that there is some nasty gang rivalry that has been brewing in the neighborhoods around my school for a while, and people who have the means are doing everything they can to get away from here, because they don't feel secure. The apartment complexes have unusually high numbers of vacancies. This means our student body is decreasing, leading to a lower than expected budget. It also means that the gang problems are starting to return to the halls of Lee High School (after about 3 good years). This makes me so sad. As teachers, it seems like we're really building some feelings of community among our students, and that parents are becoming more interested in keeping their kids at Lee and helping the school so together we can help the kids. Yet we're seeing all of these negative changes. It would be nice if there was some obvious source of these problems that I actually have the power to change. I guess I'll go get drunk this weekend and not think about it.

Monday, November 8, 2004

10:14AM - How to skin a bird

I am healthy for the first time in about 10 weeks! Yay! It seems all I needed was a case of the strep infection that wouldn't die, accompanied by excessive antibiotics that forced me to miss two days of school, followed by two more days away from school the next week for a conference. Walking around Corpus Christi for two days was really good for me.

While at that conference, I learned to skin a bird. I think I might consider taxidermy for my next career change. It was pretty fun.

I'm making through the next two weeks only because then I have Thanksgiving. Anyone have any ideas how to teach the endocrine system? I need a 90 minute lesson for tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

9:15AM - med school

missed med school deadline by 3 minutes. trying to get schools to accept my application anyway. wish i was as lucky at this stuff as Adriana.

not really a big deal, i was just applying on a whim, anyway.

Monday, November 1, 2004

2:06PM - medical school

I started my medical school application during lunch today.

It reminds me of the time when I applied to be in the teaching program one afternoon.

I strike myself as a little impulsive.

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